DH and I have been married 18 years. I am the saver (always have been). He is the spender (always has been).
Over the years, DH has curbed his spending habits. This is good!
But at his core, he is still a spender. Every time we do NOT spend (or buy, or purchase, or order) - he gets upset and feels deprived.
Yes, he can see the big picture when I sit down and show it to him. Yes - he can agree in theory that we really do need to put money toward future goals.
But in practice? There is a lot of *****in' and moaning about "sacrifices" and how he "never gets to...".
I don't know what to do any more. I have learned over the years that there will NEVER be enough money to satisfy all the things he wants. It does not matter WHAT we spend - he is always looking for the next thing.
It's extrememly frustrating. And, of course, he is extremely frustrated with me.
Will this ever get any better?
Does anyone else have a "mixed-marriage" that has improved?
Or do these relationships always go south?
Over the years, DH has curbed his spending habits. This is good!
But at his core, he is still a spender. Every time we do NOT spend (or buy, or purchase, or order) - he gets upset and feels deprived.
Yes, he can see the big picture when I sit down and show it to him. Yes - he can agree in theory that we really do need to put money toward future goals.
But in practice? There is a lot of *****in' and moaning about "sacrifices" and how he "never gets to...".
I don't know what to do any more. I have learned over the years that there will NEVER be enough money to satisfy all the things he wants. It does not matter WHAT we spend - he is always looking for the next thing.
It's extrememly frustrating. And, of course, he is extremely frustrated with me.
Will this ever get any better?
Does anyone else have a "mixed-marriage" that has improved?
Or do these relationships always go south?