I can admit that dating and marriage was sort of a whirlwind for my husband and I (He is 32 and I'm 26). We started dating just after I ended a very short engagement (from a 3 year relationship). When we started dating, I wasn't looking a for a relationship. I just thought it would be nice to get back into being social. We hit it off, so Instead, I allowed myself to get right back into a relationship.
Things moved quickly with us from the very beginning. I should've been more steadfast in keeping my distance. I was so swept up in having someone return my affections (a major problem in my previous relationship) that I didn't keep my guard up like I should've. We met online in 2009 and talked off and on until 2010. We talked daily on the phone for about 2 months before meeting face-to-face. After that, we dated for 1 year prior to engagement. We were engaged 6 months and married this past summer. We've only been married 4 months. Why do I already want to run?
I'm a poor fit for marriage--I feel. We're both pig-headed, a bit immature. I love him most of the time, but I don't like him and I don't think that he likes me either most of the time. We argue very frequently, mostly over things that have to do with control. He likes to make decisions without me and then insist that I actually had a say. I feel like a child. I am one, I guess. I'm still in graduate school and he is the one working. I was working and going to school, but the course load was so heavy that I couldn't keep up with the additional lab hours outside of class. So now he pays for everything. He even gives me money to spend. I'm grateful for that. I've tried to make things easier on him as well, but he doesn't see the things that I do (domestic stuff) as important. So they don't register for him. I asked him for a list of things that would make him feel appreciated. I thought I could do them and he would feel good and I would feel good and maybe things would improve. Everything is going through the motions already. It's so early. There is no passion in anything anymore. We're too fat and tired for sex. Even when we have it, it's not good.
We went to premarital counseling and have kept with the same counselor for follow-up sessions. She seems to think that we're doing fine. I just feel so dissatisfied and empty. Is this what my life will be? I am to answer to him for the rest of my life? Selfishly, I want my own space back. I want to make decisions about my life again. I don't care if I have to make due on a shoestring budget. I've done it before and I was happier then.
We fought last night and then tonight, both my fault of course (according to him, maybe he is right). He is mad at me right now because I won't fight with him. I'm exhausted of fighting over stupid things. I don't care. He can have his way if he will leave me alone.
I think that I'm too immature for this. I wish I could take it back. I don't know if I should try or not. I guess this is more of a vent than anything, but I don't know where to start. How could it be this way so soon? Is this me being poor at change? Should I just "go along to get along"? Is it always going to be so sad?
Things moved quickly with us from the very beginning. I should've been more steadfast in keeping my distance. I was so swept up in having someone return my affections (a major problem in my previous relationship) that I didn't keep my guard up like I should've. We met online in 2009 and talked off and on until 2010. We talked daily on the phone for about 2 months before meeting face-to-face. After that, we dated for 1 year prior to engagement. We were engaged 6 months and married this past summer. We've only been married 4 months. Why do I already want to run?
I'm a poor fit for marriage--I feel. We're both pig-headed, a bit immature. I love him most of the time, but I don't like him and I don't think that he likes me either most of the time. We argue very frequently, mostly over things that have to do with control. He likes to make decisions without me and then insist that I actually had a say. I feel like a child. I am one, I guess. I'm still in graduate school and he is the one working. I was working and going to school, but the course load was so heavy that I couldn't keep up with the additional lab hours outside of class. So now he pays for everything. He even gives me money to spend. I'm grateful for that. I've tried to make things easier on him as well, but he doesn't see the things that I do (domestic stuff) as important. So they don't register for him. I asked him for a list of things that would make him feel appreciated. I thought I could do them and he would feel good and I would feel good and maybe things would improve. Everything is going through the motions already. It's so early. There is no passion in anything anymore. We're too fat and tired for sex. Even when we have it, it's not good.
We went to premarital counseling and have kept with the same counselor for follow-up sessions. She seems to think that we're doing fine. I just feel so dissatisfied and empty. Is this what my life will be? I am to answer to him for the rest of my life? Selfishly, I want my own space back. I want to make decisions about my life again. I don't care if I have to make due on a shoestring budget. I've done it before and I was happier then.
We fought last night and then tonight, both my fault of course (according to him, maybe he is right). He is mad at me right now because I won't fight with him. I'm exhausted of fighting over stupid things. I don't care. He can have his way if he will leave me alone.
I think that I'm too immature for this. I wish I could take it back. I don't know if I should try or not. I guess this is more of a vent than anything, but I don't know where to start. How could it be this way so soon? Is this me being poor at change? Should I just "go along to get along"? Is it always going to be so sad?