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Hi Ladies:

Am I an inadequate lover? Am I a prude?

When my husband and I have sex, after I orgasm I want him to finish. The problem is he won't and he keeps thrusting away until it gets painful for me and we have to stop. I sometimes give him a BJ or HJ and he still has trouble finishing. He never use to last this long.

He tells me I should be happy he lasts a long time and some women would love to have a man with staying power.

The trouble is we have 2 young kids, 4 and 1 1/2 and they don't sleep through the night and I always here them first so I am getting up with them while he sleeps like a rock.

I have put weight on after the pregnancies and I have a stomach that needs alot of work. I think this is the reason why he takes so long is that he doesn't like what I look like either.

Am I wrong to complain?
 

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Not wrong at all if it is all the time, or even a lot of the time. Especially if it's causing you pain. Pain is something else, and that should be his focus.

Once in a while, especially prior to the pain or with no pain, then yeah, I don't see the issue. I think it depends on the frequency that he lasts 'forever.' Regardless of that, he shouldn't be wanting to keep going if you are in pain. That's just selfish IMO.

I find it odd he 'suddenly' lasts forever. What's changed?
 

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He probably does that because he's just come from having sex with the OW.
I thought that as well due to it being a sudden change, however the OP doesn't seem to think that's an issue (I assume since she never brought it up) so I left that aside. Maybe it is something worth looking into though if other sexual practices have change as well recently.
 

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I thought that as well due to it being a sudden change, however the OP doesn't seem to think that's an issue (I assume since she never brought it up) so I left that aside. Maybe it is something worth looking into though if other sexual practices have change as well recently.
She has other posts up which raise huge red flags. At least they SHOULD raise huge red flags. She even says at one point she suspects him of cheating.
 

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He isn't having an affair I know that, he goes to work comes home and never leaves the house. I know he looks at porn occasionally on the computer so I suspect he already yanked on it earlier in the evening before we go to bed.

I understand men are going to look at girls on the computer. Some of them are gorgeous let's face it.

I can usually finish in 10 minutes, he likes to go for 20 - 30 minutes.
 

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I was unaware of those posts (I don't read into a posters history very often). With that in mind, then this is a huge red flag and the first place the OP should look. I'd also stop the sex until I was sure if I suspected him of cheating.
 

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He isn't having an affair I know that
Have you read the replies to your other posts ??? And why did you say this then?

I see him looking at other women and I know he is checking them out and fantasizing about them. He is also a breast man and makes it obvious mine are too small for him. I suspect he has cheated but can't prove it but I know he has thought about it.
 

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He isn't having an affair I know that, he goes to work comes home and never leaves the house. I know he looks at porn occasionally on the computer so I suspect he already yanked on it earlier in the evening before we go to bed.

I understand men are going to look at girls on the computer. Some of them are gorgeous let's face it.

I can usually finish in 10 minutes, he likes to go for 20 - 30 minutes.
20 -30 mins isn't that long.

as I get older I need at least that much time.
 
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20-30 minutes for a man is a long time if it's everytime and it is needed in order to orgasm. Most men do not require that long every time.

I thing though I'd mention is that if the husband was an 'early finisher' (like within a few minutes) and he wanted to prolong things, it could take 20-30 minutes. I know for me, there's not much inbetween actually. I can finish very quickly at the beginning if I wanted to, however if I tried to stretch it out for a while, I lose sensitivity down there somewhata and it then be very difficult to orgasm. Eventually I do (sort of hit the right spot) but it can take a while.

Of note, for me when it takes a while to orgasm, when I do it feels better to me personally. Same thing in the very odd instance that I'm allowed to go twice in one session. It can take a long time (an hour or more possibly for me) but that second orgasm feels even better than the first one.

Maybe he's holding out for a better orgasm? Also, to the OP, when he does orgasm, can you tell?
 
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Hi Ladies:

Am I an inadequate lover? Am I a prude?

When my husband and I have sex, after I orgasm I want him to finish. The problem is he won't and he keeps thrusting away until it gets painful for me and we have to stop. I sometimes give him a BJ or HJ and he still has trouble finishing. He never use to last this long.

He tells me I should be happy he lasts a long time and some women would love to have a man with staying power.

The trouble is we have 2 young kids, 4 and 1 1/2 and they don't sleep through the night and I always here them first so I am getting up with them while he sleeps like a rock.

I have put weight on after the pregnancies and I have a stomach that needs alot of work. I think this is the reason why he takes so long is that he doesn't like what I look like either.

Am I wrong to complain?
What do you do for him before intercourse? As we get older it can be harder to get so excited. We aren't teenagers who can be "ready to go", stick it in, and then pray we last long enough. It takes longer. A little foreplay for him (at least for me) does wonders in helping me get there faster. Some soft touching, a bj, etc. Get him ramped up before you start.
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This reminds me... Not even Jesus pleased everybody...

Damn! Just give him stimulation for 10 minutes.

Your 10 minutes= His 20 minutes - 10 minutes of BJ/Handjob

It's tha math...
 

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What do you do for him before intercourse? As we get older it can be harder to get so excited. We aren't teenagers who can be "ready to go", stick it in, and then pray we last long enough. It takes longer. A little foreplay for him (at least for me) does wonders in helping me get there faster. Some soft touching, a bj, etc. Get him ramped up before you start.
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This is very true, not sure of your husbands age, but as mine has gotten older ... I have had to get more creative, adventerous, use a little novelty and lots of oral... in a way this works out, as he has slowed down, I have revved up & had more of a desire to BE this way....

If your husband is nearing 50... here is a book to help with ideas ..it talks about these >>> "men's sexual response is affected by the "Big 5": stimulation, circulation, lubrication, stress, and sleep"... all about coping with the normal and gradual decline in the speed and intensity of male sexual response .

I don't personally have this book but it sounds good for older couples.

All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50: Barbara Keesling: Books
 
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