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There are guys out there that want exactly that.....being the secret!!!!! No strings attached, kind of thing.

My wife found a few...very few that were like you and did not want a relationship with my wife. but the onse that did wanted only one thing and in turn my wife only wanted one thing and that was sex, affection and attention. A need I wasn't filling.

My wifes affairs were very secret. her second life had nothing to do with her family her "real friends" and of course me. My wifes second life consisted of a completely different group of friends that didn't even know about her first life with close friend and family.

Anyway my point is you are thinking completely wrong in the fact just cuz you wouldn't want to be a secret another guy wouldn't either.


So at the end of the day until you find the other man and start making this affair inconvinent and uncomfortable your wifes current behavior will last as long as she is married.

Once the divorce is done...BAMB "look who I just met" ..."this is mommies new friend" Hell its surprising that your wife is the one that filled (that is rare) so you may be on to some thing here......she may very well be getting pressure from her boyfriend that he no longer want to be "the secret" and if she didn't file the OM would bail. Hence the resaon she filled first and not you.


If you can expose the affair you may have a better chance of getting her out of the fog. Hire a PI if you can afford one. But I get it no one wants to be a stalker....

Just saying someone is influencing the dynamics of the marriage, with 2 young boys, she is being influenced to bail on there father.
 
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