[thelostman]

Why do people really get married? Marriage is supposed to be a real life commitment to your spouse... When I got married I really beleived that we would be together until one of us dies... before we got married she said she would kill me before she divorsed me... That actually gave me comfort in knowing that she didn't beleive in divorse. Now she says she wants a seperation, because she doesn't know if shes in love with me anymore. weve only been married for 3 years, but together 7 years before that. Really??? The old timers who have been together 20-40 years im sure have had their ups and downs. The only way people can stay together for life is by giving things a chance, and time to fix things. Not just give up, and run away from problems, spouses, a complete family. My wife thinks marriage is a f#cking fairytale the worst part is I'm still here waiting for her to see the light. I looked up the 180 program, and I'm wondering if anyone has had success in it? Plus any advice with past exsperinces with possible seperation, and divorse... Thanks in advance.... The Lost Man!!!!

 

[Hope1964]

I'm sorry this is happening to you

 

[thelostman]

Thanks Hope

 

[Hope1964]

You're welcome. You guys got together when you were both really young, didn't you? I think I read that anyway, correct me if I am wrong.

I have kids in their 20's and it breaks my heart to think they might someday have to go through anything like this. My oldest son already had his heart broken once.

Anyway, chin up. Learn to love yourself, and to not NEED anyone else to be happy. That's a secret I only learned recently.

 

[thelostman]

Yea we were too young.... Thanks for the feedback it made my day better

 

[Mtts]

I got to agree with Hope and say from a 180 (somewhat) user and also baffled almost ex-husband it works. Keep your chin up and try and not let it phase you the way you're feeling. Classic "fake it" behavior like when you're at work talking to co-workers/customers and you "pretend" to be happy. I did that with my wife, drove her nuts that I wasn't feeling it the way she wanted, apparently.

Crying, begging, pleading all of it just ends up pushing her away. The right way to solve it in most cases is going to be prep yourself for being single and often that unnerves the one claiming "space" or "I'm suffocated." In almost all cases it ends up being that your significant other was A: feeling like a crush outside the marriage was worth testing or B: Life would be better on their own for all that new age independant-tell-im-60-then-i-can-settle-down thinking we got going on.

Keep at it man, it does get better. One way or another it'll work out.

 

[Broken84]

I akways thought the same thing. I believe marriage is a life long commitment and you do anything/everything to work things out. My wife also said the same thing and believed in the same values...now she's running away. Give her space, and let her come to you. Thats where i am in the process right now.