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40 Posts
My wife and I have been married 18 years and have one daughter of our own, 17, and two older children, 23 and 25, from my wife's first marriage that ended in her first husband's death by drowning. We met two years after that and married a year later. By both our admissions it has not been a happy marriage, our kids have had to listen to all the fighting. In the last three years, my daughters have had to listen to horrible name calling directed toward me by my wife. I basically wake up every day hearing what a POS I am and at night I hear the same thing. Took it for years and years, overlooking, saying that everyone has good and bad traits,etc. This past summer it got physical. She would physically attack me and leave bruises on my arms. The kids see this and make comments to me. I was all in before the summer, after the summer, I am completely emotionally removed. Our family doctor saw the bruises and jokingly asked if I made my wife mad and did my wife do that. I said yes, she in fact did. So I told him the whole story for the purposes of documentation. My 25 year old son went and told his grandparents (my wifes first husband's parents) what was going on in the house, and they approached me, told me what was told to them and asked if it was true. I said yes. They made me promise to see an attorney, which I did.
I am considering leaving because I have come to the conclusion I would rather be alone than live with that everyday. I don't have another girlfriend or lover. I have never even considered it. I am a medical professional that owns his own medical practice, work hard, have taken care of us well. Don't drink excessively, smoke or gamble or have other vices. I stay home most of the time and enjoy time with my daughters. I feel that the damage my daughters have sustained and the verbal abuse they have had to listen to because I was trying to be understanding is a lot.
I am frustrated, and emotionally gone. Thru the years my wife has often said how bad she wants a divorce...it started very early in the marriage. This past summer it reached an all time peak to the point where I decided to go there emotionally as well, and accept the fact we were going to divorce. I asked her to go to counseling with me. I suggested John Gottmans marriage books and materials. She said she was not interested. So now that I say I am done, finished and am not going to live the rest of my life like this, now all the sudden she wants to work on it. Problem is...I am over the cliff...and I can't go back.
Who else has been here, and what advice might anyone have? I got nuthin' left...and would like some peace.
I don't want to leave to be with someone else, as I know the slim to none chance that ever works out. I am looking to regroup and get back to somewhat of the person I was before all the verbal abuse started. Ideas?
I am considering leaving because I have come to the conclusion I would rather be alone than live with that everyday. I don't have another girlfriend or lover. I have never even considered it. I am a medical professional that owns his own medical practice, work hard, have taken care of us well. Don't drink excessively, smoke or gamble or have other vices. I stay home most of the time and enjoy time with my daughters. I feel that the damage my daughters have sustained and the verbal abuse they have had to listen to because I was trying to be understanding is a lot.
I am frustrated, and emotionally gone. Thru the years my wife has often said how bad she wants a divorce...it started very early in the marriage. This past summer it reached an all time peak to the point where I decided to go there emotionally as well, and accept the fact we were going to divorce. I asked her to go to counseling with me. I suggested John Gottmans marriage books and materials. She said she was not interested. So now that I say I am done, finished and am not going to live the rest of my life like this, now all the sudden she wants to work on it. Problem is...I am over the cliff...and I can't go back.
Who else has been here, and what advice might anyone have? I got nuthin' left...and would like some peace.
I don't want to leave to be with someone else, as I know the slim to none chance that ever works out. I am looking to regroup and get back to somewhat of the person I was before all the verbal abuse started. Ideas?