There's probably some truth to what you've posted - however, not being turned on by a guy wouldn't always be a reason to not have sex with him. I probably wouldn't even give a guy a second date if I wasn't sexually attracted to him. That wouldn't mean there's something wrong with him inherently - we just wouldn't be a match.
I really do concern myself with safety, trust, health, etc. when considering a partner. I've heard that I'm called a "serial monogamist" - but that's just the way it is. There are people walking around out there with undiagnosed STIs of all different types and the absolute best way to avoid them is to not have sex with infected individuals. So, I would be looking for a partner who is clean - as unsexy as this may be. Damn those anatomy and physiology classes!
When I first met my husband, he was getting out of a longterm marriage and had been separated for six months - and by the time we first had a date, it was nearly a year he was out of that relationship. He had been monogamous. That was important to me.
But I didn't know any of this completely until we had gotten to know each other over time. Believe me, I wanted to have sex and wanted to have sex with him in particular and he with me as well. Sometimes that waiting was excruciating. We devoured each other the first time we had sex.
So, it wasn't that I wasn't attracted to him. I don't know if the percentages of people with my mindset are just very small or what these days - but a few of us are very sexual, just not willing to take a health risk for a few seconds of bliss. Like I said, condoms only protect to a certain extent...fluids leak around condoms and fluids get exchanged in any sexual encounter so, to me, knowing one's partner and understanding that monogamy is the safest form of sex, plays a role for some people. A 90 day rule may be something that some people laugh at but it's actually smart and logical.
There should be a distinction: are we talking about new partners or mature marriages here?
I personally did always prefer to ‘chase & hunt’ down women I liked. Maybe it’s in my dna (can do nothing about it) but having women spread their legs for me without having to put any work: I found this always very confusing and kind of off putting (no offence to anyone who’s into it though; it was just my preference).
As far as mature marriages: my wife still likes me to take & ‘conquer’ her, sexually. She doesn’t do it in a ‘sh1t testy’ or ‘mind ****ing’ way (usually)...She just likes consensual non consent stuff, on a wild occasion (which is quite often).
She’s turned on by it. Hugely. I understand other women here possibly can’t relate to that, that’s fine and they have their own preferences (which I don’t judge).
There’s a big difference between this and using sex as a ‘currency’ or doing it because they are unattracted (?) to their partner.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk