Sounds like she is in an EA that is about to become a PA. Unfortunately if she cared about your feelings more than his you might have a chance but from what your saying she on the OM side 100%. Ask her if she wants a divorce? Ask her if she wants to be single again? Let her know that her actions with OM are going to destroy your marriage.. hopefully the realization will hit her hard and wake her up.. I will pray for you.
Marriage trouble help
Ok so my wife and I have been married for bout 2 years now,we had a fight about her male coworker freind,the reason ,my wife is a truck driver,the OM is a truck driver they got close because she trained him when he got hired on.they have known each other for about a year,the first memory I have of this man is my wife told me he got water on her and said infront of the other guy she was training look I got her wet.i let that go and she told me when it happened. Well the devolved a friendship and she has to take phone calls from him and others who need help.a little while goes by and OM invites my wife to have sausage and basically a dinner ,she tells me and at this point I don't really have a problem yet.well he says hey she has my sausage in her mouth and she likes it.this same joke is said many times for about a month I put up with it but he kept on saying it,in front of me while me my wife and him are on 3 way,my wife is a truck driver so she is not home a lot so we talk on the phone a lot and sometimes her freinds join the phone call that's fine.so I tell her that it's passing me off and making me feel uncomfortable, she says it's innocent and how he is but she will ask him to cut it out,well that goes fine for about a month he says the same joke the same way again,finally I say he man that don't sit well with me I feel uncomfortable can u cut it out not trying to be a d?&#.he said sorry ok,my wife and I agreed if he can't control himself and respect me then he has to go,we agreed.the other night he gets in her truck and there is a female trainie on the truck he says to me did you get pictures ?I said what!?he says did you get video?I didnt say anything didn't get mad.well long story short it didn't go well cause I brought it up and it caused a fight because she said it was the wrong time and she has a student on her truck.i screwed up and kept on wanting to know why she never says anything to him ?she gets quiet when the jokes are being told fyi no one's laughing but him.so the common thing is my wife is in every joke in some kind of sexual situation. I told her he gotta go,but she got so mad I am speaking to her with calm voice did not accuse her of a affair she asked if I was I said no,she yelled at me during the convo called me a asshole said it was the dumb thing how I was acting about it,mind u I haven't called names yelled or even raised my voice.i asked her to tell him they can't talk anymore because of the jokes.she made me do it so I did I asked dude straight up if he wanted to have sex with my wife.of course he denied it I pulled the dirty cop and told him my wife told me everything fess up,he didnt.well she is really pissed I made her get rid of the OM.now she saying she needs time before she takes her home time.and no I didn't get a set time nor did I ask for one.am I in the wrong,I trust my wife ,but that guy wouldn't stop.it hurts me that it feels like she is taking this guys side over our marriage. Help plz.edit*I will say that our fight did happen while she was at work with her female student on the truck ,the next day I did text her but I wanted his number so I could have the conversation that she didn't want to do.she picks up the phone,and yells so loud from inside the cab of the truck that the store she was unloading at called hr.that really pissed her off,she got probation for 6 months and she can't use her phone while she is driving.she used that as the fact of why she is mad. *edit thank you all this is a really good community you guys helped so much you don't even know,if we get divorced or stay together you guys have been very kind.
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If I were you I would be very worried.. I'm sorry but married people in love don't have these things happen and if by chance it does happen the married partner shuts it down quick without being told. Doesn't seem like your wife gives a Crap what you think or feel.. and has to be pressured to stop, or make you believe it has stopped. I feel like from what you said she has most likely cheated already but that's just opinion cause there is no proof . I hope I'm wrong
You know your wife better than any of us.. In your heart and mind do you believe she hasn't cheated on you? HonestlyShe says nothing happened like that and he is just a freind.
I think it may be time to consult a lawyer. She is feeding you information slowly but most likely has cheated. And regardless of cheating her feelings for you from what you say have definitely changed.My gut says yes mayb not physical sex but mayb kiss or hugging. She messed up and said the first time we had problems she was stopped for the night and OM was arround and she called him over without tell me mind u her truck has a bed in the back,to discuss our marriage problems at that point he had said 2 of the 3 comments.i didn't find out about that till tonight.
I don't think you will be happy if this is how your marriage will be forever. She probably loves you but only sees you as a roommate now. She is in love with another man. It's your call but if I were you I would get a lawyer, collect as much information on her affair as you can and see what your lawyer tells you to do. I'm sorry your going through this .
In your situation being she has a trucker is any chance you can you can put a VAR in her truck .. that would tell you everything you need to know. Maybe hire a PI.
That's tough . Besides accessing social media, emails accounts, doing recovery on her phone or computer for deleted files.. I don't know much else unless you ask her to take polygraph test and see how she reactsI won't have that kinda access
Then the only question you need to ask yourself is , is this the type of marriage you can be happy with for the rest of your life? If yes don't do anything. If your answer is no then talk to lawyer.. I can see you love the woman you married, but the woman she is now is not the same person you married.. it's your call but i think you already know what you need to do, it's just dealing with the decision that's so hard. I'm sorry partner
I'm so sorry your going through this.. I wish I had the magic words to bring your wife back to the woman you married.. unfortunately I don't. Again I'm sorryNo I can't be happy the way it was,thank you for being kind.
Honestly though after the boyfriend was joking about his sausage in her mouth and how much she likes it, I would said that's great and told them both after she is done with his sausage can they come pick her stuff up on the front lawn it will be packed up in garbage bags waiting. Then she can have all the sausage her heart desires. I'm sorry but if she sees nothing wrong with that guy saying that infront husband that right there would have been it. Game over
The problem is from what koopOP has said even before this she was disconnecting emotionally from him, no kissing, no holding hands, basically did a 180 after getting married.. then involves OM in this and is standing up for OM . who knows if she is cheating, who cares. For whatever reason the marriage/ relationship is not what it was when they married and she doesn't care.. he can beg, plead, cry, yell, try, it doesn't matter if only one person in the relationship actually wants to be there and the other is busy eating another man's sausage and spending Thanksgiving with him at his house etc. Etc. . Sorry but that is the truth.
Seriously? So he can tell the OP to his face how much she likes his sausage. Maybe even tell OP some more fun facts about his wife he didn't know? Yeah she is doing everything she can to keep OM around. Good luck with that partner. She sounds like she wants you at home taking care of child and when she is on the road she is single and when she gets back home she is married again honestly. Almost like she is trying to be half pregnant.. married when she wants and single when she wants.She said she don't see a problem with the jokes because she knows it's harmless and he is just that way,she said me and him should hang out so I cam get to know him so I can understand.
A wife should never takes sides against the family ever. Right or wrong she should have your back first always and you should have her back. That's marriage, that's love, that's loyalty. PeriodShe said she feels she wasn't doing anything wrong and it was the OM that was doing it.
Well to answer your question about sex drive after having an ovary removed is yes it can decrease sex drive, depression, anxiety etc.. the doctor should have told you this. But that still doesn't explain having no issue showing the OM affection and attention and nothing for you. Doesn't explain her defending him an not you, doesn't explain wanting to spend time with OM and not you, doesn't explain talking to him about Marital problems on her bed, going to Thanksgiving with him etc etc etc.. she has traded you in for OM . She wants to talk to him and not you, she enjoys when he humiliates you.. otherwise she would have stopped it on her own and told OM to get lost because you are the one she loves and not him.. period. Now she is doing damage control because your ready to leave and she probably needs help babysitting and bills.. I'm sorry but I just don't believe your wife loves you anymore . I'm sorryNo I am not ok never having sex again and I am tired of the one way street thing like I said I have to ask everytime,never try to touch me much,very rarely, before the kid and the health scare and all the bs I put on here,she couldn't keep her hands off me.kid comes bs starts health scare then the sex dies down,then the affection dies down,we talk on the phone while she is driving convos are silent most of the time.i have to start a convo otherwise we just sit in silence same for when she comes home.is the one overy thing bs,fyi she had a cyst on her left overy and it was about to rupture.doc said she may lose interest or drive may go down a bit,but she is never horny anymore she says,she told me last week that she don't care if she never has sex again.
I can tell you love your wife, I can see your going to do everything you can to work things out. And I really do hope you two do works things out honestly. Seeing people married reconnect is great. I'm just forming my opinion of the FACTS you have stated and honestly I feel that one day when the truth is revealed you will be very hurt. I hope I'm wrong . I pray this was all just a misunderstanding. But if everything you said was true about her behavior with OM and the things that went on between them you are going to get hurt . But again I hope I'm wrong . I wish you the best of luckShe needs hormones but can't take anything that raises her blood pressure.she drives a semi truck and unloads her own trailer. She and I are talking on the phone atm.it seems she wants to work it out,like I said I can't prove 100% that something physical happened,and fyi they sat up front in the cab to talk not on her bed in the back.she and I had a talk about medical help about the issue.she thinks it's hopeless and said if I can't then mayb I need to find someone else.
Here is the thing. You busted her. You caught her. Your wife won't admit it cause she knows you possibly will divorce. You put your foot down and said that's enough. Good for you. The only issue here is do you trust her? And do you believe her? If you keep investigating and find out she cheats what would you do? But honestly it's good to see you stand up for yourself and your marriage. Sometimes we have to fight for what we believe in. Good for youWell it's tough, because she is a truck driver OM was a trainie first,so he had to call for work most of the time ,but I am wondering why work talk takes so long,and all that,we had the hard convo last night,still denial anything happened,said no it wasn't right what he was doing ,and no I didn't like it,just thought it didn't bother me,and of course he didn't like me that way and I don't like him that way,and I can tell if a guy wants something like that or is into me,and that's just how he talks to everyone.i didn't think you felt so strong about it blah blah blah.
You are right 100%idk I never said that to her.its tough because her government job before this trained her to lie ,make the target believe that she is not a cop or a threat.so it's like being married to a CIA agent you understand and I am emotionally involved,but even after having the hard convo my gut is still saying the truth has not been said.
Problem is koopOP can't push to hard or he basically be pushing her into another man's arms. Wife is gone for weeks on end. And talking to her while she is driving about everything doesn't help. No one likes these kinds of talks when working. KOOP honestly is powerless here cause there is no proof other than her wanting OM in her life. But that still doesn't prove anything. As for her lack of respect for KOOP that is a big issue. I feel for KOOP cause of she keeps this job things will most likely never change. Both people had crappy childhoods. Now OP wants to have a family and it seems she doesn't.. that's what hurts the most. Unless she takes a 9 to 5 job where she is home every day this marriage will never change. I wonder if that's why she likes the job she has now so she doesn't have to be home.
I understand completely now. Your just stuck between being wrong and losing the woman you love or being right and being made a fool of. Has she thought of changing jobs to save her family or is that job so important she is willing to lose her family again over it?Exactly because nothing is 100% sides to every story and there might be a chance I am wrong even though my gut is still screaming at me.her ex cheated so she cheated told him about it and he took her son and slapped her with child support,so even more of a reason not to tell me any truth ,because she is afraid the same thing is going to happen.
That is good news actually. Now the real test will begin. Does she choose to stay in office as much as she can to be with her family or does she choose to drive on the road as much as she can. If it were me and you truly love her watch for this and don't fight with her about any of this OM stuff. Be the loving, supportive husband and father you are and see what she chooses to do. Then your gut will know one way or another what is true or not.Well funny thing,she just got a promotion at her job while this was going on just yesterday she was told and yes she will be on the office and has a option to still drive when she wants for recovery loads,so she would be home every night.so yea her job just changed in our favor,but still I don't want to live with this if I can't trust what she says that's not fair to me our son or her,but my gut it will not stop,am I being over jealous or insecure?and your right about what you said.
And your not being insecure or jealous at all. Your reacting off of the actions of your wife. Your reacting off of being disrespected. Your looking at the facts and saying to yourself is this a possibility. It's called being normal and human.
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