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Discussion Starter #1
I have been married for 4 months, we have been together for over 2 years. We have kids form previous marriages. My son messes around with my husband and sometimes touches him in his face when they are goofing around. Well my husband ran and washed his face and I told him it was rude. What is his son touched me and I ran to the bathroom to disinfect myself? He got all pissed off and in my face and said it is something he always does even if his son touches his face. He then said "what if my son hit you in your face?" and smacked me. My son and him were messing around, and didnt "hit" him, he touched him. anyways, I was shocked he smacked me. He has always had a temper, never has it become physical with me though. He has hit the walls when we were dating, and does get loud when arguing, but this was out of the blue. Do you think this is just the beginning or just a bad night?
 

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After he hit you what did you do?

What you did after he smacked you will determine what he will do in the future.
:iagree:

He used to lose his temper and punch walls and now he's broken the ice by smacking you. Next time it will be more than a smack. Do you really want to wait to find out whether that smack will involve you or your son?

He's crossed a boundary that no one (male or female) should ever cross.
 

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Oh hell no.

Put your foot down NOW. If you don't, he'll get it in his head that you're okay with being treated like that.

I should have left my ex the first time he smacked me but I didn't. It became years of physical abuse.
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Why does he have so much animosity toward your little one? How do you think that makes your child feel that his stepfather runs to the washroom like a little girl whenever your son touches him?? And getting in your face about it because you asked a perfectly reasonable question??? seriously?! Then slapping you?

This wasn't just a bad night.This is just the beginning. The guy sounds like an abusive time bomb set to explode.
 

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Oh hell no.

Put your foot down NOW. If you don't, he'll get it in his head that you're okay with being treated like that.

I should have left my ex the first time he smacked me but I didn't. It became years of physical abuse.
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Yes, this. Tell him if he ever hits you again, you'll leave him. Let him know it is unacceptable at any level.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I told him not to touch me. Then I was the one that ended up saying sorry. Which I now know was wrong.

He has a problem with my son because we have sons that are the same age (11) and I get a lot of compliments on how well behanved my son is (not bragging) and his sons is a terror. (I do love him:) So he has a problem with that.
 

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I agree with others here. This is definitely not a good sign and there will be more coming. This is just the beginning. It sounds like he needs some anger management counseling.
 

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I told him not to touch me. Then I was the one that ended up saying sorry. Which I now know was wrong.

He has a problem with my son because we have sons that are the same age (11) and I get a lot of compliments on how well behanved my son is (not bragging) and his sons is a terror. (I do love him:) So he has a problem with that.
hmmm, wonder where he got that from? like father, like son.
 

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Not cool. Your husband has issues. He probably feels disrespected by your son putting hands on his face but he totally overreacted by putting hands on you.
He now has disrespected you and now showed your son and his son its OK to hit women. That sucks that he did that.
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I'm happy to say I've not been in this situation. Being involved with violent men haven't been my thing. That said, I've run this scenario in my mind a few times and being the type of person I am, I'd know exactly what to do next if ever it happened to me.

Let's just say it involves him being severely injured within minutes after his hitting me. I'm a fighter. I will fight a man if I have to. He would think twice about doing it again because the consequences would be laid out for him as clear as a pane of glass. You put your hands on me again your ass is going to jail if I don't half kill you first.
 

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I'm happy to say I've not been in this situation. Being involved with violent men haven't been my thing. That said, I've run this scenario in my mind a few times and being the type of person I am, I'd know exactly what to do next if ever it happened to me.

Let's just say it involves him being severely injured within minutes after his hitting me. I'm a fighter. I will fight a man if I have to. He would think twice about doing it again because the consequences would be laid out for him as clear as a pane of glass. You put your hands on me again your ass is going to jail if I don't half kill you first.
LOL

I was actually thinking, "I wonder what he would have done if she'd have hauled off and smacked him back twice as hard." but I didn't think it would be helpful. But I did relish picturing the look on SO's face after that happened.
 

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I like your thinking "a bit much". I felt like hitting him trust me!
I am not sure what he would of done.

I do not want my sons seeing this thats for sure. and they didnt. I hope it does not happen again. Its bad enough that when we fight I try to move it to another room so they dont have to hear us. and he says "they are gonna hear us!" I grew up in that kind of household, and my kids wont. So if it continues, I need to do something. He is so sweet otherwise though. The perfect husband.
 

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I'm happy to say I've not been in this situation. Being involved with violent men haven't been my thing. That said, I've run this scenario in my mind a few times and being the type of person I am, I'd know exactly what to do next if ever it happened to me.

Let's just say it involves him being severely injured within minutes after his hitting me. I'm a fighter. I will fight a man if I have to. He would think twice about doing it again because the consequences would be laid out for him as clear as a pane of glass. You put your hands on me again your ass is going to jail if I don't half kill you first.
You would think that, but until you're in a position where someone much bigger and stronger than you comes after you the realization that fighting back is futile sets in.

I would have always thought I would have fought back, too. Ya know, a swift kick between the legs. Never happened. I was too fvcking scared he's get up and kill me in a murderous rage. You think more about calming him (like the OP did by "apologizing"). You think about appeasing him and getting his mind off of the anger. Anything to stop the violence. Becoming violent will only be seen as a challenge and I learned that the hard way. If they weren't going to hurt you before, they sure as hell are going to make you pay if you fight back.

Aside that, many abusers will turn the tables on you and report YOU for being violent against THEM.

Looks good in a fantasy, but life is not like the movies. Sh!t like that will get you seriously hurt. Much more than a smack.
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I love my parents and they're divorced and remarried to wonderful people, but I saw some knock down drag out fights between them.

One in particular comes to mind when they were fighting and my father raised up on my mother to hit her. They were in their bathroom, and at the moment his hand was coming down, she stabbed him with a pair of hair cutting shears. It went through the soft space between his thumb and forefinger on his right hand. I was 15 and had to drive him to urgent care to get stitches.

Let's just say he never raised up on her again. I have no idea if he had done it before or not, but he never threatened her like that again.

I guess this is why I think like I do. I'm going to defend myself first and foremost, then take it to the next level so that you know for sure you will NEVER succeed in trying to control me in that way.
 

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You would think that, but until you're in a position where someone much bigger and stronger than you comes after you the realization that fighting back is futile sets in.

I would have always thought I would have fought back, too. Ya know, a swift kick between the legs. Never happened. I was too fvcking scared he's get up and kill me in a murderous rage. You think more about calming him (like the OP did by "apologizing"). You think about appeasing him and getting his mind off of the anger. Anything to stop the violence. Becoming violent will only be seen as a challenge and I learned that the hard way. If they weren't going to hurt you before, they sure as hell are going to make you pay if you fight back.

Aside that, many abusers will turn the tables on you and report YOU for being violent against THEM.

Looks good in a fantasy, but life is not like the movies. Sh!t like that will get you seriously hurt. Much more than a smack.
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Thing is about me... I don't fear a man like that. Maybe it's psychotic but I'm telling you with every fiber of my being we'll both be dead if that's what it takes.
 
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