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Hi all
I've been lurking here for a while, i have recently started questioning my marriage (17yrs)
It seemed like my wife would deliberately pick fights with me, constantly on her phone till late at night.
I can almost pinpoint the exact date this started, yes I know red flags.
There are more, but i don't feel like getting into it and being berated.
I am planning on doing some investigating, and am looking for some recommendations for spyware for Android tablet and phone.
I am aware that this will not hold up in a court of law, just need to investigate for my own peace of mind.
I have to say though the thought of this is amazingly painful, the uncertainty is much worse.
I never thought I would ever contemplate something like this.
Just looking for some advice and recommdations.
Thanks
 

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Put a dog tracker in her car.
 

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Put a VAR in her car or anywhere else you believe she may be taking phone calls. Call your cell phone provider and get print outs of her call and text history. Are any of her social media accounts connected to the tablet? You may want to look under settings to see if any of her passwords are saved and if you can view them. From there, you can log in to her accounts on another tablet or computer. If all else fails, hire a PI.
 

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There really is no privacy in a marriage, except going to the toilet (without electronics.)
Some suggestions:
1. GPS tracker that plugs in the OBD port of her car.
2. Voice Activated recorder for her car, and anyplace in the house that she likes to go to when making/receiving calls.
3. Keylogger for both the phone and tablet (Google for suggestions/ratings)
4. Obtain cell phone records. Look for patterns. Check out frequent numbers.
5. Get a recovery program for her phone (Dr. Fone is one.) Grab her phone when you can and run it.
6. Inspect phone for any any suspicious apps. If you find any, set up "Dummy" accounts to see what you can find out.
7. Search all social media you can think of. Facebook, etc. Look for IM's in all of these.
 

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I like Fonelab better than Dr. Fone. Check Apps like What'sApp, KIK, fb, Words with Friends, etc. We have a long version some out of date, I expect, called Weightlifter's Standard Evidence.
Faithfulman recommended this VAR a bit ago:
The best bang for your buck is the Sony ICD-PX470 - around $50 on Amazon.
Read the manual, you can suppress all beeps easily.
Also get an SD card so you have a ton of recording time: The SanDisk Ultra 32GB microSDHC UHS-I card with Adapter - 98MB/s U1 A1 - SDSQUAR-032G-GN6MA is 32GB and runs $8 on Amazon.
You can buy 100 Amazon-branded AAA batteries for less than $20. More than enough to keep you going for a long time.

. Make sure you set the recorder to record to the SD card.
 

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Hi all
I've been lurking here for a while, i have recently started questioning my marriage (17yrs)
It seemed like my wife would deliberately pick fights with me, constantly on her phone till late at night.
I can almost pinpoint the exact date this started, yes I know red flags.
There are more, but i don't feel like getting into it and being berated.
I am planning on doing some investigating, and am looking for some recommendations for spyware for Android tablet and phone.
I am aware that this will not hold up in a court of law, just need to investigate for my own peace of mind.
I have to say though the thought of this is amazingly painful, the uncertainty is much worse.
I never thought I would ever contemplate something like this.
Just looking for some advice and recommdations.
Thanks


If I have learned anything on this earth...when your body talks to you, listen. It runs a lot of things on autopilot and when that beeping noise starts going off...the plane is saying you need to take action or crash.

When in doubt...develop the situation.
 

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yes I know red flags.
There are more, but i don't feel like getting into it and being berated.
We're not going to berate you for describing red flags, the more you describe the more likely we are to be able to help you catch her. We're also not going to berate you for anything you do to catch her cheating, just don't tell her how you caught her in case you need the trick again in the future.

I agree multiple vars, one in the car and one in the house where she likes to talk. Keep one on you at all times too. If you think she's bringing anyone to your house you might set up a spy cam too. On the vars, make sure you either go through the menus and turn off the beeps or cut the plug off a cheap set of ear buds and plug them in to the speaker jack to make sure it doesn't make any noise. Use lithium batteries and a big memory card. You might not catch her in the act or even talking to her affair partner but you might catch her talking to a toxic friend about it.

Go through the detail on the phone bill and look for messages or calls to a repeating number, then try to id that number. Does she use iphone or android? Is she glued to the phone? Use a tablet?
 

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Yup the gut feeling and the red flags. Knowing those, people here can really help. They helped me for sure. Lots of good knowledge around here.
 

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I will honestly say my gut was telling me something was going on for a while before I caught my wife cheating on me. Listen to your gut, in the meantime collect as much evidence as you can. Good luck man!
 

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A funny thing....

The wind that ruffles the red flag that initially tugs at you the hardest, originates from just below the waist.
Below the radar, with it covered over by thin, and soft cotton.

It is from there, that your 'sensing' loss is first, and most hurtfully felt.
From there, it poisons, thoroughly your blood, then so your mind.

While, we are certainly joined tight in our minds, it is our loins that is held reverently, most near, and most dear.


The Typist-
 

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@Uncertain58, do not with fearful certainty, abandon your new found friendlies, here.

Post again, post often.

We see past yours to our past uncertainties.
For sure.
 

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Do you REALLY need to find proof that she is up to something?
You certainly don’t have to show anything to the courts.

no body knows her better than you. If you think is is doing something, then the odds are very good that she is.

Good luck and stay strong!
 

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Just get a private investigator. Divorce is expensive, a private investigator less so. You would spend mucho bucks on many things important to you - houses, cars, marriage, kids, divorce, health - so don't be cheap about it.

Try to stop being afraid. It comes down to that, usually. You are too afraid to tell her you need to see all her late-night messages or you're divorcing her. If the messages were deleted, it's up to her to recover them. The cheaters aren't afraid of losing the marriage, but the betrayed is. That ends up in a big lose for you. Would she rather show you the messages or divorce you? She knows damn well she's cheating and you'd catch her, so maybe she'd leave you for it. If you can't be brave now, work on it. Get used to the idea. She's stabbing you in the back. She will lie to you and try to blame you for it. Some people will believe her, not you. Life is not always fair. Focus on what your goal is. First things first, though, you can't do anything unless you know the situation. Step one, find out if she is cheating, step two is she redeemable, or do you even care by then.

Late-night messages and guarding the phone for several times a week for a month or longer is an affair. If it's less than a month, it is an affair 99% of the time, but 1% of the time she is making plans for a huge surprise party for you.

Do you think she's giving you a big surprise? From what you've posted, you will not be all that surprised.
 

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Every time someone comes on here with a gut feeling about cheating ..... they are always right. The only exception being the lady who found her husband kept sneaking out because he wanted a smoke and he said he had quit. I call that one a “Lucky Strike”.
 

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The cheaters aren't afraid of losing the marriage, but the betrayed is.
So true ... and that is why they stay stuck in fear but honestly this applies in a higher percentage to men. Women are mentally tougher usually and can plot and plan before they make their divorce move.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Thanks for all your replies.i appreciate it.
I am definately going to figure out what is going on, for my own sanity.
I start thinking I'm just imagining things, and I have to remind myself about what I've noticed.
Is this a normal reaction?
Sorry in advance for going on and on, i just need to vent a little

Anyway , quick back story.
First, i work out of town a lot which doesn't make things easier.
Almost 2 months ago , i started noticing that she seemed to purposefully do or say things to make me mad, which gave her a reason to be mad at me(it seemed like)
Then I noticed she always had her phone with her and would be checking it and texting till at 10 pm,which is very unusual for her.she used to just leave it lying around.
she started avoiding sex, saying she was tired etc. Sex has been an ongoing issue through out our marriage.somtimes her, sometime me, I'm definately no angel.
Last time I was home I noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding ring, which is really strange as I have never before seen her go out without it.
When I asked about she acted surprised and looked guilty, she said she didn't think I would notice.

I recently took her out and had a heart to heart with her, it seemed to help a little.
I also told her , i would not be in a sexless marriage, strangely this seemed to help the most.
I have always believed you only get married once, but this is testing my beliefs.
And yes writing this makes me realize how stupid it looks to think I'm imagining things.

i have also started seriously looking for a new job close to home,
 
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