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Discussion Starter #1
What are some of your reasons for not initiating sex with your wife?

Women, what are some reasons you don't initiate sex.

I am talking about any given night.
 

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Right now, I have a kidney infection with a bad UTI. Last time I got this, it lasted 3 months before I healed. Hopefully I'll heal quicker this time around. There is no intimacy until I heal up or it will put me in a major setback.:/

The only other reason would be my monthly.

I try to please hubby, but he feels guilty if he's the only one getting pleasure and refuses. He waits patiently for me.
 

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1) Had a lot of sex recently, feeling pretty satisfied, probably will be better tommorow.
2) Have deep, intellectual, non sexual thoughts on my mind, often work related.
3) Believe rightly or wrongly that she's not in the mood.
4) We had a fight. I don't believe in make up sex, it's like rewarding bad behavior. Plus fighting kills the mood for me.
5) Just too tired after intense physical activity like skiing or hiking.
 

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Fear of rejection after it has happened too many times.

Also, sometimes if she does agree, it's only for my benefit she's doing it & it's clear she's not really into it and it's "just the basics."
I could not have said it better myself. I always feels like it's only for my benefit since she basically lays there with no reaction/response while having sex.
 

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I could not have said it better myself. I always feels like it's only for my benefit since she basically lays there with no reaction/response while having sex.
Right?! And if you're not really into it but just doing it because you feel it's your "wifely duty," then why not BS the passion for me as well? It stinks of passive aggressiveness.
 

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Can't think of any reason. Even if I couldn't manage an erection because it was too soon I have nimble fingers and a tongue.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I could not have said it better myself. I always feels like it's only for my benefit since she basically lays there with no reaction/response while having sex.
And she doesnt say anything during sex either?!
 

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mine just basically lays there as well. It is obvious she does not want to do it anymore. If I begged and whined about it, I'm sure I could get her to at least once or twice a month, but it would be just like the others have said: laying there like it is a chore, and if there is any emotion, it is usually her acting like it is taking too long, or she is hurting. Who wants to have sex like that? Masturbating is more pleasurable. We haven't had sex in 4 months now, because I won't beg.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
mine just basically lays there as well. It is obvious she does not want to do it anymore. If I begged and whined about it, I'm sure I could get her to at least once or twice a month, but it would be just like the others have said: laying there like it is a chore, and if there is any emotion, it is usually her acting like it is taking too long, or she is hurting. Who wants to have sex like that? Masturbating is more pleasurable. We haven't had sex in 4 months now, because I won't beg.
Why is she like that with you?
 

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And she doesnt say anything during sex either?!
Only the occasional, "what was that noise? Was that one of the kids at the door"? Or, "no you can't cum inside me" is another popular one in our bed.

I've learned in my short time on this site that there are women who have a genuine interest in sex and want to please their husbands (and vice-versa) while there are the women who really have no desire and feel that sex is either a nuisance or done only for their husbands sake. I fall into the latter category.

Jeez.....I feel like I could write a book. Sexless marriage...initiating sex...no oral sex...major mood swings...but I won't high-jack your thread.
 

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Only the occasional, "what was that noise? Was that one of the kids at the door"? Or, "no you can't cum inside me" is another popular one in our bed.

I've learned in my short time on this site that there are women who have a genuine interest in sex and want to please their husbands (and vice-versa) while there are the women who really have no desire and feel that sex is either a nuisance or done only for their husbands sake. I fall into the latter category.

Jeez.....I feel like I could write a book. Sexless marriage...initiating sex...no oral sex...major mood swings...but I won't high-jack your thread.
Sorry about your situation... I know you have probably talked to her about it... Maybe you can show her how serious it is by letting her know that MC is necessary. I really hope things change for you.
 

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For me:

Tired from physical nature of job and working 50+ hours a week.(I know, I know. I didn't say it was a good reason.)

Wife had daughter move in with us but, told me it wouldn't happen.(This was a marriage breaker. I told the ex this before we got married. She lied to me.)

Wife cried about daughter at night and worried even after sex.

Wife got aggressive riding me and really hurt me badly. I was sore for a good six weeks and then there was a little less feeling. She didn't care though, she finished anyway.

Didn't want wife's daughter to hear us and told her and she said, "Who cares?" "I do", I said.

Bought a bed which eliminated positions she and I both liked. Didn't know what to do about it. Asked her. She didn't know either. Isn't that a sad reason?? Jeez, now that I write that and read it, wow, stupid!! Both of us!

Wanted to talk about things we were both willing to do or had done. Tried many times. She didn't want to talk and I didn't feel secure enough unless we shared. I think that is only right in an open and honest relationship.

So many more. That's all I want to say now. What a damn shame. You know, the funny thing is, she thought I didn't want her. I just wanted to share, that's all. Love me, don't use me.
 

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1) Died in his sleep

2) Had a stroke and can't move

3) His body has been taken over by space aliens (check for
pods in the celler)

4) He mistook super glue for lube when he tried to whack off
and his unit is glued to his leg

5) He has had a sex change and dosn't want you to think he
is a lesbian.....

All kidding aside I find it impossible to lie in bed with my wife, and not caress her body in a loving manner.

She is a very tactile person and loves my touch. I think her backside was sculped by Botticelli.

How can any man be within reach of such a wonder without expressing his deep appreciation in a physical manner????

I guess lots of women feel reluctant to show the true exent of their sexual nature to a man before marriage, and therefore have no idea about his sex drive.

Almost any males can work up a sufficent levil of lust to make the object of his desire feel she is ardently desired during courtship, but it is almost impossible to judge how he will hold up over he long haul......

I guess lots of men find themselves in the same position re. their sex partners.
 

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Ya think that might set them up for an inevitable divorce??
 

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Beg her to wear lingerie and all she wants to wear is something I do not think is sexy. When she finally wears what I want, I am so overjoyed, I giggle a little with anticipation and she thinks I am laughing at her. What else can go wrong?!

More on the way. I have to remember. This is kinda cleansing.
 

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When I have my period (his choice), when it's been less than two days since last time, when he says he's tired or sick. When I can tell he's just not in the mood and there's no point in trying.
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