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I'm happily married some would say. But I find marriage and kids to be boring AF. Nothing excites me anymore. I try to put up a good front but really I'm miserable most days. Read a lot of books on marriage, intimacy etc. All seems like common sense to me. I implement the things and seems to really work out for her. But nothing makes me happy really. Looking forward to joining the discussions
 

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A lot of men go through this after they have wrapped so much of themselves into their marriage. Most modern dads are all about their kids, their job, their wife, and their kids (yes, I said kids twice). They forget themselves. For a lot of dads, they get relief from the blahness by hanging out with guys and playing golf... where all they do is sit and talk about kids and work.

Parentdom and being a spouse can just be unbelievably dull... if you let it. All up to you if you want to take the reigns and make it fun and exciting. I suggest more stuff only for you, no kids and no wife involved. It's okay to have your dad-only time. Even if your wife tries to keep you more at home, you need to get away. Think outside the box for something super fun and interesting.
 

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Is it possible you could be depressed? Does any depression run in your family? Also, when was your last physical? What you are describing can be a symptom of low testosterone.

I'm sorry you are struggling. It stinks when everything seems to be going "right," and you still feel empty :(
 

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I've thought about hobbies, but nothing really comes to me. I'm not really good at anything. I'm really good at knowing random stuff and talking about lots of topics. I'm an extrovert for sure, but nobody is ever all that interesting anymore. Everybody is "old" and blah. Career? I make what I thought would be good money 10 years ago. I don't like my job, I'm very good at it. It's sales so my job ebbs and flows. I never let it get to me.
 

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There isn't anything that I really want to do. Hanging out with the guys has never really been my thing. A golf trip or outing to a ball game sounds boring. Did a lot of partying earlier in life. Two 8 balls, a bunch of booze, good tunes, good company and ton of taco Bell sounds like fun. But that's not healthy nor is it really even all that safe. I want thrills and excitement. When I was younger I was somewhere between Hunter S Thompson and Keith Richards in my mind. I wish I could be like other guys and develop this love of golf, MMA, gadgets, or building stuff.
 

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I'm a fantastic story teller. Tried writing but I'm just not good at putting things on paper. Nor do I feel I'm doing a story justice, if I can't gauge your reaction or tailor the story to an audience. When I was younger I wanted to do stand up. Many people have suggested I do it. But it's not natural to me. Feels like work. I'd rather be funny out of nowhere than feel like I have to be funny for you.
 

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There isn't anything that I really want to do. Hanging out with the guys has never really been my thing. A golf trip or outing to a ball game sounds boring. Did a lot of partying earlier in life. Two 8 balls, a bunch of booze, good tunes, good company and ton of taco Bell sounds like fun. But that's not healthy nor is it really even all that safe. I want thrills and excitement. When I was younger I was somewhere between Hunter S Thompson and Keith Richards in my mind. I wish I could be like other guys and develop this love of golf, MMA, gadgets, or building stuff.
Yeah, habit hobbies are not for everyone (I call them habit hobbies because you do the same thing over and over on a regular basis lol)

You say Keith Richards and Hunter S Thompson. Thrills and excitement.

Make a list:

Skydiving
Bungee
Learn an instrument (or sing) and do open mic nights
Start a YouTube channel
Map out all the Mexican places and pool halls in a 2 hours radius and rate them all lol

It doesn't have to be a regular and continuous passtime
 

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Perhaps you're bored because you're depressed. It may be worth checking into that. If it is a mild depression then it may not take much to jolt you out of it with some temporary medication.
 

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I'm a fantastic story teller. Tried writing but I'm just not good at putting things on paper. Nor do I feel I'm doing a story justice, if I can't gauge your reaction or tailor the story to an audience. When I was younger I wanted to do stand up. Many people have suggested I do it. But it's not natural to me. Feels like work. I'd rather be funny out of nowhere than feel like I have to be funny for you.
There are storytelling festivals all over. Look into them!
 

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She knows. It frustrates her because there isn't much she has to offer up. Same stuff everyone suggests. Get a hobby, go out with the guys, exercise. It's obvious when I'm not good. I can easily slip into charming me when I need to. I can have her dieing from laughing when I need to. But if nothing is stimulating me mentally then I just feel bored. I crave new people. People who don't want to talk about deck building or their pediatricians. I love my kids, I'm sure you do too. But the last thing I want to hear about is your kids or PTA stuff.
 

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I'm happily married some would say. But I find marriage and kids to be boring AF. Nothing excites me anymore. I try to put up a good front but really I'm miserable most days. Read a lot of books on marriage, intimacy etc. All seems like common sense to me. I implement the things and seems to really work out for her. But nothing makes me happy really. Looking forward to joining the discussions

Classisc.Mid.Life.Crisis.

first of all don't blame anyone other then yourself for the situation you are in.

someone that says NOTHING excites me......well then you ain't seen enough. there are many amazing things to go out and enjoy without bringing drugs/alcohol into the picture.

to me, crying NOTHING excites me...spells out laziness and an unwillingness to put some effort into finding out what lights your fire. its also wreaks of wanting excitement/passion for something to come EASY. well I am here to say its the hard things in life that bring the most pleasure.


stop whining and go do something. you may even set a good example for your kids.
 

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She knows. It frustrates her because there isn't much she has to offer up. Same stuff everyone suggests. Get a hobby, go out with the guys, exercise. It's obvious when I'm not good. I can easily slip into charming me when I need to. I can have her dieing from laughing when I need to. But if nothing is stimulating me mentally then I just feel bored. I crave new people. People who don't want to talk about deck building or their pediatricians. I love my kids, I'm sure you do too. But the last thing I want to hear about is your kids or PTA stuff.
Get a motorcycle. Go on rides. Much less kid talk.

As far as not being good at anything, you don't get good without putting time in, no matter how much of a natural you are at first.
 

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Not for nuthin' ... but you should take the suggestions about getting checked for depression, thyroid, testosterone, any of those things can certainly cause 'malaise'.

My thing back in the day was paintball. Just the right amount of self-harm, and harm upon others, that you could still call it 'fun'.
 

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I'm happily married some would say. But I find marriage and kids to be boring AF. Nothing excites me anymore. I try to put up a good front but really I'm miserable most days. Read a lot of books on marriage, intimacy etc. All seems like common sense to me. I implement the things and seems to really work out for her. But nothing makes me happy really. Looking forward to joining the discussions
This sounds like depression to me. Have you seen a counsellor?
 

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Is it possible you could be depressed? Does any depression run in your family? Also, when was your last physical? What you are describing can be a symptom of low testosterone.

I'm sorry you are struggling. It stinks when everything seems to be going "right," and you still feel empty :(
You are empty amid plenty.

You have a full life, a mind busy with important duties, yet none are seemingly important to you.

This is where a custom-fit hobby will fill the void where other's common feats have monopolized all the free space in your closeted life.

...........................................................................................................

Sir, you have met Midlife and his Crisis. We all go through this, have gone through this.

Many some tumble and fall during this 'phase'.

Some shake off the flea that inspires fleeing off together with a mistress, or a minstrel.

Know that, while it passes, it never ebbs totally away to a place forgotten.





[THM]- The Typist I
 

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Classisc.Mid.Life.Crisis.

first of all don't blame anyone other then yourself for the situation you are in.

someone that says NOTHING excites me......well then you ain't seen enough. there are many amazing things to go out and enjoy without bringing drugs/alcohol into the picture.

to me, crying NOTHING excites me...spells out laziness and an unwillingness to put some effort into finding out what lights your fire. its also wreaks of wanting excitement/passion for something to come EASY. well I am here to say its the hard things in life that bring the most pleasure.


stop whining and go do something. you may even set a good example for your kids.
I like your directness and I have screamed that to myself many times. I could tell you all the reasons why I don't try anything, and none of them are good.
 

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The first thing I thought when reading your post was "I sure hope this doesn't go somewhere that involves wrecking everything he has chasing after some notion of happiness".

Nothing can make you happy, you either are happy or you aren't. If you aren't you need to look inside for the reason why. Nothing you can do or find will ever be much more than a pacification or distraction from the unhappiness that exists within you.
 
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