Talk About Marriage banner

21 - 33 of 33 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
384 Posts
Stop covering for her. If you wish to get involved but want to maintain a safe distance from the fallout take a few shots of her escapades and have it sent to her husband when you know she isn't around. Anonymously. And I don't think she turned into a greedy, selfish individual overnight. She's always been that way and has been successful (until now) covering her tracks. You owe her nothing and she isn't a friend since she's put you in this position.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
71 Posts
Discussion Starter #22
First off I'm not hiding anything, or condoning wht shes doing at all I'm disappointed and disgusted. I've not seen him to tell anyone anything I'm hoping shes gonna knock off her bad behavior before it's too late and she ruins her life and whts left of his
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
71 Posts
Discussion Starter #23
I'm not doing anything to hide it or being apart of her lies, or helping cover for her, shes been calling me acting like shes doing things with me or other thing s to get out of the house while telling me made up crap shes got to go do infrontnof the husband. To look like shes doing something initially other than making her time with her secret santa,,
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
71 Posts
Discussion Starter #24
I agree with you Goldielocks, both are dogs,, it's not the first time cheating for either of them so I'm not surprised just dont like tht I was put in this position as I was the reason they met inadvertantly
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
71 Posts
Discussion Starter #25
Sun mars, my hands are very clean as i dont live my life in lies and cheating or being greedy self centered and only pretending as some do.. I have no dirty anything in my closet only clean laundry that gets washed and hung out for anyone to see. So not scared of the light on my choices to care abt others .
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
11,688 Posts
Sun mars, my hands are very clean as i dont live my life in lies and cheating or being greedy self centered and only pretending as some do.. I have no dirty anything in my closet only clean laundry that gets washed and hung out for anyone to see. So not scared of the light on my choices to care abt others .
Ah, yes, all is good from your end of things.....

So then... bare her ass, spell out, and point out her phony spoken asterisks to her sick hubby.

Those phony 'ass-tricks' of her.

Let the poor man know her soulless ways. Let him know, now, not when she eventually joins him.

That way he can 'haunt her' from the other side, when that appointed time arrives.

It may be painful, more painful, but retribution need not die for lack of knowing these truths.

She is having her funny bone and it tickles her fancy.

Let her know what fear and anguish feels like.

Be, Karma's sister in law.


Lilith-
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,245 Posts
I'm not doing anything to hide it or being apart of her lies, or helping cover for her, shes been calling me acting like shes doing things with me or other thing s to get out of the house while telling me made up crap shes got to go do infrontnof the husband. To look like shes doing something initially other than making her time with her secret santa,,
This in it's self is an omission, by default on your part. You say not covering but because you say nothing, makes you the accomplice in the greater sense. But you come here hoping to get relief from your conscience. Don't rattle the shield of honesty, when you fail to stand for what is right and proper. You must choose where you stand. Integrity is doing the right thing when no one see you. Just saying.....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
563 Posts
I lost the best friend I've ever had in a similar situation. We were younger, and not married yet, but she was cheating on her fiance while we lived together. I couldn't stand by and watch her do that to him, especially when she brought him over to our house all the time and I had to smile to his face and pretend I didn't know anything. I told her that I felt I was complicit in her lying, that I didn't think it was right and that if she did not tell him that I would. I think she knew I was serious.

I went away for the weekend right after we had that fight. Came back home a few days later and she was gone... along with all of her things. Apparently used the weekend I was gone to move out, and she moved in with her fiance. That opened a whole new can of worms (left the place a mess, some of the things she took when moving were mine, left me holding the lease and refused to pay rent anymore even though we had a contract, etc.) It immediately ended our friendship. All because I threatened to tell the truth.

I was so angry and left in such a mess that I never did tell her fiance. I regret that, but it seems too late now. They did get married and have now been married for over 10 years (we are friends on FB now). I assume he never found out... but I really dont know.

Personally, I think you should at least have a very honest conversation with your friend that you are not going to be involved anymore. I do not regret losing my friendship, but I do regret never actually telling her fiance the truth. I do believe that you become part of the lies yourself when you stand by and watch them happen.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
there is no statute of limitations for telling the truth.

this BH serves the truth.

why?

I have seen too many WW cheat on their BH before they married him
to only cheat on them after they had married.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,761 Posts
He needs to be told. Give the poor man a chance to change his will.
Unless he lives long enough to also divorce her, she will still inherit unless she signs away her rights.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,372 Posts
There are anonymous ways of telling her husband if you don't want to get caught up in the drama.

At any rate, I highly suggest you make sure he knows. Don't try to prove it to him or get caught up in it, just make sure he knows what you know, and the rest is up to him.
I don't get this anonymous stuff. If it's something the cheated-on husband should know, then it's something she (OP) should first let her "friend" know that she's got one chance to come clean to her husband, otherwise she's (the OP) telling the cheated-on husband herself. Inevitably her (the cheater's) world will blow up, but I think it fair to let her (the cheater) face the manner in which it blows up herself.

If nothing else, there should be some time in which the cheating wife gets to fear the end game. That fear, that dread, is often worse than the thing itself. Time for her to contemplate what she's done.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
11,688 Posts
Are you saying they have both cheated on each other in the past? If so maybe this is just the arrival of the karma bus.
The way we read it, is that her GF and her AP have both cheated in the past, the BH has not.

Correct us, if we are wrong.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18,381 Posts
I don't get this anonymous stuff. If it's something the cheated-on husband should know, then it's something she (OP) should first let her "friend" know that she's got one chance to come clean to her husband, otherwise she's (the OP) telling the cheated-on husband herself. Inevitably her (the cheater's) world will blow up, but I think it fair to let her (the cheater) face the manner in which it blows up herself.

If nothing else, there should be some time in which the cheating wife gets to fear the end game. That fear, that dread, is often worse than the thing itself. Time for her to contemplate what she's done.
That method can work, but there are other reasons why it’s sometimes appropriate (I believe) to do it anonymously. For example, in the workplace where it could affect your career. In a family situation where it would turn your family against you - especially if you’re an in-law - I’ve seen that many times where the person that tells the truth gets rejected for it.

Or if you’re a friend, you could get rejected by the group of friends for blowing up someone’s marriage.

I’m not saying it’s always right, I’m just saying sometimes it’s appropriate. The important thing is that the person being cheated on finds out the truth, and whatever way makes that work works for me.
 
21 - 33 of 33 Posts
Top