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hi,
Living with my boy friend for the past 2 years....our sex life is really exciting and active!
But now he wants to try something new....like a threesome wt another guy/female....
I'm completely excited and I just want a '"trustable" person in our bed...!!
He says if its a guy....I cant cuddle/kiss him..do nothin very intimate or personal....tat might both give the other guy a wrong signal....as well hurt my BF......it might be just physical....Though his intentions are clear....not sure if tats even possible!!!

Can anyone help me out here?? just wanna opinion abt how these threesomes work on an emotional level.....??!?!?
 

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just wanna opinion abt how these threesomes work on an emotional level.....??!?!?
THEY DON'T. You will regret doing this for the rest of your life if you follow through with it. Something like 95% of couples who engage in threesomes end up splitting up.
 

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hey if you have no long term plans on staying with your bf then go ahead and cross it off your bucket list (but the reality isnt going to be as fun as the fantasy), but ultimately this comes back to haunt you and usually sooner than later. The risk vs reward is not worth it imo.

some fantasies are better left as fantasies
 

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Do a search on here, lots of discussion about it in several threads. Basically most people who did it made sure it was with a partner into they were not serious about.... Once they found someone special, they might fantasize, but would not share.
 

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hey if you have no long term plans on staying with your bf then go ahead and cross it off your bucket list (but the reality isnt going to be as fun as the fantasy), but ultimately this comes back to haunt you and usually sooner than later. The risk vs reward is not worth it imo.

some fantasies are better left as fantasies
I don't even like it as a bucket list item. Her eventual husband, if he finds out about it, will wonder why she was so adventurous with this guy but not with him. Going through with this will be a defining moment for her and not in a good way. It's not something you can take back.
 

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My GF and I have done an MMF threesome, and a pseudo-MFF (started as a foursome, other guy didn't contribute). My thoughts on it...

It can work, with the right people. But it can also go very very wrong. The most important aspects of success, I think, are trust and VERY open communication.

My GF had an MMF prior to knowing me, and I don't think anything less of her because of it. But that's just my personal opinion.

When picking a partner to include, I'd think twice about picking someone close to either of you. For us, picking someone that isn't a "risk" to either of us is preferred. Like, someone out of town. It reduces the risk of that person thinking "Hey, I enjoyed having sex with one of those people, I should see if they're free again on Friday". As well, if things don't go so well, it means you don't have to sit down and look at them over the table next time the gang goes out for dinner.

To be honest, though... It sounds like your BF has a number of insecurities that would make me think it's best left as a fantasy.

Just my random thoughts on the situation...

C
 

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Best kept for single people; the only times I even came close to doing anything of the sort, I was 100% unattached. Even then, I never went through with anything hard, stayed on the soft side.
 

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My GF had an MMF prior to knowing me, and I don't think anything less of her because of it. But that's just my personal opinion.
Not what I was talking about. If she had done it before, and said to you that she had done it before but would NOT do it with you, would you still feel the same? I mean, in your situation she had done it before and was also willing to do it with you. Of course a lot of men would probably be ok with it. But I think the odds are pretty good that a lot of men would not be ok with it. Perhaps not a big deal in the first few years, but 20 years down the line the fact that she was willing with another man and not with you COULD be something that gnaws at you.
 

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Not what I was talking about. If she had done it before, and said to you that she had done it before but would NOT do it with you, would you still feel the same? I mean, in your situation she had done it before and was also willing to do it with you. Of course a lot of men would probably be ok with it. But I think the odds are pretty good that a lot of men would not be ok with it. Perhaps not a big deal in the first few years, but 20 years down the line the fact that she was willing with another man and not with you COULD be something that gnaws at you.
Sure, there's "could's" and "perhaps" out the yin-yang. Maybe the next woman I think I'd like to live with won't want to be with me because I've been snipped, or because I've had a previous lover, or I've been to a sex club. But I'm comfortable with who I am, and what I've done in the past is done and I can't change it anyway. If a prospective partner can't get over that, screw them. That's their issue, not mine. And to be honest, if they're that fixated on what's "right" or "wrong" sexually that they can't accept what I've done, we're probably not a match anyway.

In other words, I'm going to live my life the way I want to, and not try to limit myself based on possible futures. I sacrificed enough of my "prime" sexual years with someone that didn't want/enjoy sex, at least with me. I'm not willing to do that for whatever sexual years I have left.

But to each their own... Your mileage may vary, product may not be the same as shown on the box, etc...

C
 

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I cant cuddle/kiss him..do nothin very intimate or personal
So what is your boyfriend going to do with him?

I think somebody better do something personal with him, or he is going to wonder why he is there.:scratchhead:


Seriously though ..... bad idea if you are thinking of this boyfriend as long term.
 

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I would have no problem doing something like this in the past, but could never even think about it with my wife. If the OP is either just dating for fun or fine with an open type relationship, then go for it. But if you ever want to get serious with this guy, then bringing a third person into the bed (especially another guy) would be a long-term detriment.
 

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He says if its a guy....I cant cuddle/kiss him..do nothin very intimate or personal....tat might both give the other guy a wrong signal....as well hurt my BF......it might be just physical....
Your BF doesn't want another man to kiss you or hug you, but he doesn't mind if he bends you over and plows away? Seriously?

I have never done a threesome, and doubt I ever could. But if I did, it would definitely be a last hurrah for a girl I didn't care about. I'm just a typical man who is territorial about the woman he cares about.
 

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In the last year, my W has told me about the threesome she encountered with a couple (I guess that's a FFM?) in her college years.... and then during the same period of time, she mentioned the MMF that she personally encouraged and more or less facilitated. There's more... but for brevity's sake I'll stop here.

Although I did learn some things, and those talks helped close the huge gap in our understanding of each other... I still would rather not have heard a single word about of any of it. You just can't 'unhear' things like that. =)
 

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Whatever floats yours and your bf's boat so to speak but please do understand that's there's always consequences to everything. What if you we're to experiment with another guy and though no kissing allowed ...... you moaned too much or too loud while with the other guy and this makes him jealous ???

Sooo many different factors can go wrong thus sometimes keeping this a fantasy to " fuel or spice " up the intamcy may be best IMHO !?
 

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i agree with samsad , in my opinion this is a direct message your bf is not even near ready for it,, either selfish or too conservative and both are bad :(
 
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