Does your husband know that you found out about his affair?
my husband is cheating but it cant be serious because he always post me on social media right?
My husband and I met in high school, we were together and then broke up and got back together, I got pregnant at 18 and he decided he wanted to always be around his child everyday and that we were going to be a family. We got married when our child turned 2. We have been married now for over a decade and I thought we were happy. We have had hiccups and honestly while we are great friends, I do feel that we are very different romantically but nothing our marriage can't fix to me. I found out he has been seeing a woman for 3 years. I have read some text messages to her and they are really really involved. He asks her opinion a lot about life matters, work matters, and from the looks of it, they started a secret business together! They even have a realtor to purchase property! My husband and I hardly have sex, and awhile ago in an argument he told me had checked out years ago but that to me is anger talking and we do have three beautiful children and he is such a great father! Ever so often, we do engage in physical intimacy and he still attends our family gatherings, outings with kids, family vacations, and even proclaims me on social media outlets knowing I love to share our relationship with our friends and family. He always makes it a point to post me on special occasions which to me always says "we are OK". I love to share this on my social media. He does all of these things which to me, I know this affair is temporary. He is very present!
My good friend tells me, he settled for me because of the children, he's obligated to me and if he has been with this woman for 3 years and counting, its not a fling but I just don't believe that! I guess here I am seeking any advice and if you think this 3-year relationship is real or not and how should I proceed. I do not want to ruffle any feathers because I do think this is temporary because of him being present and doesn’t miss a beat but it is very off-putting to know he is making money with this woman, she is in his personal life, I saw she helped him make multiple appointments, he goes to her for advice about everyday matters, he even shares things with her about our children! They are too intertwined to me but how intertwined could they be if he is still present with our family.
Just this past weekend, our oldest graduated and we are taking a "graduation vacation" until Thursday he has really posted me this weekend. I love when he does that. But when I looked into his phone, I saw that he made sure to see her before we left on our vacation. and he explained to her all of the activities we had planned this weekend with OUR family. He also told her he is excited to go because it is fun for our children. He told her he loved her and couldn't wait to be back from vacation to see her. I am so confused because he again has posted me all weekend, and it really makes my heart soar. What do you all think? I need all the raw advice and experience.
My good friend tells me, he settled for me because of the children, he's obligated to me and if he has been with this woman for 3 years and counting, its not a fling but I just don't believe that! I guess here I am seeking any advice and if you think this 3-year relationship is real or not and how should I proceed. I do not want to ruffle any feathers because I do think this is temporary because of him being present and doesn’t miss a beat but it is very off-putting to know he is making money with this woman, she is in his personal life, I saw she helped him make multiple appointments, he goes to her for advice about everyday matters, he even shares things with her about our children! They are too intertwined to me but how intertwined could they be if he is still present with our family.
Just this past weekend, our oldest graduated and we are taking a "graduation vacation" until Thursday he has really posted me this weekend. I love when he does that. But when I looked into his phone, I saw that he made sure to see her before we left on our vacation. and he explained to her all of the activities we had planned this weekend with OUR family. He also told her he is excited to go because it is fun for our children. He told her he loved her and couldn't wait to be back from vacation to see her. I am so confused because he again has posted me all weekend, and it really makes my heart soar. What do you all think? I need all the raw advice and experience.
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How many children do you have? What are their ages?Hello EleGirl, no he does not know that i found out about this. I am addicted to looking at his phone when he leaves it laying around.
I'm sorry to say that the reason that your husband is posting about you on social media is that he does not want anyone else to know about his cheating.
My suggestion is that you don't tell him right now that you know what he's up to as there is some info you need to collect.
Can you do something like take photos of the texts with her with your phone so that you have solid proof. If you confront him about this, he will most likely lie. That's normal for cheaters to do. You especially need proof of him having a company with the affair partner (AP). Legally you own 50% of his part of that business. If they are buying real-estate together you own a portion of it. Do you know the name of the business? Is it registered in your state as an LLC, a corporation, etc?
He takes you and the children out on your anniversary. That's very telling. He should be taking you out, just you and him, on your anniversary to celebrate your marriage.
You are not crazy. Your idea that by taking your children with you it shows them a good example of love is good. But he should also be taking you out on dates. And your anniversary is one of the most important dates you two should be celebrating, just the two of you.Am I that crazy? I thought that us going out as a family celebrates our years of marriage and allows our children to see real love.
How much time do the two of you spend together doing date-like things, just the two of you without the children? What sorts of things do you two do together?
The business is in her name only? Does he give your money to by the properties or for anything else?We have 3 children, 18, 14, 9.
I have read that the business is in her name only and the real estate will be in her name only as well. I have read so many texts between the two. He asks her for advice about his job, life, family, he shares things about our children with her.
I agree with your friend. If he was just using her for sex, he would be having a lot of sex with you. He would not be talking to her about everything in his life. He would not be in some business with her. He's very much involved with her at a very deep level.Using her for sex, this is what I told my friend and she told me I was delusional. So you agree! The reason she says its not for sex, is because he shares all the intimate details about his life to her, including bank statements he has sent to her, helping him with investments, job related things, helping our sons with things, she even opened each and every one of them a bank account when she opened up her two childrens accounts. She is too hands on to me but that to me is because like you said, she thinks he is going to leave me for her! I am his life and I really wish she would move on!
" Your husband is a user, he's not a good person." This is a hard thing to see.
What's going on here is not unusual for cheaters. They end up with two different lives... one with their wife and children and then a secret one with an affair partners.
I need to clarify some of this just to make sure that I understand...he shares all the intimate details about his life to her, including bank statements he has sent to her, helping him with investments, job related things, helping our sons with things, she even opened each and every one of them a bank account when she opened up her two childrens accounts. She is too hands on to me but that to me is because like you said, she thinks he is going to leave me for her! I am his life and I really wish she would move on!
He's sending her his bank account statements? Are you on his bank accounts? Or do the two of you have separate accounts?
She's opened up bank accounts for your 3 three children? Is this what you are saying?
What is she doing to help your children? Have your children met her?
Is she married? Do you know her name?
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