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14,341 Posts
My wife and I have been dealing with alot of issues both current and non-current since MC, we're both quite active in trying to make it work, however our level of happiness has dropped substantially. The sheer amount of disagreements when it comes to sex, our lifestyle, raising our daughter, is making me wonder if we're actually not as compatible as we thought.
Best Friends? Sure... Hot lovers? Sure... Husband and wife? Erm... maybe not so much... at the same time my wife hates the impression that I've given her that our marriage has problems and needs fixing. Guess ignorance is bliss...
Despite our problems with sexual frequency, the sex itself (when not forced/routine) and our passion has always been our saving grace. Now we've been trying to work out our differences without sex to 'soften each other up'. MC is forcing us to take our marriage really seriously and identify what has to go and what can stay. But while it goes on I'm also starting to feel what my wife told me she has been feeling; it's like our relationship is in "repair mode" and paused.
It's going to take alot of work and time to fix our outstanding issues, but I don't know how long we can stay on "repair mode" and expect the passion to remain, and if anyone has dealt with long-term MC, how does one deal with that feeling? We're being too serious about it I guess... but it's hard with so many issues swept under the rug over the years - and everything resurfacing.
My wife is rather fearful actually (compared to years ago), and is being a little too submissive (and knowing her - potentially passive aggressive), to the point she's no help at all when trying to establish fair compromises and boundaries. I don't want to walk all over her nor vice versa. It's obvious that our past seperation cut her up something deep.
Anyways, she's not happy. She's not been happy since MC. And hence I'm not happy, and hell... even when we fight we've NEVER had to deal with this much indifference from each other - in fact, when we fight our passion for each other remains a constant. But now... what's going on? =/
Best Friends? Sure... Hot lovers? Sure... Husband and wife? Erm... maybe not so much... at the same time my wife hates the impression that I've given her that our marriage has problems and needs fixing. Guess ignorance is bliss...
Despite our problems with sexual frequency, the sex itself (when not forced/routine) and our passion has always been our saving grace. Now we've been trying to work out our differences without sex to 'soften each other up'. MC is forcing us to take our marriage really seriously and identify what has to go and what can stay. But while it goes on I'm also starting to feel what my wife told me she has been feeling; it's like our relationship is in "repair mode" and paused.
It's going to take alot of work and time to fix our outstanding issues, but I don't know how long we can stay on "repair mode" and expect the passion to remain, and if anyone has dealt with long-term MC, how does one deal with that feeling? We're being too serious about it I guess... but it's hard with so many issues swept under the rug over the years - and everything resurfacing.
My wife is rather fearful actually (compared to years ago), and is being a little too submissive (and knowing her - potentially passive aggressive), to the point she's no help at all when trying to establish fair compromises and boundaries. I don't want to walk all over her nor vice versa. It's obvious that our past seperation cut her up something deep.
Anyways, she's not happy. She's not been happy since MC. And hence I'm not happy, and hell... even when we fight we've NEVER had to deal with this much indifference from each other - in fact, when we fight our passion for each other remains a constant. But now... what's going on? =/