[brokenbythis]

Its been 2 wks since he left. At first I cried all night and all day, then we had lunch and talked (I now regret that) and we've been to 2 counselling sessions since then.

I have mixed emotions at this stage. I am disappointed in his throwing away our marriage. I am disgusted in his behaviour. I am angry he is putting our child through this.

He blames everything on me of course, thinks he has been the perfect husband. He is so blind to his actions. I have been alone in this marriage for YEARS. He has had his little EA's with ex girlfriends and I think a PA years ago on a business trip. When I confronted him about the EA he accused me of trying to control his life and isolate him from his friends. When I confronted him about the PA he flatly denied it. He has ignored me. He has not cared about my feelings. and the list goes on and on.

I am starting to think he's going through a Mid Life Crisis. He's been exercising and dieting like crazy, and today he informs me he is getting lipo done on his stomach.... I said to him "feel free to just go and spend OUR money as you please". His response was "I see you have not changed"... I am not allowed to say anything to him.

I don't even want to see him anymore. He is staying at his brother's house - I have no idea what his plans are. He comes over and hangs out and plays with our child.

I feel uncomfortable having him in the house. He treats me very business like, polite but cold. I just want him gone until 1/ He comes to his senses and comes home and totally recommits to working on our marriage, and us. or 2/ He just files for divorce.

 

[Lostouthere]

Dont let him put all the blame on you! He is the one who chose to do this stuff. Im in the same situation with my wife and it sucks she blames me for everything but Im not the one that ever messed around period!

 

[brokenbythis]

I am tiring very quickly of his childish antics. When he called to say goodnight to our child, he informed me he was busy because he's out tonight partying with his (divorced) buddies.

I am struggling with the fact someone can walk away from 12 yrs and a baby as easy as this.

Makes me wonder what sort of person I married.... took 12 yrs for the real him to come out.

 

[Catherine602]

Don't let him in the house. Let him pick up the baby and go to his brothers house. Talk only business with him your child and his responsibility. Communicate with him as little as possible. Dry your tears in front of him be polite and friendly. It's hard but begging and being sad and needy will not get him back. You have to take the attitude that you are willing to let him go.

You were married for 12 years? Really. Was that a marriage? Why do you want such a man back?
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[brokenbythis]

Believe me, after day 1 and me crying, he is now not seeing my emotions. I have done the 180 and:

I do not cry or look sad in his presence
I am friendly and polite
I do not contact him
I do not invite him around
I do my own thing on my own time
I do not talk about "us" in any manner, shape or form
I do not ask him anything about his life

Yes I feel I have put up with a lot from him, as well as so much emotional neglect over so long. In the past when I asked him to come watch a dvd with me on the couch, or be home in time for dinner (I am the only one who cooks) he has given me the "you are trying to isolate me from my friends" or "you are controlling my life".

He is addicted to Facebook and seems to prefer those "friends" to his wife and child. Many a night I have spent watching tv alone while he is on his laptop. Over the past year I am so lonely I have just left the room and gone to our bedroom and either gone to sleep or read a book. Sad lonely life...

In my opinion he has isolated himself. I have not seen him pick up the phone and call our friends to organize an outing, for YEARS. He just facebooks them!

He blames me for everything wrong in his life. I am sick of it. The more he is away the more indifferent I am becoming. ps. All his stuff is still here.

 

[muppetsinspace]

Isn't is funny how social media is taking over people's lives? That the majority of personal interaction happen through a digital format?

And isn't this a rather "meta" statement to make in an online forum?

Being a child of the video game generation, I understand the addiction to video games. I have been addicted to them at one time or another. I've chosen to do those things instead of interact with people. Think of all the wasted time I could have put toward writing something, or talking with someone, or going out to do something. Yikes!

Some people are just lost. Emotional disconnections happen inside people. But the physical separation from interaction creates a mental separation from it's meaning, does it not? Your loser ex-husband is a prime example of that.