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6 Posts
As the title says I've been married for 7 months and since the first week we have had all sorts of problems. Most of it is in communicating and trying to solve problems in order to make our relationship a better one. We have lots of problems in our relationship and I know I have my quirks and I've tried to work on them and am still continuing to work on them. Like I have a problem nagging after I've said something because I want a validity that she cares about my feelings in the situation and has heard me. I get angry after a while of trying to communicate with my wife and am feeling like I'm talking to a dead wall. I am working on these problems and I feel I have made good progress. What comes into play here though, is that most times when I try to talk to my wife about a problem that we have, There is no drive in her to help solve our problems. I don't know why it is but everything else seems to be more important to her than our marriage. Everytime I try to have a conversation she is always on her phone or computer. Or doing something distracting. I've had conversations with her to tell her how much that bothers me but to no avail she still does it. Everytime we talk she is always watching the time and wants to rush our conversations. My PoV is that if there are problems in a marriage and if that marriage and person are of utmost importance to you then you should be willing to take as much time as necessary to help talk things out and come to conclusions. She always wants to get everything done in 10 minutes in which it never gets anywhere. She always wants me to do all the talking and when I am done talking she never has anything to say afterwards. I wait for a response and she always has said what am I supposed ot say to that. This has gone on for a while. I try to give her space, I try to do everything that she wants me to do or asks me to do. I go out of my way for this girl all of the time but I hardly ever get the same devotion. Everything else seems more important to her. She says she cares about this marriage and she want us to stay together but she doesn't seem willing ot do the work necessary. I have pointed this out to her and when I do she says she knows. She has admitted several times that she doesn't try hard enough and I ask her when is it going to change? She always says I don't know.
After going through this and not feeling important to her at all for a few months I had her live at her parents for a week. which was probably a mistake on my part because I got too fed up with her not seeming to care. This led her to having an emotional affair with a guy in just ONE week. She had already set up a date with him and told him she thought she was getting a divorce. In justo ne week.... We worked through that, kind of. I haven't been able to trust her the same since. Oh and another thing. I f i continue to try to talk about something or if she doesn't respond and I repeat myself after waiting a few minutes for her to respond, all this while she is on her phone or computer. I get a smart alic response almost everytime. Or I'll get a very insincere apology and then after that she will continue and if I point it out she will be rude. Last night I told her to stop that. I never talk to her in that way and in no way is it okay for her to do so either. I don't know what to do. Should I just leave her? Is she ever going to come around. I will say this she has tried for a few days at a time. But after a while its like a button resets her and she just stops. When she does try i acknowledge that I notice and appreciate it very much. But everytime, it never seems to fail, she will quit trying. I dont know what else to do. She was like this kind of when we were dating but I overlooked it because it didn't seem to be as serious then. Please help.
After going through this and not feeling important to her at all for a few months I had her live at her parents for a week. which was probably a mistake on my part because I got too fed up with her not seeming to care. This led her to having an emotional affair with a guy in just ONE week. She had already set up a date with him and told him she thought she was getting a divorce. In justo ne week.... We worked through that, kind of. I haven't been able to trust her the same since. Oh and another thing. I f i continue to try to talk about something or if she doesn't respond and I repeat myself after waiting a few minutes for her to respond, all this while she is on her phone or computer. I get a smart alic response almost everytime. Or I'll get a very insincere apology and then after that she will continue and if I point it out she will be rude. Last night I told her to stop that. I never talk to her in that way and in no way is it okay for her to do so either. I don't know what to do. Should I just leave her? Is she ever going to come around. I will say this she has tried for a few days at a time. But after a while its like a button resets her and she just stops. When she does try i acknowledge that I notice and appreciate it very much. But everytime, it never seems to fail, she will quit trying. I dont know what else to do. She was like this kind of when we were dating but I overlooked it because it didn't seem to be as serious then. Please help.
I tell her she that she tells me this and ask her why she isn't motivated to work on it then. I always get I don't know.
