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Why did you get married? If you are having so many issues already, and don't have kids, why are you so against divorce?

If you are both adamant that divorce isn't an option, then you both have to be willing to put in the hard work. A lot of which will be at the individual level, not as a couple.

What are your "massive differences on every level"?

From where I'm sitting, it looks like mental illness is causing a lot of your issues. Even things such as low sex drive and bad temper can be caused by depression. Are either of you doing anything to treat your depression and anxiety? Medication?

You should both be doing individual counseling. Two unhealthy people will have a hell of a time trying to make a healthy relationship. You need to work on your mental health, as well as the past sexual trauma. You may also want to talk to your doctor about your low sex drive, in case there is an underlying medical cause.

Your wife certainly doesn't sound like a very supportive spouse. Can she see that her behavior is not conducive to a healthy relationship?

Marriage counseling can be a huge help but you both have individual work to do as well.
 

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Sounds to me like a mismatch, to say the very least. And you can claim this is "love" all you want, but this is NOT how love behaves. You didn't state your ages, but you both sound very young; or, at least you both ACT very young.

People in love with each other don't get into name-calling and flying off the handle at every little thing. Sounds like an overly dramatic hot mess to me.
 
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If you both find divorce unappealing, by all means try MC, but as the above poster says, you will both need to do a lot of work.

MC can really help w/ communication(if you both do the work), and also w/ becoming emotional during an argument(same qualifier). If by "massive differences" you mean difft. backgrounds, that isn't bad as long as you respect each other's backgrounds. If your background has led you to bad habits, you need to work on that(her too).

Definitely address any sexual issues. As for your SIL, just try to include others and don't behave inappropriately.
 

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It seems.....

In the beginning, when match-maker Cupid fired an arrow at your SIL (on your behalf), it went wide of the mark and hit your wife, instead.


The Typist-
 
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You both know the things you do that cause the trouble. You could each stop doing those things if you wanted to. However, you keep doing them because actually you don't like each other much (at the moment) and neither of you really wants a closer relationship with the other. A couples counsellor is going to have a hard time helping you unless you can actually want to make it better. (I am a couples counsellor).

Am I right? Do you actually want to be closer to this person at the moment?
 

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Sounds like you both need to get your depression and anxiety under control to start.
You both need IC and medical treatment for that .
When you both get those issues under control, MC is in order.
Buckle up for some hard work and choices. Best of luck.
 

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All of the above. No kids means simple.

If you're this stressed out go ahead and one person moves out pronto.

Don't let it drag on. Sounds like one of you will snap, smack the other, creating a much much worse scene.

Exit.
 

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Hey!
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My wife and I love each other very much but we have only been married now for two years and things already seem unrepairable. We've tried many different activities suggested online and the same mistakes are constantly made over and over. We are now considering couples therapy. We are adamant that divorce and separation is not an option for us.

Our three biggest issues are:
1. Massive differences on every level
2. Lack of communication
3. Both get overly emotional

We both have such different backgrounds. She comes through a heavily family orientated background while not the case for me. I am not great at conversation as in my family home there was not much conversation whereas she's used to constant talking to her mum and dad and two sisters. I often find it hard to know what to talk to her about.

I admit I am really bad with listening and remembering things. Not that I am being lazy or distracted but because things don't always seem to stick in my head. Understandably this irritates her as she is often having to repeat herself.

We both suffer from depression and anxiety. When she gets sad and down, I find it very hard to be supportive in the way she needs because the way she needs it doesn't come naturally to me. I often make the situation worse. It's even worse if I am down too because I feel hopeless.

I also feel very guilty because I don't seem to have any sex drive since getting married and I don't fully know why but she ends up feeling sexually frustrated because of this. I have had a history of being groomed by a friend when I was 17 which may have caused this non existent sex drive but I don't know.

One of my biggest struggles is that her sister and I have everything in common. We are very similar people in all areas. As she is very close with her family, I often have no choice but to spend time with her sister and I tend to focus only on her without even knowing it. I feel so much shame because I love my wife and I only want to be interested in her. It's very hard when there is someone else who just seems so much more like me. Of course I would never ever ever cheat. I hate the idea of it but having those feelings just puts more of a strain on things and my wife does know about my feelings for her but she is understandable and does not blame me for them.

Of course these are my biggest problems I have and my contribution to this unhappy marriage but I will now list my biggest difficulties with my wife....

She has a very bad temper. She is regularly ticked off by the smallest thing which she will explode about. Even if it's something I do that does not even involve her.
She often misinterprets things I say and accuses me of incorrect things. She is very critical of the things I do and often puts me down when I make mistakes as I am quite clumsy. Calling me names like stupid or idiot. She's a bit of a control freak too. She likes things to be done her way. When I express my own opinion she gets upset and says I am always disagreeing and hating on her ideas.

When I am anxious or depressed or even physically poorly, she is supportive up to a point until she gets fed up and starts suggesting I just "get on with it" etc.

We've continuously tried talking about our issues but it often end with her raising her voice and then eventually crying.
Two things that stood out to me were 1) that she sounds emotionally abusive calling you horrible names and 2) she has a very bad temper. I lived with a man with a bad temper and I would never ever do it again. You spend the whole time walking on eggshells in fear of making them mad.
Its hard to see how this marriage will work in anyway or that you ever be happy with her. I cant really understand why you married her. Neither of you seem ready for marriage and you both have issues that need dealing with. She needs to agree to anger managment as well.
 
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