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Ultimately, not one person here believes anything but that he is in a loving, committed relationship with “her” and staying with you to maintain the family image. And why shouldn’t he? You are making it so easy for him to make a fool of you. Best friends don’t lie to each other about MAJOR parts of their lives, for years; loving spouses that are part of “something special” don’t have an affair partner…for years. I’m not sure what else there is for you on TAM. You are completely resistant to basic facts. Literally not one other person that knows your story agrees with your view of the situation. I’d bet my house that many other people know about their relationship. Neither of those 2 things I mentioned are opinions. They are facts. I’m curious as to your parents’ relationship, that you are so easily able to convince yourself that the truth is a lie.
 

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We have 3 children, 18, 14, 9.
How many children is “multiple?” And what is there age range? That may well explain why he’s still he’s there.
The oldest son apparently knows about the OW. Not sure how much he knows. OP is a lost cause. She has a real life friend that says what we are saying and dozens of people online that all see this for what it is. Yet she refuses to see it. She likes her fairytale land too much.

If you go back to her very first post it is apparent from day 1 they only got married because she got pregnant.They didn't get married because they were in love. They got married because he wanted to be with his kid full time.
 

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If you go back to her very first post it is apparent from day 1 they only got married because she got pregnant.They didn't get married because they were in love. They got married because he wanted to be with his kid full time.
Yep. And a few years ago, the husband offered to buy her a house and support her for the rest of her life if she would simply leave and let him keep the kids. It's pretty clear he's just biding his time now.
 

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OP, I truly hope you’re able to wrap your head around all this and realize that letting him go is not the horrible thing that it seems. Try to start letting him go mentally. I would hate to see you suffering needlessly because you can’t accept the obvious.
 
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