I have been married for 14 years and we have three kids together. The same issues come up in our marriage about once a year. It is like we temporarily fix the problem only for it to come back again next year.
The problem we have is he is fine with the way things are as long as we are having sex. I have trouble with the sexual relationship when I don't feel like I have an emotional connection with him. We don't communicate very well at all. We have nothing in common other than our kids. I don't feel like I can talk to him without feeling like a child. He makes me feel incompetent or stupid. He doesn't feel like I will be happy no matter what.
In the last few years that these issues have come up I have considered separation. My trouble is he feels like what I am asking for is for him to change. I feel like communication and spending time together is important but he doesn't find it crucial to our relationship. He makes me question whether or not I am being realistic as to how a marraige should be. Am I?
I feel like I have given to this marriage all that I have. I often have sex when I don't want to to make him happy. Most days when I make a decision or do something it is with the question in the back of my mind, "How will he feel or what will he want?" I don't make decisions about our home because he will come back with his being better or not like my thoughts regarding it.
Overall he is not a bad "person" but I am questioning whether or not we are right together? Do I wait it out until our kids are grown and moved on to see whether or not we have any sort of relationship? More often than not he is watching tv in the living room or in the garage and I am dealing with the kids or in the bedroom. We don't talk, we don't spend time together just me and him. I just don't know what to do any more...
The problem we have is he is fine with the way things are as long as we are having sex. I have trouble with the sexual relationship when I don't feel like I have an emotional connection with him. We don't communicate very well at all. We have nothing in common other than our kids. I don't feel like I can talk to him without feeling like a child. He makes me feel incompetent or stupid. He doesn't feel like I will be happy no matter what.
In the last few years that these issues have come up I have considered separation. My trouble is he feels like what I am asking for is for him to change. I feel like communication and spending time together is important but he doesn't find it crucial to our relationship. He makes me question whether or not I am being realistic as to how a marraige should be. Am I?
I feel like I have given to this marriage all that I have. I often have sex when I don't want to to make him happy. Most days when I make a decision or do something it is with the question in the back of my mind, "How will he feel or what will he want?" I don't make decisions about our home because he will come back with his being better or not like my thoughts regarding it.
Overall he is not a bad "person" but I am questioning whether or not we are right together? Do I wait it out until our kids are grown and moved on to see whether or not we have any sort of relationship? More often than not he is watching tv in the living room or in the garage and I am dealing with the kids or in the bedroom. We don't talk, we don't spend time together just me and him. I just don't know what to do any more...