I'm so frustrated. I want to please my wife sexually. That means not taking forever to climax. So, I am trying to eliminate things in my life so that I will climax faster for her when we do have sex, which is not too often. I think you get my drift on what I am giving up.
Anyway, I am walking around this morning dying inside. I want to release myself so bad but I am not so I can climax faster for my wife, if and when we do have sex!! But I know I am going to have to freaking weight when she is good and ready to have sex with me. This seems so unfair!!!
What would happen if you told her exactly this? Anything?
I think its crazy that pleasing her sexually involves it not lasting very long. It has been a real eye opener coming to this board and reading about the suffering so many are going through. I have my own issues to work through but cant imagine treating my husband like this!
Thank you. It's BS! She is going through Menopause. I'm taking her to the doctor. I don't care what she says. I have a strong sex drive. She didn't complain before we were married! And get this. SHE SAYS I'M TOO BIG!!! I THOUGHT WOMAN LIKED BIG MEN! AND SHE'S COMPLAINING ABOUT IT?
What am I doing to do, force myself on her? No, I can't do that. When I do try to take over in a fun way she complains that she has a stomach ache or is not feeling well. She has an excuse for anything. It's pathetic.
I try to massage her, I try to be romantic. She doesn't like it very much. Like I said before, it's all about her not feeling very well... aches and pains.
I try to massage her, I try to be romantic. She doesn't like it very much. Like I said before, it's all about her not feeling very well... aches and pains.
So, are you going to run the MAP? Or, are you going to start two new threads every day to complain about your wife not finding you sexually attractive? One of those options will improve your life. One will not.
What exactly do you mean, "run the map?" This question is kind of a question in and of itself. I tried continuing on the other thread about sex and hardly anyone responded. What exactly do you want me to do? I am sorry I don't fit into your way of doing things.
If a man is on the big side certain positions can hurt for a woman however, like there is with a smaller man there are positions for bigger men that make it more pleasurable and less painful. any position that encourages a deep penetration is probably too much. Plenty of lubrication helps as well as does starting off slowly.
Are all lubricants created equal? We use one but sometimes she still is hurting afterwards. I find the best thing is giving her oral sex for a while. That seems to always work.
personally I haven't found much of a difference between lubricants, although I will say having an orgasm before penetration did make it easier to have sex. But after a week or so with no sexual activity, it can hurt slightly the first time. Not by much its just about the stretching of the muscles inside
Since she is going through menopause, her sex drive is almost non existent. You will have to relieve yourself and often, since you have a high sex drive. Get to know how your body really works and then you can climax slow or fast. The only reason she wants to you to climax quickly is her sex drive is gone from the menopause. Tough the menopause out and then go to a Dr with her afterwards and see what can be done.
Most women say its not the size, its the motion of the ocean but in the end, size does matter and bigger is usually better.
I do think it belongs in SiM because lack of sex is what drives a husband to seek understanding. Just that they argue more often, or with more emotional impact that leaves him scratching his head probably won't drive him to seek info.
...Or that could be just me projecting onto all husbands...
Sounds like you may have married Mrs. Right. Next time perhaps be sure her first name is not Always.
Porn stars practice using a method to make themselves climax and everything else allows them to wait. (BTW it's wit not weight) Maybe some of these techniques would work for you to allow you to climax virtually on command using methods like they use. Try positions because for some guys certain positions cause faster climax.
Also why must YOU wait for her? There are times I want sex and my wife and I understand we are entitled to it. So when I want it I (if things like kids and life permit) just take it and have sex. She has learned to tell me I am not going to have one today so just do what you need or she just comes along for the experience and we have great sex.
Either way communication is key and you need to express yourself. But married partners agreed to care for each others NEEDS (warning sex 8 times a day is not a need nor is it everyday a need). But you are entitled to sexual gratification in your marriage. This is not the same as rape because yes a husband can still rape his wife. But an open honest marriage where both parties NEEDS are being meet is important. maybe your wife will be like mine and just say take what you need when you need it.
PS Remember sex like and oven. You have to warm it up before use.
Try this exercise, complete the following sentences by yourself.
In terms of sex and intimacy, what I would like from my partner is _____.
One way I have made it difficult for him or her to give this to me is ____.
One way I could make it easier for him or her to give this to me is to ____.
Once you complete the exercise, do not talk about it and do not share your answers. Instead, go right to the heart of the matter: Quit doing number 2. Start doing number 3! Show appreciation. Watch for any form of number 1, and when you see it, acknowledge it in a loving manner.
Take from How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Steven Stosny Patricia Edd Love
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