This sounds like he wants his needs metbut doesn't care about how his behavior impacts or effects you. My stbxw is the same way. Doesn't want to pay for anything she doesn't have to, wants to car pool to mediation as we file because she doesnt have the money she says for gas whiich is bs, doesnt want to work more than a few days a week waiting tables, blames me for everything, never says sorry no matter indignant she is, uses emotional blackmail in the form of threats and guilt to get me to comply to her wishes, threatened to evict me, lies constantly, projects, gas lighting meaning she makes reality out to be something its not, or that she put net dating profiles up 3 days after she moved out 2 weeks after she said she wanted a separation, never told me she was dating others, on and on but won't work more because she sees no point in getting short time work or w/e, scapegoats me as an excuse to people we know to justify her behavior, tried to bilk me out of cash by letting her new roommate try and guilt me into giving more cash for things like taking shelves down in their house for her to move in . . . On and on.
He only cares about him, she only cares about her. It took me a lot of courage to finally say no more to her, no more money or paying her bills, no more psychological war, I call her on it all. Example, I ask her on the phone to call if she is free to say hi to our daughter who is missing her and she tells me I'm trying to manipulate her and make her feel guilty, no, I'm just asking if she can call and say hi, which she does now almost nightly, we have 50/50 but she had to get her dig in. She is so oblivious and plays the victim 100% of the time
It took great strength and reading books about emotional blackmail and narcissism to understand how to read through the fog of mental and emotional abuse/turmoil to get me to say no, stop seeing her in her historical role, I am more in love with the idea of having a loving family not in love with this person who I had a child with, a child that means the world over to me, the most precious of all things. I'm now an excellent single father which was an easy transition since I was already a superb dad, buti had to learn a lot in a short period of time, especially how to cope with my feelings about being away from my daughter
GL stop thinking about him and think about yourself, your needs, that's what he is doing, action follows cognition, once you start thinking it you will start doing it