Hi, I'm new here. 42, separated since October 2016, three kids, 15, 13, 11. H is 45. Common law for 21 years. October 2015 I came across an email to OW about him just wanting sex at first and then falling in love with her. I suspected something was up before this, I could hear it in his voice talking to her and I confronted him and he denied. Then I found the email and it blew up. He apologized and stopped contact and we went into MC. It was an EA for a couple months. I was devastated. He said he felt no love at home. I agreed. We had been distant for some time. We own our own business. Everything is in his name tho. I work with him. We have the three kids. Our daughter is a competitive dancer, so my time is with the kids. Working together is hard and very stressful. H is set in his ways. He likes things his way. I agreed things were bad in the relationship. But no excuse for his EA. He was talking about moving out before the summer, but he stayed. Then after one big argument, he moved out. He blames me at the moment for everything that has gone wrong in the relationship. I am in IC and my therapist, who was our therapist for MC, says that he isn't sure he knows what he wants. He never took any of his stuff out of the house. He went and bought everything for his new house. Took nothing from our house. Even tho I said he could. He even left his passport at the house. I have asked for MC again, he said no. I asked to date a week ago, he said no, he's never coming back. He said that after his EA (he won't admit it was an affair because nothing physical happened) he has realized what a relationship should be. And we don't have that ease and happiness he had with her. I agree because they had no stress of kids, finances and a business. He is not with anyone right now. A week before I asked him if he wanted to R, he text me and started talking about our past and looking for answers. I guess I wasn't giving him the answers he wanted. Because he said the conversation isn't going anywhere. My trust in him is completely gone. Hard to build up when he moves out. So after he said point blank he wasn't coming back, he was tired of the arguing, I talked to him the next day about separation agreements, and lawyers. He avoided the questions and didn't answer. So what do I do? I don't mind waiting for him. But I hate the fence sitting. One friend says that he is ust avoiding confrontation, and hopes I do all the work and he doesn't need to face it. But my other friend thinks he doesn't really want to split and don't believe his words. Just his actions. And right now his actions don't speak of splitting up. He has not once retained a lawyer, he won't sit down and talk about finances. About the splitting of assests. Nothing. I believe he is having a mid life crisis. He had the EA. He is not happy with his work or his life. He is all of a sudden concerned about his health. He tells me life is short and he just wants to be happy. he also has anxiety issues stemming from his childhood. So what do I do? Wait it out? Listen to his words, and just get a lawyer myself? Has anyone else had experiences from a mid life crisis? thanks!