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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
My husband is 20 years older than me. He was working in Latin America for four years and was coming home every three months and spend few days home.
Finally, he lost his job and came back for good.
The man that came back was a completely different man. He was bossy and nasty all the time. Criticizing everything the way we do thing at home and want to change everything. Leaving with him was leaving in hell.

I was thinking that since we was apart for four years probably we had grow apart and we need time to get use of each other again.

He also told me that he was impotent and can not have sex with me. We don't have any sex for the past four years, not even cuddly together or anything.We are like brother and sister. He also did not want to use any of the blue pills. I am sure he is not cheating on me here, on the state because he is always home since he retired, so because he is 69 and I know that I was marring a man older than me, I accepted it.
One day he asked me to look for something in his Bible and when I opened it I found a Love Card from a girl from the country that he was working.
I did asked him will be better to get divorce and since we was selling our home, so was a good time to split apart and he could do whatever he likes with his life. He swears them that he love me and he wants to save our marriage. I did feel guilty for leaving him along for four years, because I did not want to leave my children and my parents here, and move with him to OS so, I justify that it happen because he was lonely away from home.


Finally, accepted that he has an affair with a 25 years old girl, but he told me that he never had sex with her and was something that passed very fast. He even told me that he told this girl that he love his wife.

One day months later I answering the phone and was this lady calling Him from overseas.
When I told her that she was talking to his wife, she hang up the phone.

When I confronting him, he denied everything and he said that maybe she got the number from someone else. It make me, change all the numbers in our home and also the cells.
A month ago, I was going up stair and he was talking in his cell in our office. He was telling this person be carefully when she call him, but at that time I show up he got so nervous and hang up.
He went to the bathroom, took his cell with him and erase all the number. Poor guy! He did know that I will check our phone bill as soon it arrives and find out who he was talking too. He is a big lyer, so he denied everything again. I told him that will be better if he said the truth because I will find out.
Last Friday I got my phone bill and I got very sad when I discovered that him was trying to locate this girl using a calling card and calling her number few times in a day. In the whole bill was only twice that she called him back. My bill goes until the end of March, so I don't know how many times he had called her in April. She is now in USA.:confused:
When I tried to call her number it was disconnected, so I guess he asked her to change it.
He did not know that I will not stop there, so I stole his cell phone and wait for her to call him back. Yesterday when I was checking the calls that he got, found that she called but did not leave messages, but I heard her speaking Spanish. I went and check the envelope information and find out her number, so I called her.
First she denied everything, but I explain to her that I was not calling to blame her for anything. I just like to know what was going on with my husband and tell her that I was not holding him back and I want him to leave but he did not want too.
Finally, she told me that he was a friend of her parents and he was a great man that teach her how to dress, giving her a life that she never had before. When I asked her how old she was, she told me she is 20 now!
:scratchhead:
So, my husband got in her parents house when she was 13 and brain watch this girl until she fell in love for him and because he is done as a man, because he did not have sex with her, she took it as respect:confused: She told me crying that he is the best man and I need to make him happy.
Now, I wonder how I will feel if a 60 year old man that I bring to my house as a friend brain watch my 13 year old daughter and I will still considered that he is a good man?
My daughter said that he only do it to satisfy his ego giving hopes and dreams to this girl, so he feels more manly knowing that a young girl is in love with him. Believe it or not, I think she think she is in love with him.
According with the girls her parents love him very much. I am wonder if we here in America are different. In here this man will go to jail.
At this point, I don't know what to do. I asked him to leave and he said it is his house and he is not going anywhere.
I am also concerning with the mortgage payment. He told me if he leave he will not paid the mortgage. He is retired and it is the money that we used to paid our mortgage.
I am wonder if anyone had any experience in cases like this and what right I have since I am a housewife and will be hard for me at least until I find a job and go back in my feet.
Feel free to said whatever you like. I am open for all the opinions and suggestions.
Thanks for reading. I know it is long.:sleeping:
 

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I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.
You should definitely consult a lawyer - he can't just go start his life over and leave you with all the bills! If a lawyer is too expensive, you can look into mediation, which I understand is more affordable.
Do you work/have your own income? Or has he been the breadwinner the entire marriage? Alimony may come into play as well.
The idea of a man his age with a girl that young - even if they didn't actually have sex - is creepy and totally inappropriate. As hurtful as it may be, it sounds as though you may be better off without him.
I wish you the best.
 

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my 69 year old ex husband moved in with a 24 year old girl with a little baby and now he is buying a house for the 3 of them. I am so angry and it makes me sick. This happened 3 days after i said i thought we should separate. He just just moved in her apartment. She is from india i think. There was definitely something wrong with your husband. I could cringe when i think of these men taking advantage of these young girls just for their ego. Sick, sick. You should leave him. You can never trust him again.
 
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