Talk About Marriage banner
1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband and I have been married for 23 years and have always had an ehhh sex life. It’s always the same thing and no fun / adventure.

I’d love some suggestions to incorporate playful moments or fun into our sex life.
thanks!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,217 Posts
Step 1: Download from the internet a "yes/no/maybe list"
Step 2: Without looking at how the other answers the questions each of you fill out the list
Step 3: Exchange lists and give each other some space to think about and research things you or your spouse have listed as yes or maybe that you have not done.
Step 4: Go over your answers and discuss each entry and come up with a list of "new" things to the two of your that you might try.
Step 5: Agree on an implementation Schedule for the new items. (One new item a week? a Month? etc.) Also figure out how a new item will be put in the schedule. A random draw? A you each get to alternate a pick?
Step 6. Agree on a "safe word" and start.

Alternate;
Get a book on erotic massage and practice on each other.

Good luck.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
Step 1: Download from the internet a "yes/no/maybe list"
Step 2: Without looking at how the other answers the questions each of you fill out the list
Step 3: Exchange lists and give each other some space to think about and research things you or your spouse have listed as yes or maybe that you have not done.
Step 4: Go over your answers and discuss each entry and come up with a list of "new" things to the two of your that you might try.
Step 5: Agree on an implementation Schedule for the new items. (One new item a week? a Month? etc.) Also figure out how a new item will be put in the schedule. A random draw? A you each get to alternate a pick?
Step 6. Agree on a "safe word" and start.

Alternate;
Get a book on erotic massage and practice on each other.

Good luck.
Wow, these are awesome tips! Thank you!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,425 Posts
Step 1: Download from the internet a "yes/no/maybe list"
Step 2: Without looking at how the other answers the questions each of you fill out the list
Step 3: Exchange lists and give each other some space to think about and research things you or your spouse have listed as yes or maybe that you have not done.
Step 4: Go over your answers and discuss each entry and come up with a list of "new" things to the two of your that you might try.
Step 5: Agree on an implementation Schedule for the new items. (One new item a week? a Month? etc.) Also figure out how a new item will be put in the schedule. A random draw? A you each get to alternate a pick?
Step 6. Agree on a "safe word" and start.

Alternate;
Get a book on erotic massage and practice on each other.

Good luck.
This. I recommend that you find one that has places for both experience with and desire for the different activities. I have one that I have modified over the years to be more in line with what I think is a more comprehensive list and rating system, if you're interested in it.

There is also a book called 101 Nights Of Great Sex, which I don't think is published anymore, but I think intact used copies are available.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,782 Posts
mojoupgrade is another good site to come up with ideas.

Also make an agreement that either of you can ask for ANYTHING you want, and the other is always free to say "no" but never free to be disturbed by , or to mock their partner's desires.

Agree that its OK if you try things and they turn out not to be fun - that will happen sometimes.

Talk about the hottest sex scenes you have seen in movies.

have fun!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
119 Posts
Think back to the stuff you did in the bedroom when you first met and do that. Also most men love to be in charge in the bedroom. Let him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
57 Posts
Thought I'd report back.

The weshouldtryit site's idea was great but functionally it was disappointing to say the least. But we did wind up talking about a couple of the answers, mostly reinforcement of what we already knew but hadn't discussed or practiced in a while. That always results in good things. So I guess we made a bit of lemonade out of this lemon.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,425 Posts
Thought I'd report back.

The weshouldtryit site's idea was great but functionally it was disappointing to say the least. But we did wind up talking about a couple of the answers, mostly reinforcement of what we already knew but hadn't discussed or practiced in a while. That always results in good things. So I guess we made a bit of lemonade out of this lemon.
There still plenty of others out there. I still have mine as a Word doc, if you want it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,217 Posts
There still plenty of others out there. I still have mine as a Word doc, if you want it.
I agree, that downloading one that can be modified for your own particular desires or absolute boundaries is a great way to go.

There is also one that I have seen that is a little too basic. (Scarlet teen) It was geared toward underage couples who don't want to be charged with sex crimes. Everything is would you consent to having your partner hug you without first asking.....would you consent to allowing your partner to touch your breast without first asking. In a committed sexual relationship some of the lists out there are just not appropriate. However, for a couple of horny teens, they may be totally appropriate.

There are some lists geared for all kinds of situations, but I agree, a person should really customize it to make sure that their own particular fantasies get covered.

Some advice for those who (unlike you) have never gone one of the lists.

Askmen Yes No Maybe list advice
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,425 Posts
I agree, that downloading one that can be modified for your own particular desires or absolute boundaries is a great way to go.

There is also one that I have seen that is a little too basic. (Scarlet teen) It was geared toward underage couples who don't want to be charged with sex crimes. Everything is would you consent to having your partner hug you without first asking.....would you consent to allowing your partner to touch your breast without first asking. In a committed sexual relationship some of the lists out there are just not appropriate. However, for a couple of horny teens, they may be totally appropriate.

There are some lists geared for all kinds of situations, but I agree, a person should really customize it to make sure that their own particular fantasies get covered.

Some advice for those who (unlike you) have never gone one of the lists.

Askmen Yes No Maybe list advice
In my case I modified the checklist to be more comprehensive, and specific, as well as improve the rating system, so that I could give it to others as well. There is a lot on that list, that are part of my hard limits. A lot of what I did was split out a lot of things into giving and receiving. For example, some might like receiving oral sex, but not like giving it, or vice versa.
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top