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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hi, I'll start by telling u my story..

I met a nice beautiful girl & few months later we talked about marriage.. we're both r from a conservative / religious families or so I thought!

She likes to go to the beach & wear swimsuit has a lot of "guy friends" she tells me she's a virgin so far we didn't have any kind of sexual intercourse as I thought we're "doing the right thing!"

about me.. I am nice to her I have a good job & good money the issue is.. she has more money & she thinks she's much prettier than I am!! LOL..

the issue here is I told her I don't want her to go to the beach (& wear Swimsuit) anymore what happened before I wont ask about but from this point forward I will.. she answered NO SORRY!!

I will elaborate more if u have any questions for me.. I want to know if I should keep this relationship or shove it down the toilet LOL!
 

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Honestly, it sounds to me like you're too immature for a relationship right now. You're upset that she wants to go to the beach; you're bragging about looks and putting hers down. I don't know if she's a virgin or not, and I'm not going to ask you to elaborate, because I have to be honest, I think your elaboration will just be of a similar vein, and it's all petty, silly stuff.
 

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I apologize but I dont think u know what conservative is!!

Who r u to judge me!! immature ha! well thanks anyways ur reply is just another bla in the net! u didn't solve anything so u came here to insult! that shows how much u know!

Thanks anyways!
 

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Are we dealing with two different cultures here? It's perfectly normal in America and most of the western world for women to go to the beach and to wear swimsuits. I do understand some religions frown on such activities and views it as a sign of promiscuity. If this applies to your religion, find a woman who shares your particular religious views. "Conservative" means many different things, depending on cultures and context. I'm politically conservative but I don't believe women in swimsuits are asking for sexual activity or for eternal damnation. Her parents' beliefs really do not necessarily dictate her own. Before you discuss marriage, perhaps you might seriously discuss your apparently very different religious views. Two oxen, unevenly yoked, can't till a straight furrow.
 

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the issue here is I told her I don't want her to go to the beach (& wear Swimsuit) anymore what happened before I wont ask about but from this point forward I will.. she answered NO SORRY!!
I would say this relationship isn't going to work, if a swimsuit is going to cause a problem of this magnitude.


I want to know if I should keep this relationship or shove it down the toilet LOL!
I think your girlfriend should "shove it down the toilet". Your post title and content indicates you are controlling--and that may be okay in your culture. However, most of us here in mainstream USA see it as unhealthy in a relationship. I really hope you get this figured out.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I would say this relationship isn't going to work, if a swimsuit is going to cause a problem of this magnitude.

Your post title and content indicates you are controlling.
My personal opinion that wearing bikini/swimsuit is showing too much & I don't like it :(

Well.. I am a little controlling I don't deny it but I'm good in other ways that makes up for it.. plus I never hit or do anything bad.. is it really that bad to be a little controlling & want my girl only for my self?



Are we dealing with two different cultures here? I do understand some religions frown on such activities and views it as a sign of promiscuity. If this applies to your religion, find a woman who shares your particular religious views.
Amazing answer I love the way u put things.. Yes we r from different cultures but share the same religion & religious life style!

She's perfect in all the ways & the issue might not be as much -when I think about it now- Swimsuit as it is respect for me! I gave her nothing but love & respect, & I expected more from her when I asked politely saying this is not something I like & could u plz not go.. she said NO SORRY! that made me sad & disappointed she didn't even discuss the plan with me before hand cuz she knew I would refuse she came & said I'm going with my friends.. that showed me there is no respect from her side!! made me really sad! :(
 

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Going to the beach is a wonderful and healthy past time. How about if you take her shopping and help her pick out some bathing suits that she will love, but you are also comfortable with her wearing when she's at the beach? Don't try to control her, just tell her you will pay for the suit that you both like the best.
 

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I SEE YOURE POINT…there is enough Hootchies out there and you don’t want you’re girlfriend to look and act like one of them…THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT YOU NOT WANTING HER TO SHOW OFF HER GOODIES TO EVERYONE period…I don’t care what all the pacifists say ….there is a certain intimacy that is being abused and certainly is hurting you’re feelings and believe me the guys are looking at the perkies poking through her “underware” or now they call them bathing suites…that’s disheartening to you …we as a society have become so horrible and dis-credit on anything that should be held sacred…the downside is she is young and is in this current world and probably likes the attention from all her guy friends…my wife was the same way when she was young and was hard headed as well …it takes some time…if she has other qualities you like hang in there and see how it goes she may be the one for you …AGAIN you are not a prude and immature you just want her to be proper and it hurts you’re feelings when she would rather be vain then repect your wishes…don’t worry stay on her in a biblical fashion with respect and if she is lead by god she will stop…I wish there was more guys like you there would be a lot less hootchies walking around that discredit themselves to please men…
 

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Going to the beach is a wonderful and healthy past time. How about if you take her shopping and help her pick out some bathing suits that she will love, but you are also comfortable with her wearing when she's at the beach? Don't try to control her, just tell her you will pay for the suit that you both like the best.
THATS A GREAT IDEA :iagree:
 

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what country u from? tell us also about yer culture so we can informed commentary/suggestions here.

too little info for now. pls add. tks.
 

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what country u from? tell us also about yer culture so we can make informed commentary/suggestions here.

too little info for now. pls add. tks.
 

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This goes far beyond swimsuits and short dresses. The OP apparently feels that respect equals unquestioned obedience and expects that from his wife. The girl in question apparently feels more independent. Most Westerners wouldn't understand this concept because we generally take for granted that women have rights equal to men.
 

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In the USA, conservative means: "Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change. Traditional or restrained in style." Thus you might call someone a conservative politically or you might say someone was a conservative Christian. That still would not equate to an unmarried girl obeying her boyfriend. Even in a very conservative religion here in the USA, an unmarried girlfriend has no legal, moral, or ethical obligation to obey a man who is not her husband.

I believe there are some religions and cultures around the world in which the woman is more subject to the man, but even there I believe the girl would be subject to her father until she is married and then subject to her own husband. Thus, you are trying to exercise husbandly authority over someone to whom you do not yet have authority. Now, if you respectfully requested and explained to her your reasoning, including modesty--then I would say that you two are not as close to like-minded religiously as you thought you were. However it does not sound like you respectfully requested but rather demanded and when she did not obey your demand, you threaten to end the relationship.

I am a married lady and I do not mind saying out loud that my husband is my head, but even as a man who has the authority to ask such a thing, if he were to threaten the relationship every time he didn't get what he wanted, I would not consider him as being wise, loving, or considerate! Even in the instance where you had such a right to ask of her (which, that I can see, you don't), to put her in the position to either "obey you" or you threaten her life is the definition of immaturity. That does not breed respect or obedience in a woman--Trust me! Offering her security and consideration DOES.
 

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There are plenty of girls in this world who are insecure & damaged enough to do whatever you tell them to do & will allow you to control their entire life.

Why waste your time trying to make this girl into something she is not? Go find a girl without a mind of her own.
 

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There are plenty of girls in this world who are insecure & damaged enough to do whatever you tell them to do & will allow you to control their entire life.

Why waste your time trying to make this girl into something she is not? Go find a girl without a mind of her own.
Yep, but that would be far too easy! There's nothing like controlling another person I guess.
 
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