Businessmen going to strip clubs and worse is fairly common, and has been for 100 years. It doesn't make it right, but I think the ladies have to understand the realities in life. Some men think of these trips as sexual and moral vacations. In parts of Europe, Asia, and South America, this behavior is very common, and not seen as a significant moral issue.
So the OP needs to worry about her husband and not worry about all the other men. Her husband will probably need to go to these night clubs if his clients want to go there. He might even need to pay for the other men's prostitutes to help close the deal. The customer is always right.
But good salesmen will not engage in these activities themselves. It gives them the moral high ground and the clients will actually respect him for not indulging. They will think he is the luckiest man in the world if he says that his wife is better than any prostitute. A good salesman also knows that he always wants to have dirt on his clients, but not the other way around.
So hopefully the OP's husband is a smart salesman. but that kind of temptation is very powerful. If he is at one of these clubs and the marriage is having issues, that is what leads men to give in to it.
I think it was an off the wall comment and he probably meant nothing by it, but if I were OP, I'd be looking hard at my marriage to evaluate it's health. Not saying it's bad or anything but if he's going to be exposed to situations like that, then you both need to make sure your marriage is as healthy as it can be.
Are there any issues at home?
As for the other guys...who are any of us to judge? Everyone has different attitudes about everything and to understand anyone you have to know their entire life's history. Not saying it's right or wrong (obviously the majority of us think it's wrong if they're married) but we all have demons.
I've become very humble of my judgements of other people after all the crap I've been through in the past 4 years.
Businessmen going to strip clubs and worse is fairly common, and has been for 100 years. It doesn't make it right, but I think the ladies have to understand the realities in life. Some men think of these trips as sexual and moral vacations. In parts of Europe, Asia, and South America, this behavior is very common, and not seen as a significant moral issue.
So the OP needs to worry about her husband and not worry about all the other men. Her husband will probably need to go to these night clubs if his clients want to go there. He might even need to pay for the other men's prostitutes to help close the deal. The customer is always right.
But good salesmen will not engage in these activities themselves. It gives them the moral high ground and the clients will actually respect him for not indulging. They will think he is the luckiest man in the world if he says that his wife is better than any prostitute. A good salesman also knows that he always wants to have dirt on his clients, but not the other way around.
So hopefully the OP's husband is a smart salesman. but that kind of temptation is very powerful. If he is at one of these clubs and the marriage is having issues, that is what leads men to give in to it.
Because that kind of temptation is very powerful, I don't think it's a good idea for anyone who values their marriage to place themselves in that sort of position.
As for:-
Some men think of these trips as sexual and moral vacations.
So sorry you are dealing with this. In my H's line of business he was actually taken to these places in Asia by his soon to be new boss. When we lived there it went on all the time...completely acceptable. I had a friend out there who's H's boss would leave in the middle of dinner, shag a prostitute and then return.
Not to scare you, but my H was well and truly into this too and I had no idea. We even had discussions about how sad it was.
There is a lot of good advice on here already and I agree with most of it. I travel for work all the time and I have never put myself in the situation your husband placed himself in. I have been on trips where the people I was with were taking clients to a strip club and because of my commitment to my relationship, I did not go. IMO, he should not be placing himself in these situations. It is dangerous.
For myself, I am completely committed to my wife and never want to harm her and would never put myself into that situation. A few drinks, a hot woman and the lure of sex and nobody finding out....yea, that is not a good situation for any straight man, even us strong ones.
I wouldn't be married to a man who goes to sex clubs for business because while I know I will never cheat, I would never assume anybody else will not even my husband. I am only in control of me.
Would your husband be okay with you going to sex clubs several times a year where your married clients & colleagues are having sex with male prostitutes?
God I'm tired of hearing about how weak and helpless men are in the presence of lusty sexual women that happen to not be their wives...[/QUOT
The point is to not to place a man in this situation, not that men are helpless. Bottom line it is very easy to exercise self-control when your not in a situation where the wrong head is talking. Why tempt?
God I'm tired of hearing about how weak and helpless men are in the presence of lusty sexual women that happen to not be their wives...[/QUOT
The point is to not to place a man in this situation, not that men are helpless. Bottom line it is very easy to exercise self-control when your not in a situation where the wrong head is talking. Why tempt?
You are so right.. I wanted him to say that the 50 year old man should not have done it and he did not approve of his actions.. I wanted a strong negative remark from him about the man's actions, but he did not and it certainly did not comfort me.
This would bother me too...this is basically saying the wedding vows expire at age 50 then it becomes a free for all! Seeing that I will be 50 soon this does not bode well with me!
What the OP's H told her will have now made her ill at ease when he goes on future business trips, and this shouldn't happen.
Of course trust is essential in every relationship, but dangle that sort of information before a spouse, and it's going to make the most trusting partner uncomfortable...
If I were to go on a GNO with my friends, then came home and told my partner that a few of my married friends had hooked up and had sex with strangers, even though he knows that I'm far from weak and helpless, I've got a sneaking feeling he wouldn't be too happy next time I was meeting up with them...
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