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I've never posted on this board before. I have posted on the Coping with Infidelity and Going through Divorce/Separation boards.

Here's the deal.

I am currently separated from my husband of 8 years. We have two children together, a 6 yr old and a 2 yr old. I have just filed for divorce. I have the children majority of the time, Dad get them every other weekend. This is his weekend.

Yesterday stbxh picked the kids up about 10:30am. After they left I did nothing and felt nothing. I started a load of laundry and I went to my room to read (I love reading). I read and I read and I read...all day until I ended up falling asleep around 11pm. During that 12 hours I got up once or twice to get a drink, smoke a cigarette and go to the bathroom. I never left the house, I didn't speak to anyone.

I'm noticing a trend...pretty much the samething happend 2 weekends ago, when the kids left to be with their dad.

I've had MILD depression for about the last 5 years or so. But it's not something that affected my day to day life. Just sometimes I would feel a little down. I've been to IC in the past and I've considered going now, although I don't have the money for it.

I decided this morning that tonight I will start running. Ok it will be more walking but someday I'll be running lol. But I can't just lock myself away every other weekend!
 

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arh you most likely enjoying the peace and quite, i have a 5 and 2 year old, i never get that rest as i'm a single parent.

You do need to workout and go out and enjoy yourself, you should be making the most of that free time, how about joining a rambling club, then you are walking and making friends at the same time.
 

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maybe I have an issue but that sounds like the IDEAL day in my opinion! lol

I see nothing wrong with spending the day on the couch reading as long as it isn't every day and as long as you get out and about on other days.
 

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maybe I have an issue but that sounds like the IDEAL day in my opinion! lol

I see nothing wrong with spending the day on the couch reading as long as it isn't every day and as long as you get out and about on other days.
Absolutely. Nothing wrong with a little me time.

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The first few weekends I was alone I almost went home due to loneliness! The pain of not being with my kids was crushing. I went to visit friends but felt like a fish out of water. I have made myself go the gym and the exercise does lift my spirits a few hours later. I still struggle but not quite as bad.
 

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Hey,

So I love all that you have said, and I feel your pain. My boyfriend of 3 years keeps breaking up when he goes through these moods and doubts our relationship. Saying it feels pointless and that he doesn't know if he loves me. The last time we talked it was, "I think I'm in love with you, but I don't know..." It feels awful to hear him say that. I know that deep down he loves me, but I'm confused as to why this is happening. Until my therapist said that she thinks he has depression.

Now, here are my questions: How do I cope with this without seeming like I'm making accusations, or pushing him, or making ultimatums? How does one learn to talk to someone like this? SEtting boundaries without pushing them away?

I've always been worried what mood he's been in, but now I want to make progress and I feel stuck. I don't want to push him away, but I also don't want him to doubt his feelings for me anymore. It all seems very confusing to me, but I'm understanding more now...
 

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aikkiwi, he probably does have depression but he is also telling you he does not want to be with you. You should let him go and find someone who will provide you with the stability you need.

daisy, i don't have kids but often when i have the day off, i lay in bed all day long. i do suffer from depression. i try not to beat myself up over it too bad because it would only exhaust me further.
 

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He is saying he doesn't know what he wants and needs to figure it out. I'm not sure leaving is the best way to handle this. But then again, what do I know. I guess only time will tell.
 
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