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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hey, i am married and i am a rso. my wife and i had a man come up to us wanting a dna text done. i dont like this at all. it could break up our family if things dont go right, i dont mean i will leave if he is not mine by blood i mean that my po might make me or court takes him away from us or makes me leave her. this guy also had tryed to say he has changed but he puts the blame on her and i was there it was not her. he is trying to manipulate her to leave me and go back to him. i dont know how to handle this i really want to kick his ass to tell the truth but i know it would make things even more bad for us. he keeps texting her and calling and **** like that. my wife is the kinda of person that is not aggressive. so she dont say much to him when he trys things. she trys to act like he did not say it at all. he even brought her soup to her work when she was sick. this is not his job it is mine. he had his chance. what the hell do i do. i dont want to lose her or my son. to me he is a weekend worrier/wanna be father. he has only seen him once and just held him. did not play with him or anything maybe said two words. what the hell do i do? :confused::mad:
 

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Your post is somewhat hard to follow, but if the guy visited the child once and held him, then you've been aware of the possibility that he is the real father?

If that's the case, then the following most likely applies:

1- Your wife cheated on you with her ex
2- The biological father probably has legal rights to his son but he can't take the child away from the child's mother
3- If you forgive the affair and stay together then you won't "lose" the child but there may be an order of visitation for the noncustodial biological father
4- If you leave her for cheating then you may lose access to the child
 

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What do you mean?

Who is this man to your wife?

Why is she or you allowing any contact with him?

How old is the boy?

Who's name is on the birth certificate as the father?

Don't you or your wife talk to him.

If he wants something let him get an order from the courts.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
she did not cheat on me she was with him before me, my being a rso is something that happend and no body not even a real female or anything, so no one got hurt or touched or anything. i am on the birth c.... not him we are only letting him see him so he wont take it to court yet. i thing i got it and dont let my past stop you form helping someone pls have a heart ok im asking for advice. i have no one to talk to about this
 

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H&F,

Don't be defensive, give us more information.

I don't understand why you or your W is letting him see the boy. Even if you think he is the bio father. He has no legal standing to do so, if your name is on the birth certificate.

If he wants to prove otherwise he needs to go to court. The courts favor the the father of record, YOU. They will make him go through hoops to prove this and spend all sorts of money. You should not be afraid of the courts. Do you know if your disposition will not allow you to be around your son? This is not true in most cases. Did you inform anyone you have a son?

The other thing that bothers me about your story is this man not only wants your son he wants your wife too. Why is your wife allowing this man to come around and make contact with her. Why isn't she telling him not to contact her?
 

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she did not cheat on me she was with him before me, my being a rso is something that happend and no body not even a real female or anything, so no one got hurt or touched or anything. i am on the birth c.... not him we are only letting him see him so he wont take it to court yet. i thing i got it and dont let my past stop you form helping someone pls have a heart ok im asking for advice. i have no one to talk to about this
The fact that you have been found guilty of a sex crime of some sort and claim that nobody was hurt makes me skeptical. I don't feel like I can help you without potentially putting a child in harm's way. You can talk to your P.O. and get an opinion, I would imagine.
 

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she did not cheat on me she was with him before me
If she was with him before you it should be a simple matter of working backwards to determine if the child could be his, obviously you think it could be since you allow this guy to come around and hold the child and all that.

my being a rso is something that happend and no body not even a real female or anything
How can you be convicted of a sex crime against a person who isn't even real?
 

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If she was with him before you it should be a simple matter of working backwards to determine if the child could be his, obviously you think it could be since you allow this guy to come around and hold the child and all that.



How can you be convicted of a sex crime against a person who isn't even real?
Indecent exposure. Public masturbation. Child pornography. Solicitation.

One of the problems I had with this thread was that he denies having had any effect on "real" persons, which makes me think there's a high possibility he's blaming others and not his actions for what happened to him.
 

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Gonna be blunt here.

1. RSO....you did something wrong...you're going to have to deal with it the rest of your life and so will everyone else involved with you. Maybe you shouldn't have done what you did. Now deal with it (sorry I have ZERO tolerance for RSOs)

2. IF the other man IS the father....DEAL WITH IT AGAIN and stop being a hinderance. So a man wants to be the father to his child....WOW what a effed up world we live in. What is happening to our society when men ACTUALLY want to be involved with their kids AND want to keep them away from RSO's......

Sorry to tell you this, but IF I was a guy who MIGHT be a father to a little kid and the woman was with an RSO. I'd first want a DNA test and then I'd go for FULL CUSTODY because the woman obviously has EXTREMELY bad judgement to be with an RSO.

Now, please understand, you may have served your time and "paid your debt to society" but many people (LIKE ME) would NEVER let you near my children. Regardless of what you did. There is NO crime that gets you on the RSO list that is "okay" to me.
 

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Gonna be blunt here.

1. RSO....you did something wrong...you're going to have to deal with it the rest of your life and so will everyone else involved with you. Maybe you shouldn't have done what you did. Now deal with it (sorry I have ZERO tolerance for RSOs)

2. IF the other man IS the father....DEAL WITH IT AGAIN and stop being a hinderance. So a man wants to be the father to his child....WOW what a effed up world we live in. What is happening to our society when men ACTUALLY want to be involved with their kids AND want to keep them away from RSO's......

Sorry to tell you this, but IF I was a guy who MIGHT be a father to a little kid and the woman was with an RSO. I'd first want a DNA test and then I'd go for FULL CUSTODY because the woman obviously has EXTREMELY bad judgement to be with an RSO.

Now, please understand, you may have served your time and "paid your debt to society" but many people (LIKE ME) would NEVER let you near my children. Regardless of what you did. There is NO crime that gets you on the RSO list that is "okay" to me.
I think you're being harsh, judgmental and unfair. Innocent people do get labeled. It could have been something as simple as age of consent or a girl calling rape out of regret, fear of getting into trouble with her parents etc.

I dated a guy who was arrested for sexual assault and would have been labelled if charges weren't dropped. He was 18, the girl was 17. Her grandmother walked in on them and she cried rape. To lump him in with rapists, child molesters etc would be wrong. I think anyone who questioned my judgement for dating him, is the one with poor judgment.

Before you say I'm believing his side only, I was friends with the girl and she admitted it to everyone while trying to get him to take her back...

OP, go to the court. Break all contract with this guy until it's court ordered otherwise.
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