I've maintained a positive and close relationship with my ex-inlaws since my EXW and I divorced 3 years ago. However, my GF feels this is weird and is struggling with where she fits in this dynamic.
The in-laws I speak of is my kids' grandfather and Uncle. The two of them are an extremely positive influence on my kids' lives. Their grandfather helps me take my son to school in the morning and the kids go over his place 1-2x a week after school to hang out and have dinner.
My GF doesn't have a problem with this regarding the kids. She is struggling with the fact that I spend time with my ex -inlaws more than just a simple hello. When I go pick my kids up from their grandfather's house, I may spend a couple hrs with the in-laws, have dinner and having a good time. This had occurred 1-2x a week since I pick up my kids from their house anyways. And this has gone on before my relationship with my GF by the way.
This weekend was my last with the kids before they spend the summer with their mom (who lives in Minnesota). The kids and I have been spending a lot of time with my GF and her kids over the last few weeks. But then on Saturday night, the kids and I spent time with their grandfather and Uncle. It was a bit last minute and left my GF scrambling to find something to do since she assumed we were going to do something. I apologized for the last minute plan with the in-laws because I definitely felt it was unfair to her that I left her hanging (even though there were no definite plans).
However, she was equally upset that I went along with the kids and spent Saturday night with the ex-in-laws instead of her.
I explained to her that I wanted to spend as much time with the kids as I could since they would be gone for the next two months. And that I don't consider my in-laws more important than her. I just wanted what I thought was a good balance and best for my kids. And I wanted to be a part of that.
But she was still upset that I would choose the in-laws over her. At one point, I started to feel like she was making me feel ashamed for having this type of relationship with my ex-inlaws. I know it's not your normal/avg relationship with an ex-inlaw, but I don't feel I should cut off a good relationship just because I divorced their daughter (who is barely a part of my ex-inlaws lives anyways).
I wanted to tell my GF that she is acting this way because she is insecure. But I didn't since I know that would be a hellish thing to say. But am I right about her and her insecurities? If so, how do I help her understand better?
Or am I out of line with my friendship with my in-laws?
The in-laws I speak of is my kids' grandfather and Uncle. The two of them are an extremely positive influence on my kids' lives. Their grandfather helps me take my son to school in the morning and the kids go over his place 1-2x a week after school to hang out and have dinner.
My GF doesn't have a problem with this regarding the kids. She is struggling with the fact that I spend time with my ex -inlaws more than just a simple hello. When I go pick my kids up from their grandfather's house, I may spend a couple hrs with the in-laws, have dinner and having a good time. This had occurred 1-2x a week since I pick up my kids from their house anyways. And this has gone on before my relationship with my GF by the way.
This weekend was my last with the kids before they spend the summer with their mom (who lives in Minnesota). The kids and I have been spending a lot of time with my GF and her kids over the last few weeks. But then on Saturday night, the kids and I spent time with their grandfather and Uncle. It was a bit last minute and left my GF scrambling to find something to do since she assumed we were going to do something. I apologized for the last minute plan with the in-laws because I definitely felt it was unfair to her that I left her hanging (even though there were no definite plans).
However, she was equally upset that I went along with the kids and spent Saturday night with the ex-in-laws instead of her.
I explained to her that I wanted to spend as much time with the kids as I could since they would be gone for the next two months. And that I don't consider my in-laws more important than her. I just wanted what I thought was a good balance and best for my kids. And I wanted to be a part of that.
But she was still upset that I would choose the in-laws over her. At one point, I started to feel like she was making me feel ashamed for having this type of relationship with my ex-inlaws. I know it's not your normal/avg relationship with an ex-inlaw, but I don't feel I should cut off a good relationship just because I divorced their daughter (who is barely a part of my ex-inlaws lives anyways).
I wanted to tell my GF that she is acting this way because she is insecure. But I didn't since I know that would be a hellish thing to say. But am I right about her and her insecurities? If so, how do I help her understand better?
Or am I out of line with my friendship with my in-laws?