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Marriage trouble help

4996 Views 147 Replies 23 Participants Last post by  Jimi007
Ok so my wife and I have been married for bout 2 years now,we had a fight about her male coworker freind,the reason ,my wife is a truck driver,the OM is a truck driver they got close because she trained him when he got hired on.they have known each other for about a year,the first memory I have of this man is my wife told me he got water on her and said infront of the other guy she was training look I got her wet.i let that go and she told me when it happened. Well the devolved a friendship and she has to take phone calls from him and others who need help.a little while goes by and OM invites my wife to have sausage and basically a dinner ,she tells me and at this point I don't really have a problem yet.well he says hey she has my sausage in her mouth and she likes it.this same joke is said many times for about a month I put up with it but he kept on saying it,in front of me while me my wife and him are on 3 way,my wife is a truck driver so she is not home a lot so we talk on the phone a lot and sometimes her freinds join the phone call that's I tell her that it's passing me off and making me feel uncomfortable, she says it's innocent and how he is but she will ask him to cut it out,well that goes fine for about a month he says the same joke the same way again,finally I say he man that don't sit well with me I feel uncomfortable can u cut it out not trying to be a d?&#.he said sorry ok,my wife and I agreed if he can't control himself and respect me then he has to go,we agreed.the other night he gets in her truck and there is a female trainie on the truck he says to me did you get pictures ?I said what!?he says did you get video?I didnt say anything didn't get mad.well long story short it didn't go well cause I brought it up and it caused a fight because she said it was the wrong time and she has a student on her truck.i screwed up and kept on wanting to know why she never says anything to him ?she gets quiet when the jokes are being told fyi no one's laughing but the common thing is my wife is in every joke in some kind of sexual situation. I told her he gotta go,but she got so mad I am speaking to her with calm voice did not accuse her of a affair she asked if I was I said no,she yelled at me during the convo called me a asshole said it was the dumb thing how I was acting about it,mind u I haven't called names yelled or even raised my voice.i asked her to tell him they can't talk anymore because of the jokes.she made me do it so I did I asked dude straight up if he wanted to have sex with my wife.of course he denied it I pulled the dirty cop and told him my wife told me everything fess up,he didnt.well she is really pissed I made her get rid of the she saying she needs time before she takes her home time.and no I didn't get a set time nor did I ask for I in the wrong,I trust my wife ,but that guy wouldn't hurts me that it feels like she is taking this guys side over our marriage. Help plz.edit*I will say that our fight did happen while she was at work with her female student on the truck ,the next day I did text her but I wanted his number so I could have the conversation that she didn't want to do.she picks up the phone,and yells so loud from inside the cab of the truck that the store she was unloading at called hr.that really pissed her off,she got probation for 6 months and she can't use her phone while she is driving.she used that as the fact of why she is mad. *edit thank you all this is a really good community you guys helped so much you don't even know,if we get divorced or stay together you guys have been very kind.
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She said she has no problem with it.
Sometimes every week for a 34
Well I said all that to her and she keeps trying to downplay it and say that's how he is and he talks to everyone that way .she told me tonight it's done so idk if that's anger or her actual choice.
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Best to put the kibosh on her activity with respect to other work mates.
Also she needs to tell "supervisor" in writing and cc HR for getting documented.

Dirtbags start like your experience and ramp up as time marches on when they get no knuckles rapped.

Also - 2 years married and this is going on with your wife? 🚩🚩🚩
Yes it was still going on not like everyday but over a 2 year period.the first time was 1.i got her wet then a couple of months go by he cooks some sausage in his truck they eat I was informed of this btw.then the second comment 2.look she got my sausage in her mouth and she likes it.then 5 months go by and the other night while my wife has a female student on her truck he says comment 3.did you get any pictures,did you get any video?implying my wife and her female student was taking part in sexual activities with each other.
I expected as much tho they never do unless you got phone records or video or caught them in the act.mind you the sex has died down, she never ask for it anymore its always me.but she did have one overy removed and her job is tough on the body,so I tried to understand and I did,but I am not sure that kills wanting to hold my hand or loving on me,nope I get pop kisses and sex that feels like she is only doing it to shut me bj s or nothing,and this wasn't like this when we first got together, total 180,went from warm and loving to cold and distant.
If I were you I would be very worried.. I'm sorry but married people in love don't have these things happen and if by chance it does happen the married partner shuts it down quick without being told. Doesn't seem like your wife gives a Crap what you think or feel.. and has to be pressured to stop, or make you believe it has stopped. I feel like from what you said she has most likely cheated already but that's just opinion cause there is no proof . I hope I'm wrong
She says nothing happened like that and he is just a freind.
You know your wife better than any of us.. In your heart and mind do you believe she hasn't cheated on you? Honestly
My gut says yes mayb not physical sex but mayb kiss or hugging. She messed up and said the first time we had problems she was stopped for the night and OM was arround and she called him over without tell me mind u her truck has a bed in the back,to discuss our marriage problems at that point he had said 2 of the 3 comments.i didn't find out about that till tonight.
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Thank you what am I looking for and how do I get proof?she is very careful ,she is sneaky and careful.i had access to her phone and I did go through it didn't find anything dirty from OM but another driver text her and called her hun or something to the fact,I Asked her and she said says that to everyone like a grandpaw
She has had sexual trauma in her past,she said she never even really liked sex until me fyi so I never took her for a very sexual person but man the fire that was there when we first met could of fooled me.asked her why she married me and had a kid with me he is almost 2 btw.she said I didn't know it was going to be like this and that I have only gotten worse,I never hit,or abused her in anyway.i haven't even yelled or called her a name, she has been doing all that.
I won't have that kinda access
Can't access Facebook which is the only form I am aware of,I have access to one email already went through it,no computer,and can't get access to the phone to do that,I can try our service provider but it's in her name,and if I said that she wont,I asked for marriage consolidation she said I don't like those people they always pick the side of the gender they are example if it's a man then they side with the man .do you really think she had sex with some other guy?she is so addiment about how she don't cheat and she said to me the other day b4 all this I don't care if I have sex ever again.
Then the only question you need to ask yourself is , is this the type of marriage you can be happy with for the rest of your life? If yes don't do anything. If your answer is no then talk to lawyer.. I can see you love the woman you married, but the woman she is now is not the same person you married.. it's your call but i think you already know what you need to do, it's just dealing with the decision that's so hard. I'm sorry partner
No I can't be happy the way it was,thank you for being kind.
Yea and he said look I don't like you that way and nothings going to happen if I come over.and Thanksgiving of 21 she couldn't make it home so conveniently she was at the right town as she ran out of time to drive her truck and she says Om invited me to his house for Thanksgiving his mom and aunt are there can I go,I said I don't like that idea and she said well I don't want to be alone on Thanksgiving and I want some turkey ,I gave in and let her I really had no contact with her during that day I text how's it going didn't get a reply for 2 or 3 hrs,arround 1030 or 930 pm he brought her back to her truck she didn't spend the night.but I can't confirm if any of those people were there or if they never was alone.
Why does that mean I am fu"$÷3?
I just wanted her male coworker freind to stop with the jokes ,I set up boundaries and she didn't do what you did and tell that guy to cut it out and mean it.she never told him in front of me like you did in front of your husband so it shook my core.
As it should.

You mention she said "its done", with regard to the coworker? What does that mean?
Yea I stood my ground ,did not accuse her of a affair I have no physical proof,I just said you never tell him to cut it out when he says it to u infront of me,and he has Bern warned 3 times,he has to go,so I told dude because she wouldn't do it.and because I wouldn't bend and see it as harmless.then that's when she said I think I am done.i told her about this post she read over what I put and said you didn't tell my side of it and go mad.
She just wants to spin it where it's not that bad.dude has been asked 3 times 2 times by her and both times it wasn't her idea to get on him and once by me.she defends him oh he is just like that.but never has told him to stop infront of me.
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