[kirsty77]

my husabnd has left me out of the blue on saturday,we have been together for nearly 10 years and married for 5,we have 2 children together 7 and 4 and i have 2 children from a previous relaysionship
we have only had one big argument in the whole time we have been together,i did not see this coming i thought we were happy, he says there is nobodys else but i think he is lying to me , im struggling to cope with all the boys with no money coming in now and he doesnt seem to care

 

[Toffer]

Kristy,

I'm sorry you find yourself here

regardless of the reason, he needs to support AT LEAST his two kids and if you are a saty at home mom, he should be helping you too.

Call a lawyer now to find out what you're entitled to.

If you and he have joint credit cards, cancel them so he can't run up your joint debt. Also move half of any money in a joint account to an account with only your name on it

After doing these things, start investigating! Go to the Infidelity section for tips for how to find out what's going on

Good luck

 

[IsGirl3]

wow so sorry to hear this. if you think he's lying you might be right. i guess time will tell, or a better investigation by you. do you have a parent/friend/sibling to lean on? if you don't have a job, you need to get one to be more independent. follow the above advice re: financials. look for a local support group. your kids need you now more than ever. don't fall apart. find the strength within you to keep doing fun things with them, and teaching them, taking them places. if you fall apart, they will too, and you don't want that. they are the most important precious things in your life. protect them by being strong.

 

[northernlights]

Big Hugs to you hon. If you need help while you're waiting for your soon-to-be Ex to pay child support, it's available. If you live in a small town, the people at the town office should have help available and know how you can reach out for more.
Stay strong for your kids! If he can just walk out for no reason, you're better off without him.

 

[sweaty teddy]

I don't think anybody leaves out of the blue.

either he had resentment building for a long time and he just finally left or theres a women.

how was your sex life?

I guess that don't really matter the other poster is right go to a lawyer and see what your rights are.

 

[waiwera]

Aw sorry to read this hun... that really sux. You have a lot to deal with.

Have you got family and friends to support you.. with the kids and more?

Keep busy...and yes sort out all legal and financial issues.

Remember to eat and go for a walk and try to sleep...take care of your self and those kids.

 

[alte Dame]

Definitely go to a lawyer. Check your phone records - there's a good chance he has another woman. Cheaters always lie about it.

 

[Rob774]

Sorry to hear about this, especially if it hit you without warning. How was your relationship?

 

[Kurosity]

It was only "out of the blue" for you. He knew what he was going to do and I am very sorry that you are in this situation.

First things first you need to contact your local state ran welfare system and see if they have a state ran child support collection agency. These usually garnish their checks based on separation with or with out custody established, as long as you have physical custody then you can get child support.

Then contact a lawyer and start shutting joint finances and take half of any savings. Remove your name from all shared accounts as well.

Even if things become a matter of reconciliation you will have your self and your children's financial protection in order just incase. If he can just up and leave with out warning then there is no predicting what else he could do.

I know it seems harsh and quick because you must feel like you have no idea what is going on or what the future might hold. Just live in the here and now and take the steps to make sure that you are financially protected and that you have the income he is responsible to pay for his children.

I would also suggest finding support groups and even IC because you are dealing with a marriage gone mad becoming a single mother, which in its self is the most stressful, depression inducing thing on this planet. Don't wait for things to be real bad before you act.

 

[SlowlyGettingWiser]

Where is the father of your first two sons? Is HE providing financial support for HIS children (if they're still minors)? If not, why aren't you in court REQUIRING it? DEMANDING it?

Start the legal action required to get your H to start paying for HIS two children. Get yourself a job if you don't already have one. Having money coming in will make EVERYTHING a LITTLE less stressful.

Hang in there, you can make it ONE STEP AT A TIME.