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What do you do when you realize that you have no chemistry with your husband and avoid having sex with him? We are still fairly newly married with no kids...but we have not had sex in almost 3 months. Actually, I can probably count on two hands the number of times we have had sex in the past 10 months.
I feel like I just watched this evolve over the past 4-5 years, knowing full and well what I was doing, but I was incapable of stopping it for some reason. My husband and I have been married for 1.5 years, but we dated for 3 years before we got married and have known each other for 18 years (went to hs together). I had just turned 30 when we started dating and had been through some painful relationships leading up to that. I think I knew that he was a really good guy and he is funny and attractive and has a good job and would never cheat on me...but I have no sexual attraction to him whatsoever. I don't know that I ever did even when we were dating. He was the nice, safe guy that I knew wouldn't hurt me.
So I married him and now I feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life...and his. I know I don't want to live the rest of my life in a marriage that has no passion or chemistry. We have been talking about trying to have kids, but I don't want to get pregnant and complicate things even further if I'm not even sure about the marriage. The problem is that I love him very very much...as a friend. I don't know if I could bear hurting him in such a way by leaving him, but do we not both deserve a chance at true love?
I need some advice...your thoughts...experiences...anything?
Thanks!
I feel like I just watched this evolve over the past 4-5 years, knowing full and well what I was doing, but I was incapable of stopping it for some reason. My husband and I have been married for 1.5 years, but we dated for 3 years before we got married and have known each other for 18 years (went to hs together). I had just turned 30 when we started dating and had been through some painful relationships leading up to that. I think I knew that he was a really good guy and he is funny and attractive and has a good job and would never cheat on me...but I have no sexual attraction to him whatsoever. I don't know that I ever did even when we were dating. He was the nice, safe guy that I knew wouldn't hurt me.
So I married him and now I feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life...and his. I know I don't want to live the rest of my life in a marriage that has no passion or chemistry. We have been talking about trying to have kids, but I don't want to get pregnant and complicate things even further if I'm not even sure about the marriage. The problem is that I love him very very much...as a friend. I don't know if I could bear hurting him in such a way by leaving him, but do we not both deserve a chance at true love?
I need some advice...your thoughts...experiences...anything?
Thanks!