I am not financially independent (also qualified but 0 work experience - which will only get worse with age). I do not want a single cent from him if I divorce him.
My exwife said the same thing. Then she did the math, as you will do- and realize that zero dollars doesn't go far towards covering monthly expenses.
She turned it into a high conflict divorce and made demands that were so unreasonable we spent over $200k in legal fees over 3 years. At the end she got pretty much what I offered her.
How is it you do that exactly?
Do you have a pretend life, going out with someone you don't love, paying the bills with them? Do you have sex with him knowing what is coming up in the future? Do you lie to your kid the whole time? I really don't get this. If you have a rationale to stay that long (financial) why not work on your marriage? Obviously I don't know the details but this seems self-defeating and a waste of precious time (his too). If you don't want a cent from him, why wait?
Children, at any age, usually prefer their parents together and divorce can be a serious adjustment for them. My child was no exception. Yours may not be either.
Hi everyone!
I just joined and I am really looking forward to other people's experiences and advice.
I haven't posted my situation yet but I'll do it when I have enough time at a stretch. But in the meantime, I really wanted to know if there is anybody here who has gotten divorced after their kids moved out. What were your feelings like? How did you cope with being single at a late age (financially and otherwise)? If you were a stay-at-home mom all your kids' lives, did you manage to become financially independent? What were the positives and negatives for you?
I'm contemplating divorcing my husband once our child is well into college (in the next 10-15 years). I am not financially independent (also qualified but 0 work experience - which will only get worse with age). I do not want a single cent from him if I divorce him.
Thank you so much for reading!
Please don't wait out the next 10-15 years. Please don't. Take it from me, i did. I wish i had the self-confidence all those years ago to leave right then and there. Instead I waited 17 years and here i am - in my 50s. Don't waste time.
Your kids are better off with you divorcing now and seeing their mom happy (and feeling it) than growing up with tension that they will feel even if you think you're really good at hiding it. Kids are better off coming from a broken home than living in one. I wish i had learned that lesson so many years ago.
Good luck. Be Strong.
First thing is go get a job that will lead to a career. You will need to be able to support yourself whether you stay married or not. It will be easier before the divorce to get established. With that said as someone who stayed an extra 10 years, I say get out now. Your kids will be just fine. And if you divorce ask for as much as the law allows. Women tend to short change themselves in divorce after putting in so much. I regret not asking for what the law says I should get. Trust me. Men do not approach it that way.
I agree with what everyone is saying. Don't just sit there for another decade or two. You said you don't have skills, well go get some. You might have some already as I'm guessing you are bilingual. Build off of that.
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