Me and my husband had an arranged marriage. We both met each other and each others family with the purpose of marriage and married about 3 months later.
I had problems with my husband/fiance and both of us being in a long distance marriage did not help either. Later I just realized that we both may be had different expectations from the marriage. I wanted an caring and loving husband who would stand by me and share my dreams and support me with my career. He on the other hand cared nothing about me and my dreams, just wanted me to work so that I could bring in money and was not interested in having an emotional bond with me and was always very critical/judgmental of me. He treated me like a slave - I had to cook an clean for him, pay my own bills including splitting bills when we ate out and still expected me to share my salary with him. His family treated me badly and interfered in everything including our private life and my husband did nothing except for blame me about not sucking up enough. Me and my husband never spoke/discussed anything cos every word I uttered would snowball to a fight. I was going through stressful time at work and times I would also scream back at him.
I always felt neglected and worthless in the relationship although he blames I made him miserable. We had a big fight after I accidentally discovered all the nasty things he and his family had been speaking about me. Before we could resolve that fight I injured my leg and had to shift to my mothers as I was immobile. My husband visited me there but still did not show any concern towards me. He partied the day after I was injured, went on vacations, never showed up for any of my appointments with the doctors during this 3 month period. He was totally indifferent towards me and since our meetings were only during alternate weekends that he used to visit me, our relationship was wavering - sometimes good, sometimes bad. After one weekend where we had a confrontation about him breaking the promises he had made to me before our marriage and lying to me every single day ever since, he left never to return. He called me later that day and spoke nasty things about me and said he wanted a divorce and could not stand me anymore.
We stopped talking to each other but I kept in touch with his family as our marriage had largely been a family affair rather than just him and me. After about 3 months of silence between him and me, he left our house taking with him each and every of my belongings and has not given me his address ever since. He refuses to talk and is busy making false allegations against me and my family in front of outsiders and common friends. Today he sent me a notice from the court for a divorce citing fictitious reasons.
I am tired and drained and confused. I was working on how to try to make a fresh beginning and here I am stuck with false allegations. Now I am not even sure if this marriage is worth saving. All I have received in this relationship is pain for me and my dear ones, however I am very worried about my future.
I come from a very conservative society where there is too much stigma attached to a divorce especially for the girl. Divorcees do not have mush of a future here and are shunned and exploited. I am very worried about my future and cannot decide if I have to force and beg my husband for another chance or if I should just move on.
I am not very optimistic about future alone although i have a good job and placed pretty comfortable on the career and financial front. Money and career are no substitutes for a family and all I want is a loving family that I can be happy living with and die with. I see no hope in either the marriage given that my husband has treated me badly in the past but if I do let off this marriage, I do not see any hope for a future relationship and worry that I might spend the rest of my life in regret of letting this one go.
I was in the past this ambitious, cheerful, happy, intelligent, go-getter who had everything I could wish for. I had a lovely family, a good educations, conquered every goal I set and had a pretty good career. Now i feel my whole life is crumbling, i do not want my career and I do not care for it. I have no desires/goals and therefore achieved nothing in the recent past. The desire to even set a goal and work towards it is dead and my whole life seems meaningless. I am just wandering about every day from dusk to dawn unsure of what I want, let alone working on them.
I am so confused and feel this is really the end of meaningful world of mine. Please help. What should I do? What should I pray for? I have stopped praying because I just dont know whats right for me and what I want.
PS. Thankyou for your patience in reading through my agony. Good day