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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm so frustrated. I want to please my wife sexually. That means not taking forever to climax. So, I am trying to eliminate things in my life so that I will climax faster for her when we do have sex, which is not too often. I think you get my drift on what I am giving up. :confused:

Anyway, I am walking around this morning dying inside. I want to release myself so bad but I am not so I can climax faster for my wife, if and when we do have sex!! But I know I am going to have to freaking weight when she is good and ready to have sex with me. This seems so unfair!!!
 

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What would happen if you told her exactly this? Anything?

I think its crazy that pleasing her sexually involves it not lasting very long. It has been a real eye opener coming to this board and reading about the suffering so many are going through. I have my own issues to work through but cant imagine treating my husband like this!

Sorry you are going through this.
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
What would happen if you told her exactly this? Anything?

I think its crazy that pleasing her sexually involves it not lasting very long. It has been a real eye opener coming to this board and reading about the suffering so many are going through. I have my own issues to work through but cant imagine treating my husband like this!

Sorry you are going through this.
Thank you. It's BS! She is going through Menopause. I'm taking her to the doctor. I don't care what she says. I have a strong sex drive. She didn't complain before we were married! And get this. SHE SAYS I'M TOO BIG!!! I THOUGHT WOMAN LIKED BIG MEN! AND SHE'S COMPLAINING ABOUT IT?
 

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Why not take over? Just go and in a more alpha type of way initiate?
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Why not take over? Just go and in a more alpha type of way initiate?
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What am I doing to do, force myself on her? No, I can't do that. When I do try to take over in a fun way she complains that she has a stomach ache or is not feeling well. She has an excuse for anything. It's pathetic.
 

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What am I doing to do, force myself on her? No, I can't do that. When I do try to take over in a fun way she complains that she has a stomach ache or is not feeling well. She has an excuse for anything. It's pathetic.
No I'm not saying that.

Can we please have sex, please? = not very sexy

Show up in the shower (without asking) and lather her up= sexy
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
So, are you going to run the MAP? Or, are you going to start two new threads every day to complain about your wife not finding you sexually attractive? One of those options will improve your life. One will not.
What exactly do you mean, "run the map?" This question is kind of a question in and of itself. I tried continuing on the other thread about sex and hardly anyone responded. What exactly do you want me to do? I am sorry I don't fit into your way of doing things.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
No I'm not saying that.

Can we please have sex, please? = not very sexy

Show up in the shower (without asking) and lather her up= sexy
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I try to massage her, I try to be romantic. She doesn't like it very much. Like I said before, it's all about her not feeling very well... aches and pains.
 

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If a man is on the big side certain positions can hurt for a woman however, like there is with a smaller man there are positions for bigger men that make it more pleasurable and less painful. any position that encourages a deep penetration is probably too much. Plenty of lubrication helps as well as does starting off slowly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
If a man is on the big side certain positions can hurt for a woman however, like there is with a smaller man there are positions for bigger men that make it more pleasurable and less painful. any position that encourages a deep penetration is probably too much. Plenty of lubrication helps as well as does starting off slowly.
Are all lubricants created equal? We use one but sometimes she still is hurting afterwards. I find the best thing is giving her oral sex for a while. That seems to always work.

Not romantic, try being more manly, bad boy attuditued
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Good point.
 

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personally I haven't found much of a difference between lubricants, although I will say having an orgasm before penetration did make it easier to have sex. But after a week or so with no sexual activity, it can hurt slightly the first time. Not by much its just about the stretching of the muscles inside
 

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A too large man that can last a while - definitely sounds like an Uptown Problem!
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Has no one pointed you in the direction of these books?
His Needs Her Needs
5 Love Languages
Married Man's Sex Life Primer
No More Mr. Nice Guy

Or the associated web sites for those books?
Marriage Builders ® - Successful Marriage Advice
Home | The 5 Love Languages®
No More Mr. Nice Guy
Www.marriedmasexlife.com

You have much learning to do grasshopper...
I do have the book No More Mr. Nice Guy. I have to finish that book. I should look into the others too.
 

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Yes we have,

Maybe "she comes first and he comes next, books?
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A husband can never go wrong with that one... :)
Menopause certainly plays a role in all this too. Intercourse that once was perfect is now painful, vaginal dryness, mood swings, loss of libido, trouble orgasming, hot flashes, moments of anxiety or anger... I just did a quick search for a husbands guide to menopause and found nothing I would recommend. Perhaps that should be Athol Kay's next book?
 
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