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Curious about everyone’s relationship with their mother in law. You hear all the horror stories and the stereotypes about them and I guess I’m wondering how true they are. My mother in law is an amazing wife and mom and always enjoy our time together. I feel we are almost as close as me and my mom. How is your relationship?
 

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Curious about everyone’s relationship with their mother in law. You hear all the horror stories and the stereotypes about them and I guess I’m wondering how true they are. My mother in law is an amazing wife and mom and always enjoy our time together. I feel we are almost as close as me and my mom. How is your relationship?
My future mil lives less than fifteen minutes away.She hasn’t spoken to my fiancée or me in about eighteen months and we have a fifteen month old daughter that she has never laid eyes on.
To put things into perspective she has three other daughters,two living at home,who all are employed by me.
 

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My MIL was fantastic to me and a supporter of my marriage to her daughter. Wonderful woman. Sadly she passed at age 50.
 

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My MIL said my cooking was making her sick. So, please stop cooking for her. 🤣 Best thing ever.

Also, she said if she has a daughter, her daughter would take better care of her and show her more TLC.

Someone told.me she forgot when her daughter was alive she could barely stand my MIL.
 

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I'd rather wrestle a rabid grizzly bear than get within a thousand miles of my MIL.

Guess that about sums it up. And, oh yeah, she has 666 stamped on her forehead. Just sayin' ....
 

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My MIL expects us DIL's to kiss the ground she walks on. She's a nice woman on the outside but very protective of her sons. She believes she raised perfect children and they can't do no wrong so you best not say anything to her because she's super sensitive. Everything is rainbows and sunshine..
 

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all I will say about my X-MIL was how different I thought her daughter was from her. Then at the end, I recognized how much her daughter actually WAS like here. no wonder I am divorced.
 

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My mil is a bit of a butter however she loves me like no other.

When I'm down on business trips, she cooks me meals and provide accomodation if need be

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My mother-in-law has a very good heart and is the kind of person who will always be there for you. She is also a very opinionated, expressive, sassy, and strong-willed person just like the rest of my husband's side of the family, lol. Even though she has been overbearing at times I have always had a good relationship with her while my sister-in-law did not. This was mainly because my sister in law is very soft-spoken and timid and found it difficult to set boundaries. I have heard some true "horror" stories. I think a lot of them can be prevented by communicating well and setting boundaries early on. I think it is also important to be slow to anger and or take offense.
 

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I've always had a good relationship with my MIL. We weren't extremely close for the first few years that H and I were together, but I always liked her and enjoyed spending time with her.

H and I got pregnant by surprise before our wedding. We both wanted kids...just didn't necessarily want them that soon, and I was scared and overwhelmed. I graduated from college and one week later found out I was pregnant. My parents were not happy for us. His mom became my rock. She was never anything but blissfully happy to be having a grandchild and she helped me feel that it was going to be OK. My own mom kind of left me out in the cold and that was quite a shock. After we had our son (and subsequently got pregnant again 4 weeks later!) his mom was like a ray of light in my life. She was the ONLY person besides H who helped me to learn how to be a mom. She was so happy for us that it helped me to feel happy, instead of unsure about myself. To this day she is basically a second mom to both of my kids and I am forever grateful to have her in our lives.

Before my experience with her I had never had someone take me under their wing like that and make me feel like I was able to conquer the world. It really made a big difference at a time when I was really vulnerable and I so appreciated it and still do.

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My MIL expects us DIL's to kiss the ground she walks on. She's a nice woman on the outside but very protective of her sons. She believes she raised perfect children and they can't do no wrong so you best not say anything to her because she's super sensitive. Everything is rainbows and sunshine..
Sounds like my MiL.

She was a freaking ***** early on but has slowly gotten better. I guess she slowly figured after 16+ years now Im not going anywhere and mightbe able to be considered family. Still a bit of that Im an outsider feeling though.
 

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I think crazy mothers were one of the first things that really brought my husband and I together.

We both had extremely difficult mothers who suffered from mental illness.... So we got it, we understood each other.

It was also one of the many reasons we delayed marriage, and eventually eloped in Vegas rather than having a wedding - we couldn't imagine putting those two in a room together without it turning into a huge mess.

She.... She can be extremely nasty, I was "that girl" for many years. But she has also thanked me for loving her son.

In the end, she isn't mentally healthy, and I just let what she says roll like water off a ducks back. But it took a while to get to that place. Especially after I understood how much she had damaged the man I love. For a while there, I really wished she was no longer on this earth, no longer hurting people.
 

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I think crazy mothers were one of the first things that really brought my husband and I together.

We both had extremely difficult mothers who suffered from mental illness.... So we got it, we understood each other.

It was also one of the many reasons we delayed marriage, and eventually eloped in Vegas rather than having a wedding - we couldn't imagine putting those two in a room together without it turning into a huge mess.

She.... She can be extremely nasty, I was "that girl" for many years. But she has also thanked me for loving her son.

In the end, she isn't mentally healthy, and I just let what she says roll like water off a ducks back. But it took a while to get to that place. Especially after I understood how much she had damaged the man I love. For a while there, I really wished she was no longer on this earth, no longer hurting people.
Understand and relate to pretty much all of this.
 

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I can count on one hand people I can't get along with.

My first MIL was very sweet and kind, no issues in over 20 years.

My current MIL is kind of the combo of all those described above oddly enough. The first couple of years we were so EXTREMELY close and she was a rock and shelter for me during some super difficult things. I felt I couldn't love her more if she was my own blood.

Then, one day, my BIL (her only other child), who I also never had anything but a good relationship with, had too much to drink, as he does most days. Then he became combatitive, like he does most days, but this time he happened to be having a meaningless historical conversation with me. When he said something that was so blatantly absurd, and I said "let's look it up", he cursed me out, and screamed at me for about 10 minutes, telling me how stupid and uneducated I was, then to top it off he decided to refer to me as "that whack job you married" to my husband (his brother). My husband then of course stuck up for me and we got away from him.

I was surprised and hurt, but I refuse to gossip. I never said a word to my MIL. It had nothing to do with her anyway, right? Yet, a couple of days later we (H) got a phone call from her and she was going berserk about me "attacking her son and shoving my opinion down his throat". This went on for weeks on the phone and in person. BAD. She said such heinous things to me and about me, just volumes worth. All based on her alcoholic son attacking ME. She never inquired about my side of the story, or acknowledged the things he said and did. She just said she would always side with her kids, and she did. This is when I learned that no matter what, I will always be the outlaw (inlaw). Important lesson to learn.

Time has gone by, a massively unsincere apology sort of happened, but unrepairable damage was done. I miss her, who I thought she was. I had to come to terms that if she didn't think enough of me to even care to hear my side, or to consider that her son that gets drunk every day of his life and picks fights with whoever is near...just might have had a little fault in what happened, she didn't really love me "like a daughter" as she claimed. Since then, her real self has come out almost every time we see her. Tons of snarky comments, backhanded digs, several more attacks and an amazing amount of jealousy over the success her son and I have in our lives. I still can't understand any of it. It still hurts, even though I wish I could say it doesn't. I miss who I thought she was. For a while, I stayed away from her at all costs. Now, for the sake of my husband, I tolerate her briefly, in short doses, which is all he can handle too. We no longer do things alone, just her and I. We don't visit on the phone. I don't invite them over. I put zero effort and emotion into her anymore, becasue frankly it still hurts too much. I am super family oriented, and so sad to have lost this relationship. It didn't need to be this way, and I wish it wasn't. My BIL is oblivious, and talks bad about her often. She chose the wrong side of this issue, and lost someone who truly did have her back. These were her choices, and I can't do anything about that. I'm not doormat material, so I just have to move on.

OP, I'm happy you have what you have and I hope it stays that way. I want to be a wonderful MIL some day too!
 

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Mine was great while her son and I were dating, but a switch flipped when we became engaged. Things got worse after we got married; she called my family members names, put me down constantly, and pretty much just made me feel like I was the scum of the earth. To boot, hubs never stood up for me and always made excuses for his Mom. Now that we're on our way to being divorced, I haven't spoken to my former MIL in over a year, and couldn't be happier!
 

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She just said she would always side with her kids, and she did. This is when I learned that no matter what, I will always be the outlaw (inlaw). Important lesson to learn.
!
Hard lesson to learn though.

But for some people, my MiL included, SiLs and DiLs are ALWAYS outsiders. They've dug their foxhole and have their kids in there with them. Everyone else is somehow the enemy. FOREVER.
 
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