I am in the process of trying to find my bearings in a toxic marriage. I have not given up hope for a better relationship and I want to keep my family intact (two children). My blood is boiling right now. I am attempting to separate myself from him physically at night--sleeping in a different building at our home. It isn't very comfortable, but I prefer it to being around the chaotic toxicity that we create. I spent late-night time with our kiddos after a pretty peaceful day (and sleeping in the other building for the last two nights). I went out there to resume sleeping out there and he was there smoking pot and cigarettes--inside the building with the window cracked. It is a building that we share as a family and there have been many discussions and agreements to smoke outside and "out the window" (dumb). He just doesn't care when no one is around and doesn't respect the rules we have decided upon. (!) I complained and asked him to be respectful. I also told him I needed the space. He refused and asked me to leave. He said he intended to use it to sleep. I told him this was always my plan and I had been there two nights already. He was watching YouTube loudly and smoking pot and that is his MO (until all hours). He claimed I was aggressive in "taking over the space". He then got up and lit a cigarette, half out of the door. As we discussed who would stay and I refused to leave but said he could stay if he turned the volume down and smoked outside, he closed the door and came in to smoke. I opened the door and he closed it again claiming he did not want to be cold. He continued to smoke and even seemed to blow smoke in my direction. He does this when angry. My heart is pounding, I am so mad. I opened a few more windows and he closed them. I got up and conceded the space. I told him "you win" and left. He was surprised. I usually am prepared to battle it out so I should be proud, but I am so mad. He wants his space to use his drugs and doesn't want a challenge. I wish I was brave enough to end this marriage. This does not resemble the man I married. I think I might cry. Wait, I may not have any tears left. This sucks.