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Your disdain and pride WILL effectively kill your marriage whether your wife makes changes or not. And she DOES need to make changes. But so do you, sir.

You are probably right, but if someone has wronged you and you are at the point of destroying a family. I think anyone would call out the person whether by name or not. Proof of point I am here asking strangers for advice.

I may not be the take charge "man" I should be, but at least I am seeking different opinions.

Calling her out is nothing compared to the damage she has done.

As for my children, I have not told them anything they already didn't figure out. If I truly wanted to play my almost adult children. I could tell them a fraction of their mom's past and that would do it.

Do I have problems, yes, I here. Do I want to have a better future, yes, I am here. Will it happen ....... that is initially up to my wife.
I spent nearly 2 decades with a man who had more issues than I can even account. And he didn't care. I was never an a**. It's a choice
 

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Joe, Rome wasn't built in a day. It took a long time to get where you are. Correcting course will take time.

Today you recognize you should have done something different yesterday. Tomorrow you will understand there is a better way to do the things that you did today. You are learning as you go. Life is fluid, that's the way it is. One step at a time. You're not under any timeline or defined behavior imposed by anyone.

As for a better future, if you continue to move forward as the pilot of your own destination you will be okay... with or without her.

Best
 

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You're making great strides.

I'm surprised the ''No More Mr Nice Guy'' book by Robert Glover hasn't been mentioned yet (if it has, a thousand apologies).

If you're not a ''reader'', there are plenty of youtube interviews of the author also.
 

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Your disdain and pride WILL effectively kill your marriage whether your wife makes changes or not. And she DOES need to make changes. But so do you, sir.



Do I have problems, yes, I here. Do I want to have a better future, yes, I am here. Will it happen ....... that is initially up to my wife.
Whether or not you have a better future is up to you, not your wife. You must man up and if you make promises as to course of actions, not threats. This will require you to to back up the words that come out of your mouth with actions. Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words.
 

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JTD,

Sorry you are in this spot.

My feeling here is that your W is still a sexual person, but has lost her attraction for you.

From what I have read of the Cosplay community, they are often bi-sexual, or while in costume anything goes as they are no longer themselves.

What I suspect happened is that your W had sex with that couple which killed all her sexual relationship with you.

I think you need to snoop on your Ws communications, VAR and polygraph her.

Your gut is screaming to you for a really good reason.

I felt a bit of this myself seeing my W putting on makeup to go see friends and primping herself in front of a mirror.
 
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