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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
We have been together for three years now and we recently had a baby. Before we even tried to get pregnant I would always try to have sex and he would say no. He was to full, he was watching tv, he has to take a shower anything he would say. I dont know what to do! He says he loves and I know he does, he is always around me with me everywhere I go. He is the best he massages my feet, he takes me out on dates, brushes my hair when I ask him to. The sex never comes. I have tried everything. From lingeries to little role plays. I have put myself out there. I have been rejected so many times. I want to give up and just be happy for what I have but sometimes I just want to feel wanted. I dont try to have sex with him anymore, but omg Im always thinking about it. The thing is he is always touching my butt or grabbing it and that turns me on,but I dont tell him to stop cause thats all I get. I just love him so much and he is so sexy to me, I cant help it think about sex when he touches me or when we lay in bed. Please some help, I want to stop wanting to have sex with my husband. I have tried talking to him about it but he gets so mad a couple of times we almost got a divorce but I rather have him and change the way I feel than to lose him. What should I do keep trying???
 

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If he really does love you then he should be willing to make you happy. Tell him you aren't happy and you want to try a marriage counselor.
Maybe he has low testosterone. Can you get him to see a doctor? It is a simple blood test.
If he gets mad about talking about sex, then there is something seriously wrong, and you shouldn't go the rest of your life in a sexless marriage. If he admits there is a problem, then you have a chance at working things out (MC or getting tested), but if he doesn't think that a sexless marriage is a problem after only 3 years of marriage, then you need to start thinking about a divorce.
 

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Hi I am going through the same problem.... Very similar to yours..... The only mistake I made by having kids from him..... Can't get out of my marriage but ruined my life.... My husband does not have any desire to have sex with me.... He does not even touch me or cuddle with me..... Forget about having sex once every two months, in my case it's only once every three years, only the time when we wanted to have kids...... You should move out of this marriage..... I know the exact feeling of yours how you want to be felt wanted by him..... In my case for the first 3 years of our marriage I used to take the initiative oh having sex..... After 10 years that doesn't work either.....I just you to love out or take him for counseling to talk about his low sex drive......
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I feel with you, just why WHY those type of men ever get married :mad:,....... You have every right to ask him to be checked by a doctor ,your a women with needs ,he didn't get married to have a maid or trophy in the house ,whatever you feel is never going away and eventually all the squeeze huges and massages go away and you end up staying for your child ..if his problem is not medical related issue ,and I bet he is not gay,I am sorry to say but there is no hope,leave
 

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If he doesn't see any real consequences, he will never change.

Ask him how he will feel if you move on and get into a relationship where your needs are met? how he will feel when another man is satisfying you?

You deserve to be loved and desired. You deserve a full relationship.

Please go to counselling. Tell him you need counselling, to have his testosterone levels checked, and to start fixing this now, before you fall out of love from the hurt and rejection.

Oh and please don't have children with him.
 

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Be stronger when you initiate. Jump him, sove your hand down the front of his pants and whip it out if you need to. :) Walk into the room, naked, get on top of him and look him right in the eye and say......**** me right now.

If you still get rejected after that, then something is seriously wrong.
 

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I can't wrap my brain around this. Literally just 10 minutes ago my wife and I argued b/c she pulled away from me while I was trying to put my hands on her lower back - she was looking in the mirror getting ready.
Your hubby's behavior. Hmmmm. Is there a chance he is gay? I knew a couple in college who were dating and as soon as I met the guy I knew he was gay. I mentioned this to my GF and she said, "NO HE ISN'T". Well, they married and had a child and then he was caught with a guy 10 yrs later. It is possible for a woman to be married to a guy and not know he's gay. Something is wrong - I don't know a single dude that doesn't want to have sex with his wife.
- Your hubby doesn't know how lucky he is. I know how frustrated you must be. If I go 2 days I'm grumpy as bear.
Start asking your friends if they think he is gay - they may know and just aren't saying anything.
 

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Have him see a doctor, check his T levels, rule out any health issues first. If its an ED problem then help him through it. He may just be too embarrassed to tell you.
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Jeapordy, He says I have the problem and that I should go see someone. I asked him, so wanting to have sex with my husband is a problem and he didnt answer. I am going to see someone hopefully they help me to understand. Im pretty much just hurt.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Super Celeb, We already have a baby. It was to late, i didnt know he only wanted to do it have kids. So one day he told me thats pretty much why we were forced to do it. The bad thing I was already pregnant I didnt know it but I asked him so are we going to stop having sex after we get pregnant and he said yes.
 

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It sounds as if he is a bit insecure. By the way, you do not have a problem and it is not wrong of you to desire your husband. You should let him know that as a married couple, this issue is a problem for both of you.
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Super Celeb, We already have a baby. It was to late, i didnt know he only wanted to do it have kids. So one day he told me thats pretty much why we were forced to do it. The bad thing I was already pregnant I didnt know it but I asked him so are we going to stop having sex after we get pregnant and he said yes.
Ouch.....
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Super Celeb, We already have a baby. It was to late, i didnt know he only wanted to do it have kids. So one day he told me thats pretty much why we were forced to do it. The bad thing I was already pregnant I didnt know it but I asked him so are we going to stop having sex after we get pregnant and he said yes.
So... you didn't have sex before marriage? There was never a "Honeymoon" having sex all the time stage for you two?:scratchhead:
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I feel so ugly most of the time, Im ashamed of my body. I dont want him to see me anymore. I have been rejected enough times I dont even try to have sex. I still think about it every night we go to bed and I lay there wishing he would touch me. Through out the day he will grab my butt and I get turned on so I want him to stop doing that to me I just dont know how to tell him. I know he will get mad and he will never touch me again even if its just playing around. he says i have a problem for wanting to have sex with him. I tell I atleast I dont want to go with anybody else. I find him so attractive and I love him so much. He is great with everything else, but I want to feel wanted and desired by him so I can be complete. He says I ask for to much. Maybe I do because I want to have sex everyday but I think if I would get it, I wouldnt want it every day. Im so frustrated.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
So... you didn't have sex before marriage? There was never a "Honeymoon" having sex all the time stage for you two?:scratchhead:
Well when we first met we would do it all the time. It just stopped and I thought it was because of all the supplements he was taking but it wasnt.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Somethins definitely wrong if he doesnt want to have sex..does he masturbate? watch porn?
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Nope he doesnt do any of that, I ask him when was the last time he masturbated and he said a long time ago cause he is lazy.
 

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Well when we first met we would do it all the time. It just stopped and I thought it was because of all the supplements he was taking but it wasnt.
Then IMHO something else is wrong. Either physical issue (ED) or he either is cheating or gay. Put your radar up: read his phone messages. Some say that is an invasion of privacy. Or just check the phone/txt records.

This just isn't natural....

Supplements??
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I can't wrap my brain around this. Literally just 10 minutes ago my wife and I argued b/c she pulled away from me while I was trying to put my hands on her lower back - she was looking in the mirror getting ready.
Your hubby's behavior. Hmmmm. Is there a chance he is gay? I knew a couple in college who were dating and as soon as I met the guy I knew he was gay. I mentioned this to my GF and she said, "NO HE ISN'T". Well, they married and had a child and then he was caught with a guy 10 yrs later. It is possible for a woman to be married to a guy and not know he's gay. Something is wrong - I don't know a single dude that doesn't want to have sex with his wife.
- Your hubby doesn't know how lucky he is. I know how frustrated you must be. If I go 2 days I'm grumpy as bear.
Start asking your friends if they think he is gay - they may know and just aren't saying anything.
I asked him one day if he was gay. I had to because I kept on throwing myself at him and offering other kinds of jobs if you know what I mean but he kept on rejecting me so i got tired and asked him. He said no and that he couldnt believe I even asked him that. You are right I actually told him all men want to have sex with their wifes once in a while.
 

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I say take these steps:
1- ask him gently if there is a physical problem and say there is help for it... be loving and encouraging.
2- if that doesn't work suggest counseling.
3- start snooping
along the way, focus on your own well being - get active, workout, get some positive hobbies and try and be happy.

if none of the above work you have to entertain divorce.
 
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