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FELLAS I Need your INPUT!

So my husband and I have been married for 3 years and been together for 7 almost 8 years. We separated last year for about a year. In between he was dating and particularly seeing and sleeping with his boss. Also vice versa was seeing people while we were separated. The cause of our separation was due to lack of communication which led to constant arguements and we weren't have sex anymore. I didn't feel any sense of connection and even doubted my love, maybe I have fallen out of love. So I had to do what was best and at the time I felt that separation was the best thing for us. For a while I tried to find myself and really see what I wanted, I owed it to myself.

In the midst of finding myself my husband felt that no matter his countless tries to get back with me, he felt that I just wouldn't budge. At the same time I felt scared to go back, he got closer to his boss and he was not only sexually involved but also emotionally involved. I know my absense physically and emotionally probably drove him to this. Personally I never got close to anyone, I felt hesitant and I barely dated. In late September I wanted to give my marriage a second chance but while we patching things up, his boss is still sending him emails.I also found out they were sending emails earlier during the year, had sex in their work place and was often at her place. This is very hard for me to swallow, a part of me wished I never knew this information but I do.


The problem: I have been having a very hard time accepting his relationship with his boss, what bothers me most is that she got emotionally attached to my husband more than he did. She has sent him emails how much she dislike him and wished to disappear from him and even called him an ahole. He drafted an email to her in his work email with his side of the story. He claims she's sending a lot of subliminal messages towards him and giving him a hard time at his work place. All of this happening while we are patching things up. I felt the old feelings of distrust come back and now I can't work past it. I feel as if I am self destructing and destroying my relationship due to my actions. It is mind f*cking (excuse my french) to know that he still sees her every day. I had told him several times he needed to find a job. He also told me that he told her about me finding out about them. He told her that they need to refrain from any contact and she told him she would try to find another job. I can't seem to just forget about it, it's draining me mentally and physically, I rarely smile or go out anymore. I feel like this situation has gotten the best of me. I know it happened before we got back together but the fact that they ended whatever relationship they had not too long ago, I feel like I can't work on this relationship until i know she is no longer in the picture or either one of them move out of the work place. My main concern now is how can I learn to deal with this situation. I feel like this situation has gotten so big, bigger than me. I could no longer cope, I'm always moody and never know what will set me off next. I do want my marriage to work but until I can find some way to move pass this , I don't think it will work.

PLEASE HELP!
 
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