[TurnedTurtle]

Had divorce mediation yesterday morning, and we've settled. I'll transfer about 22% of my retirement savings to her IRA. No ongoing commitment of support, in either direction... We've got some relatively minor business transition stuff and personal property retrieval to take care of, and she'll let me store my boat at her place at less-than-market rates for up to two years so I have time to find a new home for it, but otherwise we're done. My lawyer sent me a draft of the agreement late last night; once that's finalized and we've both signed, our lawyers will initiate the divorce filing with the court, we'll have an initial hearing with the court where we say "Yeah, this is our agreement," and ~60 days after that it should be finalized.

Yay!?

?

I was still very sad yesterday afternoon..

This is it, our M is really coming to an end.

 

[BeyondRepair007]

Had divorce mediation yesterday morning, and we've settled. I'll transfer about 22% of my retirement savings to her IRA. No ongoing commitment of support, in either direction... We've got some relatively minor business transition stuff and personal property retrieval to take care of, and she'll let me store my boat at her place at less-than-market rates for up to two years so I have time to find a new home for it, but otherwise we're done. My lawyer sent me a draft of the agreement late last night; once that's finalized and we've both signed, our lawyers will initiate the divorce filing with the court, we'll have an initial hearing with the court where we say "Yeah, this is our agreement," and ~60 days after that it should be finalized.

Yay!?

?

I was still very sad yesterday afternoon..

This is it, our M is really coming to an end.

I had to go read your backstory. It's a bittersweet time for you, emphasis on bitter.

There are better days ahead though, but it takes a while.
Any chance you've met someone else to hold your hand as you move forward?

 

[TurnedTurtle]

Any chance you've met someone else to hold your hand as you move forward?

Well, I don't know about "hold my hand," but I have a very supportive family, several good friends, a developing business opportunity, and I continue to check in with my therapist periodically. Sure, one of those good friends might be growing into something more, but I'm trying to avoid getting into a rebound situation with her, she's too good for that, would rather shoot for a LAT-LTR type thing with her, so taking it sloooowwww...

 

[BeyondRepair007]

so taking it sloooowwww...

Smart. Some (like myself) move too fast and regret it. Others are in a relationship before the ink is dry and it works fine for them.🤷‍♂️

 

[ThatDarnGuy!]

Do you trust her enough to not sabotage your boat and fill the fuel tank with sugar and water?

 

[TurnedTurtle]

Do you trust her enough to not sabotage your boat and fill the fuel tank with sugar and water?

Yes, yes I do.

 

[TurnedTurtle]

Sure, one of those good friends might be growing into something more...

Or not.

But then just when I'm about resigned to staying in her friend zone, some little bit of communication happens that suggests maybe there is still hope.

Taking it sloooowwww is kind of maddening in this way.

I know I need to just focus on being my best self, having confidence that eventually somebody will take interest, and perhaps expand my horizons a bit (ie, maybe put myself out there more, in the "pool"), all while still cultivating my current friendships (including this particular one).

Maybe I should take this discussion to Life after Divorce? Singles of TAM?