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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all!

Had a guys-night-out last night with 3 friends. Two of them are single and the other one is married. All were very concerned about my divorce and how it basically came “out of nowhere.” Although I wanted to spend ZERO time talking about it, they kept asking questions about the circumstances so I basically told them everything. What was really revealing is that one of the single guys and the married dude have a girlfriend/wife that is in constant contact with coworkers of the opposite sex. The married dude even mentioned that sometimes his wife comes home and heads straight for the shower (he says she blames COVID-LOL) and goes to work wearing Victoria Secrets’ thongs. In a nutshell, I saw red flags everywhere. So, being that they are my friends and I do not want them to go through the same sh-t I did, I gave them a guideline as to what to do (obviously told them to check out TAM so that they could see I wan’t bluffing).

I basically told them that they ought to monitor their SO even if all is ok. I suggested they monitor their 1) texting/calls, 2) their internet activity (facebook+instagram included), 3) their social interactions, 4) their traveling and 5) their nights out. I also told them to do this right after their nights out or after they noticed a subtle change in behavior or if they see their SO deleting texts.

Was I out of line? Did I miss anything? Doing some preventive monitoring isn’t going to kill their SO.
 

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Hi all!

Had a guys-night-out last night with 3 friends. Two of them are single and the other one is married. All were very concerned about my divorce and how it basically came “out of nowhere.” Although I wanted to spend ZERO time talking about it, they kept asking questions about the circumstances so I basically told them everything. What was really revealing is that one of the single guys and the married dude have a girlfriend/wife that is in constant contact with coworkers of the opposite sex. The married dude even mentioned that sometimes his wife comes home and heads straight for the shower (he says she blames COVID-LOL) and goes to work wearing Victoria Secrets’ thongs. In a nutshell, I saw red flags everywhere. So, being that they are my friends and I do not want them to go through the same sh-t I did, I gave them a guideline as to what to do (obviously told them to check out TAM so that they could see I wan’t bluffing).

Don't think you are being out of line at all. Preventative measures are better than sticking one's head in the sand.

I basically told them that they ought to monitor their SO even if all is ok. I suggested they monitor their 1) texting/calls, 2) their internet activity (facebook+instagram included), 3) their social interactions, 4) their traveling and 5) their nights out. I also told them to do this right after their nights out or after they noticed a subtle change in behavior or if they see their SO deleting texts.

Was I out of line? Did I miss anything? Doing some preventive monitoring isn’t going to kill their SO.
Don't think you are being out of line at all. Preventative measures are better than sticking one's head in the sand.
 

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Hi all!

Had a guys-night-out last night with 3 friends. Two of them are single and the other one is married. All were very concerned about my divorce and how it basically came “out of nowhere.” Although I wanted to spend ZERO time talking about it, they kept asking questions about the circumstances so I basically told them everything. What was really revealing is that one of the single guys and the married dude have a girlfriend/wife that is in constant contact with coworkers of the opposite sex. The married dude even mentioned that sometimes his wife comes home and heads straight for the shower (he says she blames COVID-LOL) and goes to work wearing Victoria Secrets’ thongs. In a nutshell, I saw red flags everywhere. So, being that they are my friends and I do not want them to go through the same sh-t I did, I gave them a guideline as to what to do (obviously told them to check out TAM so that they could see I wan’t bluffing).

I basically told them that they ought to monitor their SO even if all is ok. I suggested they monitor their 1) texting/calls, 2) their internet activity (facebook+instagram included), 3) their social interactions, 4) their traveling and 5) their nights out. I also told them to do this right after their nights out or after they noticed a subtle change in behavior or if they see their SO deleting texts.

Was I out of line? Did I miss anything? Doing some preventive monitoring isn’t going to kill their SO.
Victoria's Secret to work?

Paleeeezze.

It isn't bad to help people be aware. It's also good if solid relationship building advice is also shared between friends.
 

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The married dude even mentioned that sometimes his wife comes home and heads straight for the shower (he says she blames COVID-LOL) and goes to work wearing Victoria Secrets’ thongs.
Oh boy. This guy is going to have the rug yanked right out from underneath him.

Since she's so "afraid" of Covid, is she wearing a mask every single day to work for 8 hours straight? Or is she just immediately coming home and showering in order to get the make-believe Covid germs off her arms and legs? 🤪

Sadly, your friend is in for a rude awakening. A very rude awakening.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Oh boy. This guy is going to have the rug yanked right out from underneath him.

Since she's so "afraid" of Covid, is she wearing a mask every single day to work for 8 hours straight? Or is she just immediately coming home and showering in order to get the make-believe Covid germs off her arms and legs? 🤪

Sadly, your friend is in for a rude awakening. A very rude awakening.
Well, supposedly he’s caught her lying before. According to him she would tell him that she was going to the local Whole Foods to get the groceries for the week and that it was going to take her “a while.” All of a sudden HE would get a phone call from the Whole Foods to let him know that his order was ready for pickup (meaning she was somewhere else). Or that she was going to TJ Max to get an article of clothing he’d already seen hidden in the back of the closet.

The main issue is that us guys NEVER talk about this kind of stuff. He’s most likely too late as is, although I didn’t have the heart to tell him. He’s going to have a fire pit get together soon, so I’ll know if he took my advise and, if so, if he found out his wife is cheating on him. Once I know that I’ll let him know what to do next (shut up and hit the record button so he can get a much better divorce outcome).
 

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Well, supposedly he’s caught her lying before. According to him she would tell him that she was going to the local Whole Foods to get the groceries for the week and that it was going to take her “a while.” All of a sudden HE would get a phone call from the Whole Foods to let him know that his order was ready for pickup (meaning she was somewhere else). Or that she was going to TJ Max to get an article of clothing he’d already seen hidden in the back of the closet.

The main issue is that us guys NEVER talk about this kind of stuff. He’s most likely too late as is, although I didn’t have the heart to tell him. He’s going to have a fire pit get together soon, so I’ll know if he took my advise and, if so, if he found out his wife is cheating on him. Once I know that I’ll let him know what to do next (shut up and hit the record button so he can get a much better divorce outcome).
There must be a lot of guys just ignoring red flags?

That wife would have been nexted by this barbarian over lies and trying to hide outfits. It wouldn't have gotten to the Victoria's Secret thong to work.🙄
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
So women can’t wear the underwear they want? I’ve never wore a thong and never will , you do know some women have always like things like some men like boxers. So now women who prefer thongs are cheaters? Seriously? Come on. You spy on your wife’s clothing? Monitor what she wears? WTH???
A Victoria Secrets’ thong?

No.

Only the husband is supposed to see that.
 

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What a Walmart thong is preferable? I know women who would never cheat ( and yes I do know that) who only buy VS because they get the stuff cheap with rewards. I know people who shop cheap stores and have no morals. So perceived stigma indicates cheating? Should she wear granny undies to work and pass inspection? What’s this woman’s job? I think you are looking for cheating everywhere. I don’t think your wife was being subtle hanging out with people that said they all cheat. If people have to go through inspection and tracking. It’s already over. I’d also like to know if the husbands are as virtuous as they demand of their wives.
 

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So women can’t wear the underwear they want?
Damn right she can't. Victoria's secret is marketed and purchased as sex wear.

If my wife wants to wear sex wear for others, she can let the door hit her in the ass on her way out.

Don't ignore the lies and hiding crap either. That's a juvenile stance and argument.

If you want to be married to a lying man that hides things from you and exhibits sexy behavior towards others, go for it and we won't think you're a hypocrite.

We won't think your very bright but not a hypocrite.😋
 

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Where did I say I want a man hiding stuff? I said I don’t wear thongs. I also said vs is not just sex wear. You do know slot of their stuff is functional right? Fwiw I’ve never bought a thing from vs but I do know people who have that aren’t trash and don’t cheat.
 

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Where did I say I want a man hiding stuff? I said I don’t wear thongs. I also said vs is not just sex wear. You do know slot of their stuff is functional right? Fwiw I’ve never bought a thing from vs but I do know people who have that aren’t trash and don’t cheat.
You are ignoring the details you don't want to acknowledge about the woman in question and trying to make a false argument about women's choices in work undergarments.

No one said that women who buy VS are trash or cheaters. That's you making things up.

The woman in question is definitely behaving trashy and showing definite red flags of cheating.
 

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So women can’t wear the underwear they want? I’ve never wore a thong and never will , you do know some women have always like things like some men like boxers. So now women who prefer thongs are cheaters? Seriously? Come on. You spy on your wife’s clothing? Monitor what she wears? WTH???
The difference to me would be is she wearing that stuff only to work, or is she wearing it on her days off/for me as well. And if she is only wearing it to work, why? Is because she wears pants that would show underwear lines and at home she doesn't care? Sometimes you have to be realistic, and sometimes undergarments are a red flag.

Like said by Conan "The woman in question is definitely behaving trashy and showing definite red flags of cheating." So for HER, yeah, the thongs to work IS a red flag.
 
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