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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Hi everyone, i need help here please my daughter is driving me nutz. As soon as she is up in the morning she starts whining about wants milk to drink and when i get her milk within a second she changes her minds and tells me she does not want milk anymore. so i take the milk from her and she starts raging and throwing herself on the floor and crying, yelling loudly. This goes on all day lone, her wanting something and not wanting it at same time.

Also, she has problem listening to us, she is always getting into us stuffs that we dont her to play with, she started touching everything when she started crawling and no matter what we did we cant stop her touching things. We put her in time out on a naughty spot, we sent in her room, even i spank her sometimes nothing is working for us. People say ignore her when she is whinning or being difficult but it is hard to ignore her. She turning the house upside down it is so hard to organize things cause nothing stay where it supposed to be, she break all her dresser by crawling into drawers and bring them down. We remove everything from her room except her bed or else wont go to sleep but play things in the room.

We have a son who turned 1 year this week and it is so hard for him play with any toy cause she takes the toy from him. We cant sit down and do blocks or coloring cause she want take all to her self and the funny thing is she wont play with the toys she just throw them away so that the baby wont get them. she doesnt show much interest playing and having fun like kids do, she is always worry about what other people in the house are doing. She is telling us dont touch this and dont touch that and when im doing something she is always getting my way more than the baby does. So, her behavior make me worried that something might be wrong with her. We havent tested her for any behavior disorder. When we ask her to do something she tells us "no i dont want it". Did anyone had experienced this?
Thanks for all the help in advance..

On the other hand, she is very loving, she is always giving kisses and hugs to us and she wont go to bed until she kisses everyone good night.
 

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Ya thats what they do...."the terrible two's"

Been there done that!

So you are not alone


It does get easier, but you have to balance out the crap with the baby and the 2 yo....they can see there getting the short end of the stick when you have a baby cuz the baby is more dependent on you.

You just have to get in there and work it, some of the hard things bring the greatest rewards. so work smarter not harder.

I know you will find some Juidi mind trick that will solve this, you just have to stay with it and it will all come together.

Don't let them compete with each other...granted they don't have a phucking clue about competeing but they do know when one is getting more then the other.

balance it out and work at it, your little girl will see that she is just important as her brother.
 

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It's not called the terrible 2s for nothing.
It's time to implement firm but loving boundaries.
If she wants the milk and throws it away she doesn't get anything else, she'll scream and cry but it won't hurt her. It's just noise and her frustration coming out.
You can you the 'no is no' approach but if that's a bit harsh, I always gave 3 warnings then the naughty step.
She's finding her way in the world a d testing you.
Does she have a good routine? That always helps. She also needs to know that no, she doesn't own everything and she can't have anything she wants. Again a loving but firm approach works well.
Having a 2 year old and a 1 year old is hard work. She might be feeling a bit jealous of the little one two and trying to get your attention, but in a negative way. Make sure there's time set into your routine just for her with reading, drawing, lego etc. fresh air helps, a visit to the park or a walk everyday is also a must.
The baby years go by so quick but it's worth putting in the extra work with routines and loving boundaries to ensure it all goes smoothly.
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks so much guys, that helped me a lot. The only routine she has is bedtime routine, and she goes to bed very easily and stay in bed until 8 or 9 in the morning.
 

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My youngest has just hit the "terrible twos" but it is easier for us as with 4 older children we do know it will pass.

Little kids are hard work and anyone who thinks otherwise is a "fool" and having 2 little ones is more than twice as hard as 1. We had our first two 14 months apart and then at one stage had 3 under 5 so I can remember how tired and irritable we both were as parents at that time.

A united front and firm boundaries lets our children learn what behavior is and is not acceptable.
Try and have more set routines for your children, make an effort to get around the table for meals and snacks, whilst they are little have a set “nap / quiet” time around noon (you could do with the rest as well I am sure). We found it helped to limit the number of distraction little kids had, try not to use the TV as a baby sitter too much, by all means let them watch the favorite show but make it a treat (record it if the time does not suit your routine).

"Chin Up" it will get better.
 

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Wendy, well done on getting the bed time routine sorted, that's usually one of the hardest ones to implement.
Regular meal times is also a good one to introduce as it adds structure to the day. Again it doesn't have to be too strict but if she has an idea of when meal time and snack time is then that will help.
Does she still have a nap during the day? If not, after lunch is a good time to have a bit of quiet time, maybe just to sit down with you for a cuddle or watch a DVD together.

It's exhausting, I know, but hang on in there and remember saying no to her isn't going to harm her!
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Yep, it sounds perfectly normal. The only thing worse than having one toddler going through the "terrible twos" is having a set of twins going through the "terrible twos". You will get through it!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Wendy, well done on getting the bed time routine sorted, that's usually one of the hardest ones to implement.
Regular meal times is also a good one to introduce as it adds structure to the day. Again it doesn't have to be too strict but if she has an idea of when meal time and snack time is then that will help.
Does she still have a nap during the day? If not, after lunch is a good time to have a bit of quiet time, maybe just to sit down with you for a cuddle or watch a DVD together.

It's exhausting, I know, but hang on in there and remember saying no to her isn't going to harm her!
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Thanks Daisy,

she refuse to take nap just before she turned two,but she goes to her room for quite time most of the time. Meal times are pretty much regular but she is not good eater so we struggle a bit with that too. Sometimes she does not eat any of her foods and sometimes she eats all so im trying not to stress out about her eating habits.
 

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Yeah, two is tough! Try to catch her doing something good and give her positive attention for that ("I like the way you said thank you," "You did a great job behaving at the grocery store," things like that).

If she does well with routines, maybe you can incorporate more into your day?

Good luck, you'll come out on the other side of this... with more gray hair! :)
 

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Thanks Daisy,

she refuse to take nap just before she turned two,but she goes to her room for quite time most of the time. Meal times are pretty much regular but she is not good eater so we struggle a bit with that too. Sometimes she does not eat any of her foods and sometimes she eats all so im trying not to stress out about her eating habits.

When she's hungry, she will eat. That's an easy one.
 

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What really helps is getting some free time to yourself. Whether it's everyday or a few days a week. An hour of free time really helps deal with the stress of a toddler.

My middle child never took naps. Even the daycare couldn't get her to nap. I quit my job when she was a year old and I've stayed home since. My husband is extremely involved in the children's care. He would take the kids when he got home from work and I'd take an hour to run 6 miles. On my day off from running I'd still take that hour and that's all I ever needed.

What really helped was having a baby carrier for the youngest. My younger two are 21 months apart.

This doesn't last. They usually grow out of this behavior by 4. In all honesty these younger years are so much easier then the teen stages. Especially when they are nearly 18. My oldest was our toughest.
 

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You're doing fine with starting some of the routine. I found 3s worse!

If she asks for milk and changes her mind, she gets nothing. If she doesn't like what you give her at snack or meal time, she gets nothing.

It is SO HARD. But really in less than two weeks (the worst 2 weeks of your life) she will drink what she asks for, she will eat what you put in front of her or at least not complain.

Children are made so they will not hurt themselves by lack of food or liquid.

Have you added rewards? A walk with the stroller ever day at 10am. The park every afternoon at 3pm. One TV show at a certain time. Clean up before Dad comes home. Make a schedule to post somewhere easy to see in the house to keep you on schedule.

"Now it is time for________" Dance after breakfast. Read before nap (quiet activity). Craft when wake up from nap.

Being a parent is a LOT of work! But you will find kids feel reassured that everything is OK when each day is very predictable. So the more you do to make each day predictable, the better.
 
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