We've been together 20 years (F45 m42) married almost 16 yrs and have 3 teen/preteen kids. He is the primary breadwinner (Trucker) I am on Disability. He says he wants an open relationship because he is Polyamorous or non monogamous. I have always lifted him up let him know how much i love him and care about him told him how sexy and handsome he is I always tried to be who or what he needed. Most of our relationship i did what he asked of me that is until I just couldn't anymore i began to get panic attacks and it got to a point where for 2 yrs i couldn't leave the house because i felt like something horrible would happen. since he asked for a divorce i have come to realize that my anxiety and in ability to be intimate comes from not feeling secure or safe in my relationship. I have spent most of our marriage hearing him tell me where i fall short what i am doing wrong and what i could do to please him, never did he once ask me how i felt or what i needed from him to help me through things or what i needed to feel loved by him. I have made it clear that this was it I will not take him back. Where i need advice is he has asked me to hold off on filing for a divorce until we can figure out what life will look like separated he wants to spend his off time in a camper in our driveway(we live in the country it is a very big driveway) 5-7 days a month he says he will give me sole legal custody and sole physical custody an he would give us 75% of his check for spousal and child support. Am i being an idiot for considering this? He has been my best friend for 20 years he isn't a bad guy i think he just needs to see what life could be like and he chose to go about thing in the wrong way. I don't want a nasty battle and i feel like if i don't let him do this his way my kids will resent me for chasing him away...