At the beginning of COVID quarantine I found out my husband of 15 years was having an affair (all through texts, phone calls, email, mail - no actual physical) with an ex girlfriend. When I confronted him he broke down and we decided we would work on us / that he would end it. The next few months were great. Fast forward a few months and I find an email with a video of him master bating sent to her. This time when confronted he says he is leaving me for her. I leave to stay with family for a week and my husband begs me to come back and apologizes, wants to work on us again. Then a few weeks later he says he realizes he is not in love with me anymore. He then leaves to stay with his parents for a few weeks..returns..says he wants to work on us but then just in a few days (last night), changes his mind and wants to move out, end it without working on anything. He is an alcoholic and he wants to go to rehab but told me not to have hopes that we will end up together afterward. I am heartbroken and cannot deal. I want to work on us and bring our marriage back to where it was a few years ago when it was good. Am I stupid for feeling this way after all of this back and forth. I still have hopes that he will change his mind. He says he is no longer in contact with HER but I don’t know what to believe any more. I did start therapy / counseling but I feel like I can’t even function.