Joined
·
194 Posts
I went to see my counselor for the first time and I really enjoyed talking to him. It was not easy at first but he made me feel better after while.
He asked about me, my marriage problems and reason why I stayed in it.
He said he won't tell anyone to get divorce but he would point me right directions and help me too see things clearly.
He also said I should be aware of a fact, that I may not like what I see after.
He gave me homework - to read books Boundaries/Boundaries in Marriage by Townsend and Cloud.
I have to keep diary of our conflict and what are they about.
He told me to observe what is behind my husbands anger. Is it hurt, fear?
He said not to be his maid and say Yes to everything. He told me to try to do little less for him and see his reactions.
My first thing in diary was from this morning...
My H went to shower, forgot his towel.
After he was done, he started to make noises for me to see he needs his towel.
He also started his dance to get rid of water on him.
Since his moves did not work for me, he asked for towel.
I asked him nicely to open door and reach to his right to get it from our shelf full of towels. He said he won't because he does not want to wet floor.
I gave him his towel and said "please, next time you go shower, get you towel ahead".
He started arguing with me for making big deal out of it.
He said " If you were good person, you would give me that towel!"
After this statement, I asked him if that means that he labeled me "bad person l" just because I did not want to do what he asked?
He said that I am turning situation in my favor. I said I do not. After few more words, him having sarcastic laugh over me, I just stop talking. He also made sarcastic remark "don't forget to tell this to your doctor."
After couple of minutes while I was ironing my clothes, he touched me few times just like nothing happened. Then he would stay behind me and caressed my back. I did not say a word. He said " are you angry, dearest?", and then he admitted that he said "if I were good person". Nothing else. Then I left to work.
Four more weeks to go before my next session.
He asked about me, my marriage problems and reason why I stayed in it.
He said he won't tell anyone to get divorce but he would point me right directions and help me too see things clearly.
He also said I should be aware of a fact, that I may not like what I see after.
He gave me homework - to read books Boundaries/Boundaries in Marriage by Townsend and Cloud.
I have to keep diary of our conflict and what are they about.
He told me to observe what is behind my husbands anger. Is it hurt, fear?
He said not to be his maid and say Yes to everything. He told me to try to do little less for him and see his reactions.
My first thing in diary was from this morning...
My H went to shower, forgot his towel.
After he was done, he started to make noises for me to see he needs his towel.
He also started his dance to get rid of water on him.
Since his moves did not work for me, he asked for towel.
I asked him nicely to open door and reach to his right to get it from our shelf full of towels. He said he won't because he does not want to wet floor.
I gave him his towel and said "please, next time you go shower, get you towel ahead".
He started arguing with me for making big deal out of it.
He said " If you were good person, you would give me that towel!"
After this statement, I asked him if that means that he labeled me "bad person l" just because I did not want to do what he asked?
He said that I am turning situation in my favor. I said I do not. After few more words, him having sarcastic laugh over me, I just stop talking. He also made sarcastic remark "don't forget to tell this to your doctor."
After couple of minutes while I was ironing my clothes, he touched me few times just like nothing happened. Then he would stay behind me and caressed my back. I did not say a word. He said " are you angry, dearest?", and then he admitted that he said "if I were good person". Nothing else. Then I left to work.
Four more weeks to go before my next session.