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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband and I have been married for almost two years and For the last few months , my husband can’t seem to get it together with his finances . I am pretty much taking care of all the bills for the household . As of now , I pay the entire rent (2200.00) , car note(550.00) , car insurance(180.00) , cable(100.00) ,plus all the food and toiletries for the household , while he pays for Nothing .I even buy HIS tolietries like toothpaste and deodorant . Plus as of recently I had to pay for the car maintenance due to a broken water pump ..I paid 2000.00 dollars . He said he was going to help me with that but never did .

I’m getting frustrated because my husband doesn’t want to do better with his life . He currently drives for Lyft rideshare full time and Uber , but got fired from Uber due to customer complaints yet He complaines he doesn’t make that much money but I try to suggest other employment but he just shuts me down .

Whenever I try to suggest other employment , even give him business ideas to start his own business . He basiclaly tells me he will not work a normal 9to 5 , because it’s not “Gods purpose “ and he refuses to work a set work schedule and because I want to live this “lifestyle “ I must cover any household expenses because this is my choice and to add he goes on to say because I am not a fully obedient wife- meaning do every single thing he asks of me - he will not work a job to help me with the household bills . When I ask him what does he mean by “obdient “ he just goes on to say “I do not obey “ . And we should downsize and live in a cheap hotel in the area and has even suggested living in a sn RV and or car which Is impossible for me really because I work remotely .

In addition , He refuses to tell me how much money he makes , and/ or the bills he has to pay every month So I really have no idea , how much money he makes from Lyft and or the bills he pays on a monthly basis and or the reason for the issues with his finances .I don’t have access to his bank accounts / debit cards / credit cards and when I ask him he shuts Me down and refuses to show me any bank statements or pay check stubs . So I don’t really know if he’s lying about his finances .

One of my dreams is to buy a home , he basically told me he Is not sure if he can contribute to the mortgage every month because his money he makes from rideshare is not consistent …so to make sure when I do buy a home to make sure I can pay the mortgage on my own and without his help .

Our marriage is on its last leg standing . I didn’t sign up to basically take care of a grown -able bodied 42 year old man . I’ve down everything I can to be there for him yet when He’s not doing his part .all I am asking from him is to pay half the rent and pay a bill or two . Maybe buy some groceries every now and then . I know
I make more money than he does but I just think it’s just really unfair to put this financially burden on me . I don’t know what to do about this situation . Any advice .
 

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This is OP’s previous post I think it tells alot of what we are all wondering.

So like the title states , my husband and I have been married for 1.5 years and he is putting me thought it . He does rideshare for a living so he makes around 1000-1500 a week as a UBER driver . I work two jobs as a analyst and Help desk tech so I do make more money than him but I feel like I’m carrying on the financial burden of the marriage . I buy all the Groceries , toiletries , internet bill , cable bill , car note and insurance . At one point we were splitting the rent , however as of three months ago , he stopped paying his portion because he had some unexpected bills , which I honestly have no idea what those bills are So I’m litterally carrying the financial burden of the household with no help . And I’m frustrated .To add insult to injury , he is flirting with other women and exchanging numbers with his riders he picks up doing UBER I while driving my car .


I found texts with him , sending cash app to different women , meeting up with different women at restaurants to “discuss business “ .I even caught him purchasing Victoria secret lingerie for a woman he met while driving for UBER. He tells me bought it for her to help her with her performing outfit for a concert performance .He’s telling different women he wants to go on vacations , pay their bills , take them out to have fun and pay them as well to join his non profit to help the homeless when he doesn’t have an actual non profit lol . I also found texts with him sending some woman he met money in exchange for a video of her masterbating . He was banned from UBER yesterday due to unprofessional behavior due to several reports against him . So now he’s lost that source of income . I have suggested jobs he can get , his response is “ I don’t like people and I want to be able to network while I work and work a flexible work schduele “ so he’s basically telling me he will not work a regular job .

To add , I also have never met any of his family . He has three children and an ex wife who lives in California . He refuses to tell me there names , show me pictures of them or any type of personal information about them . Also same with his parents , refuses to tell
Me anything about them .I have yet to meet them at all nor his sister or any other family member . When I ask him about it , he just keeps telling me he hates his patents and doesn’t want talk to them . Especially his mother , he hates his mother with a passion .
In addition we are having intimacy issues . We no longer French kiss , no foreplay , no sex in over three months . Actually I can count on one hand how many times we have had actual sex this year .
I also notice when I try to get him to do things I enjoy like concerts , just anything I personally enjoy he gets upset . The other day I asked him to come with me to get a Christmas tree , and he was mad and angry the entire drive to pick up the tree and actually yelled at me in front of the store clerk . He also didn’t but me anything for Christmas . I went and bought him over 1,000 dollars of clothes and this dude didn’t even buy my a nice bottles of perfume or anything . When I ask him why didn’t he get me anything for Christmas , his response is “he doesn’t celebrate Christmas “ . He doesn’t even buy his children anything for Christmas .they are 19,16 , and 15 years old and live in a different state but he acts like he doesn’t care about his own children .
Im at my wits end . Should we try counseling to Try to save the marriage or should I just walk away ?
 

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Explain to him that if he wants you to obey him (what a crock), then he needs to provide for you & that he's the one failing God's plan. God helps those who help themselves.

I would absolutely divorce this bum. Then again i wouldn't have married such a slacker in the 1st place.
 

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He has always done the same type of work - Rideshare .
Jesus. That was your FIRST clue, OP.

If you have a dream of actually GETTING somewhere in life, then the LAST person you hitch your wagon to is some underemployed guy who has so damned little ambition that he resorts to doing something that most people do as a SIDE hustle or part-time gig. Pizza delivery guy would actually be a step UP for him. Come on.

Our marriage is on its last leg standing . I didn’t sign up to basically take care of a grown -able bodied 42 year old man .
Then why the hell are you DOING it? He's a freakin loser. Surely you don't need a bunch of strangers to tell you what a loser this guy is?

I don’t know what to do about this situation
Really, OP? You said yourself you didn't sign up to support this LOSER and yet you are, week after week after week. He's a damned PARASITE.

Call your lawyer immediately.
 

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You need to look inward and ask yourself why on earth you would date or marry a man who not only hides you from his kids and family but apparently has abandoned them as well. That right there tells me all I need to know about what kind of guy he is, and why you would think a guy who doesn’t parent his kids is a great catch. You got what you paid for. I mean, he treats you like complete ****. He uses you. He cheats on you. What on earth do you think is gonna change? At this point, you know what you’ve got. If you stay, don’t complain. You’re willingly accepting all of this. Don’t get knocked up. He won’t magically become dad of the year to your kid.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
You need to look inward and ask yourself why on earth you would date or marry a man who not only hides you from his kids and family but apparently has abandoned them as well. That right there tells me all I need to know about what kind of guy he is, and why you would think a guy who doesn’t parent his kids is a great catch. You got what you paid for. I mean, he treats you like complete ****. He uses you. He cheats on you. What on earth do you think is gonna change? At this point, you know what you’ve got. If you stay, don’t complain. You’re willingly accepting all of this. Don’t get knocked up. He won’t magically become dad of the year to your kid.
Just curious , what type of man does he appear to be ?
 
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