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Discussion Starter #1
hiya. i really dont know what to do here. maybe someone can help give me a different outlook on whats goin on here that maybe i dont see.
my wife has now been gone only bout 3 days. but it started bout 3 weeks ago. after about a week of me askin her to come to bed with me an it not happenin, when she finally did at 2 am one morn she got in bed an i asked what was goin on she looked at me with the most serious face an told me she was so done with me. ouch.
this is our 3rd time bein split up. the last 2 times were because i didnt stop cheatin on her. but i have not done that fer quite some time now. im never gonna say that i been the perfect husband. ive been, at many times, very verbally an emotionally abusive to her an our 4 children throughout our 10 yrs of marriage. seriously have an anger problem with a good dose of ADD. notta good combo.
my wife is really just a sweet hearted girl. has good ethics on how the kids should be raised in the mind. soft spoken fer the most part. mainly her down fall is that her moto is...why do today when ya can put it off till tommorro... but most of the time tommorro never comes. but as an employee she is great. dont get that.
this woman even through all of what life has dealt us is all that i know an love. she is my wife an i love her with all of my heart. i am willing, and have already started, to go thru whatever counciling, anger management an psychologist that i have to. i really dont wanna lose her an have my family torn apart over what i believe can be fixed. just seems that she wants nothin to do with it. we met each other when i was 15 an she was 12. now after us bein best friends an together off an on fer that whole time, totally together fer the last 13 yrs, i fear that all is lost. we definately have alot of water under the bridge. tryin to keep us together fer the family an dont wanna lose the best thing that has an could ever be in my life.
if someone has any ideas that a guy can try i sure would be appreciative.
 

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Hi there, I am dealing with my husband's anger issues right now. Sounds to me like your wife has been through a lot but if she keeps reconciling with you it must be because she has feelings for you. I think that since it took many years to do the damage, it will take a long time to undo. You will have to learn to be patient and prove yourself in every little thing to show that you still care about this woman and willing to do whatever it takes to get her heart back (not just her). Be the best father and the best husband you can be and be very patient. Unfortunately, you have no right to make any demands at this point. All you can do is hope that she will see how much you care. Actions will speak louder than words here.
 

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Sorry, biff, but sometimes you just have to face the fact that it's over. You can only kick a dog just so many times before he bites you.

You've been verbally abusive and emotionally abusive to your wife. Your wife has watched you be verbally and emotionally abusive to your children (HER babies!) You have REPEATEDLY cheated on your wife.

It's very possible she's reached her limit and you've hurt her too much to forgive. If you REALLY love her, then let her go if THAT is what she wants. What YOU WANT is NOT always the MOST IMPORTANT THING. After all, YOU WANTED to have sex with some other woman. And some other woman. And some OTHER woman. So, yeah, WHAT YOU WANT....not really the top of ANYBODY's agenda but yours.
 

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Agree with SlowltGettingWiser

She's done and I can't say I blame her. Time to let her go and for you to finally work on the issues that you now seem to recognize will keep you from finding someone else.

Counseling/therapy is the answer. Do it now
 

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Discussion Starter #5
counseling\therapy an anger management has been started fer 3 wks now. i will never say or believe that i dont blame her either. but i will say that i will never give up. i may not have been the best husband, i have cheated an that has been over fer quite some time. i have made many life adjustments to accommodate. there has to be a better way then to just let er go. i must find a way to fix this. there is no one else fer this guy. want no part of anothers life when i owe so much to my wife! i owe so much to our kids! i owe so much to our family!i cant give up!!!
 

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You are a repeat offender, a repeat cheater. She's well within her right to decide what she wants to do about her marriage. You gave her a ticket to leave the marriage.
 

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All I can suggest is showing her that your serious about changing. Your best hope is showing her that you truly understand what you did wrong in the past, and are doing everything you can to make sure it doesn't happen again.

When were the last separations?

C
 
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